STBXH being a dick about child maintenance and mortgage

ChoiceMummy · 14/03/2022 19:40

The child maintenance you can do by cms if necessary to try and ensure payment.

The mortgage is a joint debt. However, you cannot make him pay it, so need to be prepared that he may not! However, if you're only paying it, make sure that it totally evidenced. Eg not via joint account where it could be murky if you both are putting money into the account still or both have access to it. If you do that you can at least say that you alone have been paying whatever period when drawing up finsncials.

twinsetandpearl · 14/03/2022 19:40

Strictly speaking yes he has to continue to pay his mortgage commitments however if he doesn't then you are jointly and severally liable meaning you'd have to cover his share or risk the house being repossessed anyway

If he stops paying you can contact your mortgage lender apparently and sometimes they can be lenient and offer revised payment terms until you get yourself sorted.

But in the long term if you can't meet the mortgage payments on your own once your divorce/separation is finalised then you'd be expected to sell the house. Unless he earns hundreds of thousands it's highly unlikely you'd get spousal maintenance and even then it's generally short term until you find a way to live within your means

Bubblesandsqueak1 · 14/03/2022 19:41

www.gulbenkian.co.uk/do-i-have-to-pay-mortgage-and-child-maintenance-payments/

This comes up however he could end up refusing to move out of the home since he legally own 50% of it personally if I was him I would not move out as no way could I afford child maintenance half a morage and to fully fund a second home with space for the kids btw I am female sounds like you are trying to shaft him tbh you need to sell the house and both buy somewhere each with a mortgage ect

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/03/2022 19:41

He may have seen a solicitor too?

Original poster

EdibleGlue · 14/03/2022 19:43

I can cover the mortgage and all the bills without him, I'm not worried about that. I just want him to pay what he owes for our DC. It's their money, not mine

OP posts:

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 14/03/2022 19:44

He is jointly responsible for paying the mortgage if he is named on it but I don’t think there is anyway you can make him pay if he doesn’t want to. If it’s not paid then both of your credit ratings will suffer.
He’s also entitled to live in the house.
Probably not what you wanted to hear.
Obviously go through CSA for child maintenance.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2022 19:44

Um. What if he can't afford to pay a half a mortgage plus cm plus rent and bills in his new residence?

It isn't as simple as this op.

If there isn't enough money in the joint pot then you'll have to sell up and buy 2 smaller properties.

Original poster

EdibleGlue · 14/03/2022 19:45

He can afford it, he just doesn't want to

OP posts:

GreenLunchBox · 14/03/2022 19:45

@Bubblesandsqueak1

www.gulbenkian.co.uk/do-i-have-to-pay-mortgage-and-child-maintenance-payments/

This comes up however he could end up refusing to move out of the home since he legally own 50% of it personally if I was him I would not move out as no way could I afford child maintenance half a morage and to fully fund a second home with space for the kids btw I am female sounds like you are trying to shaft him tbh you need to sell the house and both buy somewhere each with a mortgage ect

What on earth

LemonTT · 14/03/2022 19:45

Well he’s right and he’s wrong. The solicitor advice is also nuanced and might not give you what you want in the long run.

His obligation to you is for child support and that can be claimed regardless of his opinion. Of course if you are sharing care 50:50 it won’t be payable.

The mortgage obligation is to the lender and it depends on the terms of the mortgage. If jointly and severely held then they don’t care if you pay it or he pays it. They will chase both of you.

The problem you have is that he might refuse or be unable to afford the mortgage. In which case you will either have to pay it, default or get a court order forcing him to pay it. Your lawyer will advise on the success of that which is probably dependent on his income.

I think he needs a home where he can be with his children. I think if you want the house to yourself and him out you should pay the mortgage. Unless there are good reasons why you cant.

TeeBee · 14/03/2022 19:48

Well you are both liable for the mortgage but if he is prevented from living there, he can actually charge you occupational rent.

PotteringAlong · 14/03/2022 19:49

He can afford it, he just doesn't want to

Well no, he’s not going to want to pay half of your mortgage and his own bills once he’s moved out.

You need to buy him out, or sell to a third party.

LemonTT · 14/03/2022 19:49

@EdibleGlue

He can afford it, he just doesn't want to

And you said you can afford to pay to live in the house without him. Which means paying the full mortgage.

He shouldn’t have to pay the mortgage and rent. You can afford it. Broach it with him with if you want. But honestly life is too short to battle over this. Child support is his obligation.

Original poster

EdibleGlue · 14/03/2022 19:50

He isn't prevented from living here, he has decided to move out by his own free will, and he also doesnt want more than one night a fortnight with his children! He really isn't worth your sympathy!

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2022 19:52

But what's your long term plan? It's half his house too, he also gets to decide what happens to it, not just you. Is your plan to carry on living there, for as long as you want, with him paying half, then sell up and split profits 50/50? If I were him, I'm not sure I'd agree to this. I'd probably want you to buy me out instead.

