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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My Dad has had an affair, the 'other woman' keeps trying to contact me?

50 replies

greatweekendnot · 21/03/2022 00:21

My Dad has been having an affair with this woman. It's ended now, but she keeps trying to contact me. She has asked someone for my phone number and has sent me a friend request on Facebook.

I don't know her at all and have never seen or spoken to her.

Why would she want to contact me? She has spoken to my Mum (she showed up at my parents' house) and I have siblings too and she's not adding them on Facebook.

I'm confused.

OP posts:
greatweekendnot · 21/03/2022 00:22

Also sorry if 'this woman' sounds rude I just didn't know how else to describe her.

OP posts:
HellToTheNope · 21/03/2022 00:22

Don't bother being confused. Block the nutter.

TheBeesKnee · 21/03/2022 00:25

Sounds like a bunny boiler

CatAndHisKit · 21/03/2022 00:41

She's obviously obsessed with your dad and can't handle the rejectcion so trying to find any way to link to him again, maybe with sob stories so that you can see that your parents marriage is ruined, he shuld be with her, she really loves him, etc.

Marineboy67 · 21/03/2022 00:48

Call the police and explain what's happening. This is harassment.

ChudraWouldaShouldya · 21/03/2022 00:53

@Marineboy67

Call the police and explain what's happening. This is harassment.
Hmm

Whilst I agree she sounds like a bit of a nut job asking someone for the OP’s phone number and sending her a FB friends request isn’t harassment.

Please don’t devalue the actual definition of harassment by suggesting otherwise

Topseyt · 21/03/2022 01:23

So since her relationship with your Dad ended she has turned up at your parents'house, begged your phone number from someone and sent you a friend request on Facebook?

Not on. I disagree with a pp that it isn't harassment. It is. Message her just once telling her bluntly that her attempts to contact you are inappropriate, and that if she persists in her efforts to pursue your family in this way then you will seek advice from the police.

Then block her everywhere.

FlissyPaps · 21/03/2022 01:33

Not normal at all! How old are you if you don’t mind me asking OP?

I’d also be confused. & Did she get your number? Or did she just ask someone for it and they’ve declined and told you about it?

Dontbeamugallyourlifesucker · 21/03/2022 01:37

How did it end with your dad and her? She should not be pestering you Flowers

girlmom21 · 21/03/2022 01:37

How old is she? Is there a chance she has had a baby?

Are you the eldest?

cstx89 · 21/03/2022 01:42

I would message her and ask her to stop trying to contact you and to stop asking others for your personal details.

Sswhinesthebest · 21/03/2022 01:56

I’d be blunt in telling her not to contact you again as you will never respond in any way.

bluesberry · 21/03/2022 02:56

Yes as a pp said maybe she could be pregnant with his baby??

Mackmama · 21/03/2022 03:09

Oh god, that’s awful OP, I do feel for you. Have nothing to do with her, if there are any unplanned for children in the mix as suggested by a couple of others, she needs to channel all that through your dad and to leave you alone. I speak from experience when I say this is an awful thing to happen and the last thing you need is for her to be trying to get to you. Take care x

CheekyHobson · 21/03/2022 03:38

@bluesberry

Yes as a pp said maybe she could be pregnant with his baby??
Presumably she would have mentioned that when she showed up on the OP's mother's doorstep.

Only someone with zero boundaries (to be fair, it's already obvious that the woman in question has zero boundaries as she was sleeping with a married man) would try to contact her affair partner's daughter after the affair was ended.

It is nothing to do with the OP at all and the only action she should take is to block the woman on any social media possible.

Turningpurple · 21/03/2022 03:51

Wether she is pregnant or not she should be contact the OP.

Op I would tell her once you aren't intetested and to go away. If she does continue after that consider involving the police.

After my grandads affir was exposed it cause all sorts of problems like this. Though it was before the Internet. She would turn up at my mums and her sisters jobs etc. Apparently, kept claiming he didnt have to leave my nana, OW was happy to remain OW and things could stay as they were. Obviously, the hurt was my Grandads fault. But she spent a good few years making it worse.

bluesberry · 21/03/2022 05:36

@CheekyHobson
I never said it was anything to do with the OP or that she needed to take any action.
The OP asked why she would want to contact her so I gave a possible reason.

Staryflight445 · 21/03/2022 06:44

I’d message and simply ask ‘what do you want?’

And then reply ‘I’ll make this very clear, you are not to contact me ever again’.

Whydidimarryhim · 21/03/2022 06:50

She probably wants to tell you all the lies your Dad told her -= however it’s inappropriate -= she’s probably hurt but again not your issue. Just ignore her messages - she will go away eventually -=

collieresponder88 · 21/03/2022 06:53

Why are you confused just block her end of drama

gamerchick · 21/03/2022 06:56

A simple fuck off then block should do it.

HeartsAndClubs · 21/03/2022 07:01

people are being far too reasonable here. Never mind all this “please don’t contact me again” crap. Tell her to fuck off and then block her.

Sofacouchboredom · 21/03/2022 07:07

If your parents are trying to rebuild they will be having no contact with her. Do the same. Just block her attention seeking.

2DogsOnMySofa · 21/03/2022 07:08

I agree with a pp, her behaviour is bordering on harassment. Send her a message, asking her not to contact you, if she persists you'll go to the police. Then block her

dworky · 21/03/2022 07:43

She's could be feeling desperate & hurt, who knows what lies he told her?
You should avoid her, though.