Think I've been ghosted?

[Rainagainandagain]

I've known a guy for quite a few years, we've been facebook friends for at least 4 years.. the last 2 years he's been single.
This weekend he suggested we meet for a talk and food. So he took me out on Thursday for a walk and lunch at a cafe. We seemed to get in okay.. there were a few awkward silences, so I made conversation.

When he dropped me off home he gave me a hug and kiss on cheek.. I sent him a text to say thanks for a really nice lunch and that I enjoyed the time. He said you're welcome in his text.. since then nothing.
Have I been ghosted?

Did you reply to the you're welcome text?

Ask him.

"Hey, fancy a pint in the sunshine on Sunday?"

Or are you expecting him to read your mind and initiate contact?

I don’t call that ghosting. To me that’s when you are dating someone and they suddenly disappear. You went out for lunch once that’s all. As PP said you are perfectly entitled to contact him and ask him out rather than just wait for him to make contact…

I'd tend to think it doesn't matter, and dump him (in your head) for poor communication. If you can't manage at this stage to be happy with each others' communication style, it's not a goer, is it.

Take charge. It's not all about whether he likes you. He's made you feel insecure within days. That's not your man.

he took me out on Thursday for a walk and lunch at a cafe
He said you're welcome in his text.. since then nothing

Date was only yesterday , right? And he answered your text immediately?

What is your definition of ghosting? Your expectations sound rather high intensity for a first date.

Not ghosted but it doesn’t sound like there is chemistry there.

I think you had lunch with a friend.

Thank you for your replies.. I haven't had a date in years, since I split with my ex.. so kind if new to all this dating in the 2020s..

Yeah,
I haven't much experience in the dating field.. its years since I dated as I've split from my ex . That was a few years ago.. I'm new to all this dating..

That's right.. I didn't feel a spark.

Yeah, we were good friends and used to text quite a bit.. now.. nothing..
I'm new to all this dating, so thought it was good idea to date an old friend. 🙂

@Watchkeys

I'd tend to think it doesn't matter, and dump him (in your head) for poor communication. If you can't manage at this stage to be happy with each others' communication style, it's not a goer, is it.

Take charge. It's not all about whether he likes you. He's made you feel insecure within days. That's not your man.

Seriously! If someone feels insecure in their head only the next day after a nice lunch because a person hasn't immediately replied then that needs addressing.

Not a goer you say if not happy at this stage. This 'stage' is less than 24 hours after a date. She texted and he replied.

The date was yesterday??

@UKRAINEwearewithyou

Some people like lots of communication and that's fine. OP needs to meet someone who satisfies her requirements. Not rocket science, and you're not the person who gets to set the boundaries about what OP should want. Many people are in pretty constant communication as soon as they start dating. My partner and I, for example. We're very happy. Are we wrong, to have wanted the same as OP wants? Who is anybody to say?

@Rainagainandagain

Thank you for your replies.. I haven't had a date in years, since I split with my ex.. so kind if new to all this dating in the 2020s..

It's just like it used to be: if you make each others' eyes light up, you keep seeing each other, and if that stops, you stop.

Human feelings haven't evolved that much in a few years.

@Wiredforsound

I think you had lunch with a friend.

Same! If the lack of follow up from him is making you feel this uncomfortable, it's best see him as just a mate and not BF material. Don't chase him whatever you do. Men only value women they have to make an effort for, which is not fair, but it's just a hard fact of the mating game! If a man wants a woman he will be usually clear about it, unless he's a bit of a weak character or manipulator, in which case he should be swerved anyway!

Thank you. My ex and I were the same, communicating a lot. Guess I thought everyone was the same..
Every day is a school day.. 😃

Not ghosted, but neither of you sound very keen to do it again?

Finding someone who does things the same way as you is the trick. So many are trying to understand why their partner does things differently... just find a partner who makes sense and doesn't make you feel a bunch of question marks. Nothing wrong with liking a lot of communication.

He used to text at least once a twice a day before the lunch date, that's why I mentioned it..

Yes that sounds about right..

@Watchkeys

Finding someone who does things the same way as you is the trick. So many are trying to understand why their partner does things differently... just find a partner who makes sense and doesn't make you feel a bunch of question marks. Nothing wrong with liking a lot of communication.

That's for your reply! Really kind of you and sums everything up perfectly. It's all a learning curve..

Was it meant to be a "date" date, or just lunch with your pal?

I mean does he know you thought it was a "date"?

Good thinking!
I haven't texted him at all, usually he texts me as a friend once or twice a day but after the lunch.. nothing!