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Original poster

Should I go on another date if I feel I have been ghosted?

45 replies

Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 16:13

I was dating a 37/M for two months - he talked about wanting to go holiday, go slow etc

I seen him two Sundays before he took a trip away. He has not contacted me since except one message yesterday being a video of a harmonica concert. No reply to the message I sent him Wednesday - just short message.

I have written him off at this point and going on another date with a dentist tonight.

I am upset as the last meeting with him seemed fine and then he just sort of vanished. He is back in a couple of weeks.

My question is - Am I really creating bad karma here by not formally ending the situation with the guy who has gone away and going on a first date tonight?

On reflection the time away from the first guy has made me realised he wants to go slow and have most things on his terms. I just feel a bit guilty. Was not sexually active with him.

Mind you on reading and replying to various posts today - I dont think a man would think twice about doing this.

Anyway let me know what you guys think

OP posts:
Treacletoots · 16/03/2022 18:49

Oh, now you say. He definitely has an issue that you earn more than him. He will do his best to belittle you over time as his resentment grows. My exH was just like this. I earned twice what he did but he always found a way to point out how he was better, in some way. Misogynistic dick.

Personally I'd take a break from dating and get a dog. They're much better company.

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 18:52

@Treacletoots

Oh, now you say. He definitely has an issue that you earn more than him. He will do his best to belittle you over time as his resentment grows. My exH was just like this. I earned twice what he did but he always found a way to point out how he was better, in some way. Misogynistic dick.

Personally I'd take a break from dating and get a dog. They're much better company.

I have had other guys like this. Its very common. A couple of years ago I dated a guy who told me ‘of course I wont forget you or leave you, I know what your salary is’. Honestly. Like your dog comment and I have to say it is crossing my mind more and more.
OP posts:
Watchkeys · 16/03/2022 19:07

Should I go on another date if I feel I have been ghosted

Have a think about where the 'should's come from in your life. If you 'should' do something, it means there's a higher authority you think you're meant to be heeding to; who is that?

Who would call you out if you 'should' go on another date but don't, and where do they get their power over you from?

elfycat · 16/03/2022 19:07

I was ghosted by a guy (before the term was in general use) and shrugged, went on a few more dates, met the man who would become DH, and then twat1 called up wanting to arrange a date. I laughed and hung up the phone.

Why wait? How long do you want to waste on this man who you barely know and hasn't appeared keen? You might be turning down dates with a really great man while you wait for what exactly?

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 19:17

I am getting ready now with Smooth FM blasting ladies. Did not say anything to Harmonica concert

OP posts:
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 16/03/2022 19:21

I remember your previous post about he hadn't text you when the plane landed. Has he secretly got married or something?

Pinkrose1111 · 16/03/2022 19:25

Hunni keep dating. Even if he didn't ghost you, you are still single and can do whatever you want while single.

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 19:30

@teaandtoastwithmarmite

I remember your previous post about he hadn't text you when the plane landed. Has he secretly got married or something?
I think so. I would not usually be as upset as that about it - I think its woman intuition.
OP posts:
Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 19:55

@teaandtoastwithmarmite

I remember your previous post about he hadn't text you when the plane landed. Has he secretly got married or something?
I will keep you posted if I ever find out. My friend who works with him thinks he has. Xx
OP posts:
Musttryharder2021 · 16/03/2022 20:25

Go and have fun on your other date! In all likelihood the first guy will come back (when his other iron doesn't sir out)

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 16/03/2022 21:15

@Musttryharder2021

Go and have fun on your other date! In all likelihood the first guy will come back (when his other iron doesn't sir out)
Lol I think hes getting married
OP posts:
Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 17/03/2022 00:08

I went on date / thought it went well but at the end of it he said ‘nice meeting you’ - that means no interest doesnt it?

OP posts:
RantyAunty · 17/03/2022 00:42

Well done on going on the date.
Guys are weird so it's hard to say.
It'd be fun to have a marathon of phone calls like telemarketing. Weed through the duds, short date with the interesting ones. Grin

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 17/03/2022 10:40

This one from last night seems to have ghosted me too. No message or follow up even to say he is not interested. I think ‘nice to meet you’ was kiss of death

Ghosted twice in two weeks. Record.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 17/03/2022 10:48

Lol its not even been 12 hours op, give the guy a few days, maybe he's not much into texting.

Though tbf I guess 'nice to meet you' isn't the most promising of date finishes :/

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 17/03/2022 10:52

@Pinkbonbon

Lol its not even been 12 hours op, give the guy a few days, maybe he's not much into texting.

Though tbf I guess 'nice to meet you' isn't the most promising of date finishes :/

I wouldnt be bothered if he had not ended it with that 😂 I would have given him a few days tbh
OP posts:
needingpeace · 17/03/2022 10:53

A lot of these guys on dating sites aren’t even available really

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 17/03/2022 10:56

@needingpeace

A lot of these guys on dating sites aren’t even available really
I agree. They usually have somebody around. Ex, wife, girlfriend. Thats why I never chase after them. Risk of them stringing you along far too high. Its also not hard for him to text me this morning to say he is not interested. I would rather be unmatched than have silence.
OP posts:
Lurking9to5 · 17/03/2022 10:56

No dont bother. Had an experience like this, went on about ten great dates but no communication between the dates and although i sensed i wasnt supposed to communicate m7ch, i reached out occasionally and got no response, so he was in control of the communication. I was just realising what a total charade the whole pantomime was when he broke it off. I was like dont worry, there is no "it".

Original poster
Trippingslippingx1 · 17/03/2022 10:59

@Lurking9to5

No dont bother. Had an experience like this, went on about ten great dates but no communication between the dates and although i sensed i wasnt supposed to communicate m7ch, i reached out occasionally and got no response, so he was in control of the communication. I was just realising what a total charade the whole pantomime was when he broke it off. I was like dont worry, there is no "it".
I too have learned the hard way having similar expierences of pantomimes like this.
OP posts:
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