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Original poster

Any idea why men who cheat and leave get

40 replies

ginnslimline · 21/03/2022 20:50

Get upset when his wife moves on.
Not immediately but a year and a half late. He's not happy. He had an affair and buggered off after 18 years.
Can someone explain what madness is this?

OP posts:
Isitsixoclockalready · 21/03/2022 20:57

@ginnslimline

Get upset when his wife moves on. Not immediately but a year and a half late. He's not happy. He had an affair and buggered off after 18 years. Can someone explain what madness is this?
Not sure how widespread a phenomenon it is but it sounds pretty cheeky.
SparklingLime · 21/03/2022 20:59

Massive, massive entitlement.

Shinydiscoballs1 · 21/03/2022 20:59

You always want what you can't have?

Sideorderofchips · 21/03/2022 20:59

Oh my ex is like this

Really put out I've met aomeone

Dog in a manger syndrome

Oogabooga123 · 21/03/2022 21:00

Because they are entitled and believe that you should not move on and should be at their beck and call forever.

Lolalovesroses · 21/03/2022 21:04

They realise the grass is not greener, and don't want another man enjoying what they are now missing.

Dillydollydingdong · 21/03/2022 21:06

You'd think he'd be pleased you weren't going to bug him. I think you've just hurt his pride. How dare you!?

Kellyagain · 21/03/2022 21:26

It’s not just men. My DH ex done this to him, left him for someone else and had a baby with new partner by the time I met DH. Still acted as if we’d had the affair and run off. Very odd

5128gap · 21/03/2022 21:45

Because the long relationship they left still matters. Its their history and security, and while the woman they left remains single they still have it in the back of their mind that they could go back if they get tired of their new life. They also see the long term partner as theirs, a possession that they've mothballed. Seeing her as an autonomous woman living her life without them and slamming the door on any return is a shock.

Elieza · 21/03/2022 21:56

If he can’t have you (even if it’s by his own choice) nobody else should have you either.

Like you’re a commodity.

BestZebbie · 21/03/2022 21:59

Because they are so great that you are supposed to mourn their loss forever, pining and never being able to get over them - you are replaceable, but they aren’t….

Original poster
ginnslimline · 21/03/2022 22:09

I find it odd. He was questioning our child about my fella's height , job, car, where he lived etc.
Terribly odd. Then when partner was going to help me out with dropping off my child to my exh, my exh announced ( with inverted palm to forehead I'm guessing ) that he wasn't ready to meet him yet ... wtf

OP posts:
Loveisallweneed · 22/03/2022 03:41

@Shinydiscoballs1

You always want what you can't have?
I mean isn’t this just a typical male trait . They seem to spend their entire lives listing after other women even when in happy marriages It’s hardly surprising they only want the one that they once had once she’s no longer available to him
Loveisallweneed · 22/03/2022 03:42

Lusting not listing / although I’m sure many have a list as long as their arms of women they’d cheat with if they wouldn’t get caught and lose their money and or housekeepers Grin

Casper001 · 22/03/2022 07:03

Sitting the other side of the fence (my ex wife went off with someone else) it's not just men that act like this.

To be honest it's quite bonkers. They want to move on with their life but hope you never do as your responsibility should be work / the kids etc. Basically the stuff that still benefits themConfused

MsTSwift · 22/03/2022 07:07

In my late teens I babysat for a family the mum had ended the marriage due to his numerous affairs. She had me to babysit as she was going on a date. A gorgeous man (even to my 18 year old self) turned up in a sports car to collect her The Dh was there seeing the kids. He actually had a tantrum ranting raving yelling. All these years later it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen!

MsTSwift · 22/03/2022 07:08

The wife was absolutely beautiful he was a toad.

Lunar27 · 22/03/2022 07:24

Please let me know when you find out!

Although in reality I'm not that bothered Wink

My wife's ex husband was exactly like this. They got divorced and were separated for about three months when I met her. We started seeing each other and it was fine until he saw me.

Basically he couldn't leave the other woman but wanted his ex back too. She was like, "sure, why don't I slot back into a shit marriage. Where do I sign?".

I just put it down to him being a massive entitled prick but happy to hear of a more technical rationale.

boobot1 · 22/03/2022 07:25

Its not just partners either, I had a guy at work who went ballistic every time another male spoke to me. He said I was his( I litrally never spoke to him, other than hello and goodbye). He got onto several fights and nearly got fired. It was very strange and a little scary.

layladomino · 22/03/2022 07:46

Ego I think. And women can be like this as well .

They like to imagine you're pining for them, and you'll never be as happy as you were with them. Even if they themselves have completely moved on.

It comes as a shock that you're not sat making homecoming banners.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 22/03/2022 13:27

IBecause the long relationship they left still matters. Its their history and security, and while the woman they left remains single they still have it in the back of their mind that they could go back if they get tired of their new life. They also see the long term partner as theirs, a possession that they've mothballed. Seeing her as an autonomous woman living her life without them and slamming the door on any return is a shock.*

Interesting and true

Tamworth123 · 22/03/2022 13:35

@ginnslimline

Get upset when his wife moves on. Not immediately but a year and a half late. He's not happy. He had an affair and buggered off after 18 years. Can someone explain what madness is this?
Because he can leave his toy on the shelf/ground and move onto another toy; but nobody else is allowed his unused toy. It's his, whether he wants it or is "using" it or not.
ravenmum · 22/03/2022 14:22

Because you are interfering with his narrative. Stop attracting men and having fun - get back in your role as boring old nag that drove him to cheat and is devastated to have lost such an amazing partner.

Mylifehasimploded · 22/03/2022 14:23

Mine had a 3 year affair, around 3 months after I threw him out he accused me of ‘having multiple men’. He’s an idiot.

callmeblondie · 22/03/2022 14:25

The sense of ownership.

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