Your solicitor fights for your interests, what she's saying isn't 'the law'. His solicitor will fight for his. Then you find a compromise

Casper001 · 14/03/2022 19:53

You seem to be contradicting yourself OP

OnceUponAThread · 14/03/2022 19:53

Apply for child maintenance via the CMS. He's liable and that's easy.

Mortgage less clear cut, particularly since you asked him to leave.

Morally - if you've kicked him out, you should pay it. He needs his share to get his own place, with enough bedrooms for the kids.

Legally - depends on the mortgage, but the likelihood is you're both jointly liable for it.

You can't force him to pay the mortgage though. Missing payments will affect both your credit ratings and in extreme cases the house could be repossessed.

His lawyer will argue that since you're enjoying occupation, you should have to pay it all. Particularly since you say you can afford it. Courts may well agree.

If he does keep paying it - be prepared for him to move back in. He has as much right as you to be there, and may not be able to afford two homes (/ it's unlikely to be in his interests to pay twice).

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 14/03/2022 19:54

@twinsetandpearl

Strictly speaking yes he has to continue to pay his mortgage commitments however if he doesn't then you are jointly and severally liable meaning you'd have to cover his share or risk the house being repossessed anyway

If he stops paying you can contact your mortgage lender apparently and sometimes they can be lenient and offer revised payment terms until you get yourself sorted.

But in the long term if you can't meet the mortgage payments on your own once your divorce/separation is finalised then you'd be expected to sell the house. Unless he earns hundreds of thousands it's highly unlikely you'd get spousal maintenance and even then it's generally short term until you find a way to live within your means

^^ This, you are both jointly and independently liable for the debt.

where there is a mortgage in joint names, both parties are jointly and independently liable for the mortgage payments, regardless of who is occupying the property. In a relationship breakdown situation, if one party leaves the property and stops contributing to the mortgage payments, the lender is entitled to require payments from the remaining party to cover the entire mortgage, and it is not possible for the remaining party to argue that s/he is only liable for a particular share. This is known as 'joint and several liability'

england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_married_joint_homeowners/mortgage_loan_and_maintenance_payments_after_separation

The other thing to consider is that if he has to rent somewhere to live he my not be able to afford both,

OnceUponAThread · 14/03/2022 19:54

@EdibleGlue

He isn't prevented from living here, he has decided to move out by his own free will, and he also doesnt want more than one night a fortnight with his children! He really isn't worth your sympathy!

You seem to be changing your story.

Your OP says: "D'H has finally agreed to move out after initially dragging his feet."

That doesn't sound like he moved out of his own free will, to be honest.

Sassbott · 14/03/2022 20:00

Where are you regards finalising a divorce and with it a financial settlement?

My exh left our then marital home and I paid the mortgage. He paid rent elsewhere. Wouldn’t have occurred to me that I insist he do both. He would have refused and bluntly there was nothing I could do to ‘force’ him and if I hadn’t of paid, it would have affected my credit rating.

Get the financial settlement sorted. Then you’ll know what he’s due to pay vs not

Original poster

EdibleGlue · 14/03/2022 20:01

If you search my name, my previous threads will explain the situation. He has clearly said he doesn't love me but wanted to carry on as normal, sleeping in my bed etc. I have said that isn't acceptable and that I would prefer him to move out. We have the room for him to stay here but he wants in my bed or nothing. He has finally agreed to go but is rented a one bedroom flat and wants the DC (who are little) to sleep on the sofa once a fortnight.
He is extremely financially motivated and only cares about money. I'm trying to protect the children. Our house is cheap and I earn a decent wage, so can cover it, but leaves no spare for the kids to do anything. His half of the mortgage would pay for little treats and nice things that they otherwise would have to give up. They have lost so much already and they are only small, poor lambs

OP posts:

OnceUponAThread · 14/03/2022 20:17

He sounds deeply unpleasant, but it unfortunately doesn't really change the advice.

He's unlikely to agree to pay half the mortgage if he's paying rent elsewhere.

Get your CMS claim in ASAP. That will help you to keep the DC in treats. If he's only seeing them once a fortnight and he earns well, you should get a decent amount.

You could ask your lawyer to apply for interim spousal, or for a court order forcing him to keep paying the mortgage.

Both are lengthy processes, and given you earn a decent salary and can afford to pay the mortgage yourself - probably likely to be expensive and unsuccessful.

JellybeansJelly · 14/03/2022 20:19

No that’s not right OP.

The question of whether he is legally liable for a mortgage is separate to whether he should pay you his half of the mortgage. It’s not his home anymore and ultimately you need to find a way to pay the mortgage on your own, or you move.

Autumn42 · 14/03/2022 20:20

I can see you wouldn’t want to be paying years of mortgage for him then to claim 50/50 equity on the house so you need to get that sorted but otherwise can’t see why he’d otherwise be expected to pay child maintenance and half the mortgage?

SauceGirl · 14/03/2022 20:25

@EdibleGlue
D'H has finally agreed to move out after initially dragging his feet.
he has decided to move out by his own free will.

Not sure those two sentences of yours match up.