An abusive man will never leave the family home! I heard this recently, do you think it’s true?

[Raiseyourhand]

I know in my case it took almost 2 years to get him out and lots of money at court for me and children to get it back back after fleeing abuse. I remember him telling me he will quit his job and get a tent and camp in the house and I’d never get him out. He would make me suffer if I ever tried.

I’m glad I did and he never quit his job or bought a tent. He just lived in it for 2 years and never cleaned it so it was gross after he left. I guess I did suffer though having to fund the court case and living in a room for over a year and the stress.

These men are horrible. 😠

House aside I shudder to think how people cope now without tegal aid. It took me 5 years of court to deal with my violent ex. The court made him sell and I bought a fresh new house. My side was all covered by legal aid and cost 100,000 to be free. I absolutely do not know what I'd do now.

We do have kids, and yes it was awful having to communicate with him about them. Once the house was sold (thanks to the court order) he moved on to messing me about regarding contact, missing weeks, threatening to not drop them off (he always did, eventually).

As the kids got older they started not being bothered about not seeing him so I began to not respond to his taunting messages, or replied simply 'ok' if he cancelled.

It is very much about control. Still.

I've finally learned to disengage. And I've moved on. He's getting married next year but still tries so hard to get a rise out of me. The kids hardly see him now (twice a year maybe) but I figure that's not such a bad thing.

My exH is still living in our house 2 years after we had a court order instructing us to sell the house. He just wouldn't engage in the sales process and the few viewings we had said it was disgusting and he was rude and unhelpful.

I always knew I would have to move out as he would never have done it. I've lived in several rentals with the kids despite having a mortgage and a house I can't live in. I'm currently hoping he will buy me out but am not holding his breath as rather than sorting out his finances he is spending all the money he earns travelling. He wont' let me buy him out even though I could afford it as he would see that as a win for me.

Am considering going to court again but costs are prohibitive and he has a way to charm everyone and make himself seen as reasonable.