Leaving off engagement ring

[Taleas0ldastime]

My fiancee and i are engaged almost a year. We had an argument recently, we didn't see each other for a week but were still in touch although things were strained. She called in Thursday night so we could talk things through and i realized she wasn't wearing her engagement ring. She claimed that she took it off to put hand cream on and forgot to put it back on. I accepted this until she said it had been 2 days previously. She insisted it was a mistake, and thinks I'm overreacting for saying i think it was deliberate and probably a bit manipulative. Could you seriously "forget " to wear your ring for 2 days??

Easily.

Yes, I could forget.

I don't wear mine ever.

Yes , I can't wear mine at work. Often forget if on days off.

Only wear mine at the weekend if i remember 😂 gets in the way. I don't think he's ever noticed tbh 😂

I personally wouldn't, I take it off to shower or put on hand cream or whatever but I always put it straight back on after. If anything though I'm the anomaly judging from these comments

Red flag, be prepared.

Fixating on this is classic avoidance of the real issues. Stop it.

Yes easily, but it's also ok to take the ring off if you're struggling. Some people find symbols emotionally triggering

Her body, her choice.

If she’s been dishonest about her reasons for taking a break from wearing it, fair enough, since you’re unreasonable to go on about it!

Do you yourself wear an engagement ring at all times, or indeed at all?

‘I accepted this’

It’s not your place to ‘accept’ her choices about what to wear or not wear.

Yes of course you can. I take mine off all the time for work (food hygiene requirements), exercise, moisturising hands, cooking, and sometimes in the bath. I have left both my wedding and engagement rings off for several days at a time on a few occasions over the years. However, it is also possible she took it off because she was hurt and upset and didn’t want to keep looking at it - that doesn’t necessarily mean she was checking out of the relationship though.

I don't wear my wedding ring constantly. If we've had a row and he's really pissed me off then I don't wear it that day

I wore my wedding ring every day for 16 years, felt lost without it. A new Career meant I could no longer wear rings at work so I had to take it off before work and put it on when I got home.
I’ve been at the job 5 years now and I forget to put my ring in so many times it’s off more than it’s on!

However, only you know your partner well enough to know if it’s deliberate and manipulative.

Who knows. Maybe she is indicating 'hey, you need to work hard at this or I'm not marrying you'. