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Relationships

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Original poster

Should I go on another date if I feel I have been ghosted?

45 replies

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 16:13

I was dating a 37/M for two months - he talked about wanting to go holiday, go slow etc

I seen him two Sundays before he took a trip away. He has not contacted me since except one message yesterday being a video of a harmonica concert. No reply to the message I sent him Wednesday - just short message.

I have written him off at this point and going on another date with a dentist tonight.

I am upset as the last meeting with him seemed fine and then he just sort of vanished. He is back in a couple of weeks.

My question is - Am I really creating bad karma here by not formally ending the situation with the guy who has gone away and going on a first date tonight?

On reflection the time away from the first guy has made me realised he wants to go slow and have most things on his terms. I just feel a bit guilty. Was not sexually active with him.

Mind you on reading and replying to various posts today - I dont think a man would think twice about doing this.

Anyway let me know what you guys think

OP posts:

lemongreentea · 16/03/2022 16:45

yes go on the date with the dentist and dont think twice about the other guy. i dont believe in karma anyway.

bonfireheart · 16/03/2022 16:47

Go on the date.
You and man 1 are not an official item.

bonfireheart · 16/03/2022 16:47

And honestly I would ignore anyone who sent me a clip of a harmonica concert...

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 16/03/2022 16:48

It sounds as though it isn't serious, so I would just keep your options open. See how it goes with the dentist.

iwishu · 16/03/2022 16:55

Just go in the date and don't feel bad, you are not official with him and he hasn't kept up the communication with you, despite being away, he of could tried harder not to lose you so it's his tough luck.
You may or may not like the dentist in person, the other one might try harder when it's back from holiday, just go with the flow and see what works out.

Original poster

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 17:07

@bonfireheart

And honestly I would ignore anyone who sent me a clip of a harmonica concert...

I did. A harmonica concert is hardly a fanny flutter after ten days of silence

OP posts:

WearenotHuman67 · 16/03/2022 17:16

Karma..always kick u in the arse if u are doing anything deceitful.
Sorry Hope u get answers u are looking for

Original poster

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 17:18

@WearenotHuman67

Karma..always kick u in the arse if u are doing anything deceitful. Sorry Hope u get answers u are looking for

You think I should not go?

OP posts:

Northernsoullover · 16/03/2022 17:20

Don't even acknowledge the stupid response OP. You owe the ghost man nothing. There is nothing to end. Enjoy your date.

trackerby · 16/03/2022 17:24

If you haven't had the obligatory 'exclusivity' talk, then you're still a free agent, so is he.

Gonnagetgoing · 16/03/2022 17:27

The ghosting man doesn't care about you (harsh but true) and if you had spoken about being exclusive or it was longer than e.g. 3 months then I'd send him a response. But as most here say you owe him nothing so just go on your date and have fun.

Original poster

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 17:29

@Gonnagetgoing

Totally agree. He doesnt like me, its always a harsh reality to realise but there you go. He started off quite hopeful as well - had booked a second date before the first date. Probably thought that would mean I would sleep with him. Lol. No.

OP posts:

Treacletoots · 16/03/2022 17:30

Ugh. Don't give number 1 any more headspace. You are not a priority to him so don't make him any kind of priority to you.

Personally I would have blocked him already for just being rude, they don't change. Also, always keep at least 3 on the go at any one time so you have alternatives to entertain you should one go the same way as this one. I'm definitely serious too.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/03/2022 17:33

Go on the date. You're not exclusive.

He sounds like a rude bugger anyway, so don't even worry about him at all.

Original poster

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 17:34

@Treacletoots

Ugh. Don't give number 1 any more headspace. You are not a priority to him so don't make him any kind of priority to you.

I have not blocked him - Yet.

OP posts:

Original poster

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 17:34

@Treacletoots

Ugh. Don't give number 1 any more headspace. You are not a priority to him so don't make him any kind of priority to you.

I can never find one decent man - let alone three.

OP posts:

Hopefullyoneday12 · 16/03/2022 17:36

Have fun on your date!
Don't even think about the other guy until you've heard from him and his message is worth reading.

RantyAunty · 16/03/2022 17:36

Block and delete.

Go out with the new guy and line up more dates with others for next week.

Pinkbonbon · 16/03/2022 17:46

He vanished on you, what closure do yoj think you owe him? He's a knob.

Block and delete and onto the next.

HollowTalk · 16/03/2022 17:53

@bonfireheart

And honestly I would ignore anyone who sent me a clip of a harmonica concert...

This!

You're completely free to do whatever you want, OP. Have a great time tonight.

Original poster

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 18:03

He has acted fairly poorly - I dont even have the energy to send him a message to say I am annoyed and he has upset me TBH. I am so exhausted with the calibre of these guys. I told him I was looking for a relationship and would not be having sex until committed relationship - did not get sex so I think it could be something to do with that. He also seemed a bit flabberghasted that I earned more than him. Would not stop bringing up how much ‘freedom’ I had - I dont think twice about my salary.

OP posts:

Sonaftersonafterson · 16/03/2022 18:29

Silence, ignoring your message and then sending you a clip of a harmonica concert?

Nah. Fuck that OP, he is messing about. Go on your dentist date, you have every right to do so x

Cloverforever · 16/03/2022 18:41

You reminded me of a dentist who ghosted me a few years ago.

A while after he disappeared I googled him, and found that he had been struck off just a couple of days after he disappeared. He was also prosecuted by the RSPCA for neglect to his beloved alpacas.

Not sure what my point is other than ghosting is really common, and all types of people do it.

Original poster

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 18:42

@Cloverforever

You reminded me of a dentist who ghosted me a few years ago.

A while after he disappeared I googled him, and found that he had been struck off just a couple of days after he disappeared. He was also prosecuted by the RSPCA for neglect to his beloved alpacas.

Not sure what my point is other than ghosting is really common, and all types of people do it.

Happens all the time. He went home to India on holiday so fuck knows.

OP posts:

Original poster

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 18:45

@Cloverforever

You reminded me of a dentist who ghosted me a few years ago.

A while after he disappeared I googled him, and found that he had been struck off just a couple of days after he disappeared. He was also prosecuted by the RSPCA for neglect to his beloved alpacas.

Not sure what my point is other than ghosting is really common, and all types of people do it.

another one ghosted similarly end of last year A googled him he was declared bankcrupt. Ghosting is unusually anything to do with the person being ghosted

OP posts:

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