Any idea why men who cheat and leave get

[ginnslimline]

Get upset when his wife moves on.
Not immediately but a year and a half late. He's not happy. He had an affair and buggered off after 18 years.
Can someone explain what madness is this?

@boobot1

Its not just partners either, I had a guy at work who went ballistic every time another male spoke to me. He said I was his( I litrally never spoke to him, other than hello and goodbye). He got onto several fights and nearly got fired. It was very strange and a little scary.

Christ. That must have been awful.

My exH was devastated I didn't have a breakdown and got on with seeing a solicitor, sorting out finances etc.

It's all ego.

@Kellyagain

It’s not just men. My DH ex done this to him, left him for someone else and had a baby with new partner by the time I met DH. Still acted as if we’d had the affair and run off. Very odd

Exactly this...my ex has been vile to my girlfriend on a number of occasions and she's been married 9 years to someone else....certainly not exclusive to men.

I'm sure this is one of those things that only happens on TV. It makes no sense to cut off a relationship with a woman, and then get annoyed about not having a relationship with her. Certainly, I've never met any man who has acted like this.

Possessiveness. The old I don't want her but nobody else can have what was once mine.

My ex was a serial cheat, countless one night stands throughout our relationship. I only figured out my their MO towards the end, I'd been far too trusting, and genuinely believed that they'd just crashed on a friend's sofa all those times when they stayed out all night.

Every relationship I've had since, my ex has tried to sabotage, and goes out of her way to be awkward. Even though she's supposedly moved on herself, and married to someone else for years.

I can only think it's some kind of possession thing - they treat you like they own you and think they still do even after the relationship has ended.

DH’s ex was like this, she cheated numerous times, walked away from the marriage, a year later she guessed DH met someone new because he was “happy”, physically attacked him, stalked me. She didn’t want him anymore, but she didn’t want him to move on either. Very controlling.

Because he thought he was indispensible, and he wasn't. The woman moved on, replaced him without difficulty, is happy without him, highlighted the fact that he wasn't important any more.

A lot of male egos can't handle that.

Because in their heads they are the King of men?
A few cultures men have wives and mistresses and sometimes harems, maybe to guys that cheat they half hope they will end up with this situation?

My boyfriend made stupid mistakes and although the story has changed 3 times now on what happened

"We sat with a cuppa side agreed we were more like brother and sister than a couple so we mutually Said we'd split and be friends"

"She dumped me and that's the only time we ever argued and she shouted it was over and went on holiday"

"I dumped her"

I'll go with the middle one is what actually happened. Which adds up to her photos still being in his living room when we met. His attempt at making me comfortable with her still being a friend who popped in for coffee and them sending little How's you conversations every now and then via Facebook. Whilst some of its true. I saw the messages she sent when he met me. She didn't like him moving on. I also saw his face when we were out in the car together and he saw a man who was texting his ex when thry were together. I also asked him if it would bother him if she met someone now. He said he didn't think so but it would if it was someone they knew. He said at first all he could think about was she would have sex with someone else.

But he was messaging another woman and met her for sex the week after his ex left him. So....

Its almost like he couldn't control himself and was enjoying attention online from women. But he didn't actually want to loose his girlfriend.

Quite possibly your ex is the same. Some men just want more than they can have. They are insecure and need to feel wanted. But the idea of you being wanted by another man will send him into a jealous rage. Because it was never about you not being enough. It was about him being insecure and weak.

My ex threw a massive tantrum because I moved on he screamed I would never be free of him and good luck getting a divorce because he wasn't signing I said fine and filed after five years he couldn't stop it

@MsTSwift That was great!

I’m guessing it’s not really about the ex.
It’s because there’s a possibility the new man will end up living with his children?

I am in the exact same situation with my EX wife, she started an affair with a colleague and left our marriage for him, I spent months trying to turn the situation around getting treated like dirt. After I finally had enough I walked away and sold our house and waited 18 months before I met my fantastic girlfriend, and for some reason my EX seemed to take exception with it and was just acting jealous and as though I had done something wrong for moving on, I can't understand it. Our situation was even less complicated as our "kids" are adults.

The children thing I could actually understand if my ex was actually interested in being a father