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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I hate weekends with husband

33 replies

Confused455 · 20/03/2022 08:46

I dread waking up on a Saturday morning. I get up early and start cleaning, or if he lets me have a lie in I lie in bed worried to get up in case he starts having a go at me. Anything can set him off.
I told him today I hate the weekend with him and prefer to be at work. He told me he prefers me to be at work.
We haven’t had sex in a year now. And I don’t feel any urge too. We do have a laugh every now and again, when he’s not in a bad mood.
So yeah, I hate the weekends. Anyone else?

OP posts:
Beamur · 20/03/2022 08:48

I think your problems is not weekends. It's your marriage.
Why are you still together? It doesn't sound like either of you are happy.

Jonny1265 · 20/03/2022 08:51

Sounds dreadful. Do you want to stay in that relationship or leave?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 20/03/2022 08:53

How can you be helped here into leaving your abuser?.

GCAcademic · 20/03/2022 08:53

Is this really how you want to spend your life? Presumably, one day you will both retire and then every day will be like this.

roarfeckingroarr · 20/03/2022 08:58

My son's father and I nearly got back together. This weekend I've been reminded of just what a grumpy, mood sucking, snappy fun sponge he is and decided I will not be letting him come back, ever. I really feel for you OP.

Original poster
Confused455 · 20/03/2022 09:03

Definitely feel trapped and sucked of any fun or happiness.
He doesn’t like the neighbours, he doesn’t like my mother, he doesn’t like anyone. Probably doesn’t like himself.
And god no, I don’t want to spend retirement like this.

OP posts:
LoudingVoice · 20/03/2022 09:04

Do you have kids?

It sounds an utterly miserable way to live, you say you work - can you leave? Do you own or rent your house?

HellToTheNope · 20/03/2022 09:05

Why are you continuing to waste your life like this when you don't have to?

gettingolderandgrumpy · 20/03/2022 09:07

**We do have a laugh every now and again, when he’s not in a bad mood.

We haven’t had sex in a year now. And I don’t feel any urge too.**

It’s the the weekend it’s your marriage you don’t make each other happy so why stay ?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 20/03/2022 09:08

Re your comment:-
"And god no, I don’t want to spend retirement like this".

So don't then. You have a choice here re this man. What is currently holding you back?.

comfortablyfrumpy · 20/03/2022 09:08

I don't think weekends are the problem.
If the relationship makes you feel like this, time to reconsider? Sorry, it sounds draining.

BlossomRussosHatCollection · 20/03/2022 09:09

He doesn't like spending time with you, you don't like spending time with him: surely this is when you amicably quit and both move on?

LovelyYellowLabrador · 20/03/2022 09:10

Please don’t waste your life like this
Why are you still with him ? You don’t deserve to be hiding in bed at weekend
Hugs for you
A better life is out there for you
Be brave and make the changes you know you need to make
Good luck op

sunflowermadness · 20/03/2022 09:12

When he said he prefers it when you are at work in response to you hating the weekends, did anything else come of this chat between you both?

It sounds like you are both miserable, and if you are both aware that this is the case is it possibly something you can fix by working with each other?

I think a good chat here is key to find out what each other needs from the relationship and your lives to see where it went wrong, and to see if it is worth salvaging.

I'm not saying your husbands behaviour is acceptable here. It is not especially when you are stepping on eggshells. There will be a reason why he is like this, we all get unhappy at various times in our lives but ultimately it is HIS responsibility to change that not take it out on you.

Bobbybobbins · 20/03/2022 09:14

Please leave- this is no way to live

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 20/03/2022 09:17

OP, I'm disturbed that this is just an "I hate weekends" thread and not an "I need to make a plan to urgently leave my husband" thread.

Perfect28 · 20/03/2022 09:18

Why are you staying together?

MrsLargeEmbodied · 20/03/2022 09:22

is it just the two of you?

join a club
go out of the house - for the day!

LizzieSiddal · 20/03/2022 09:24

You need to separate, you only get one life and you can’t spend it like this.

Also your H sounds horrible so it’s no wonder you feel as you do.

dworky · 20/03/2022 09:24

He's abusing you & the only thing you should be concerned with is leaving him.
Your life will not improve until you do. It can only get worse.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 20/03/2022 09:29

why is he in a bad mood?
perhaps you need a weekend away?

HollowTalk · 20/03/2022 09:33

Tell us more about your situation. How old are you and do you have children with him? Do you work?

userxx · 20/03/2022 09:34

This is no way to live your life, it's sounds miserable. Maybe it's time to part ways.

PrettyVacancy · 20/03/2022 09:36

This is the exact reason I knew my first marriage was over. I lived for Monday morning when we both set off for work. The weekends were torture. You have my sympathy OP.

SallyWD · 20/03/2022 09:41

This is not normal. I love weekends because I have quality time with my husband. I really think you need to leave.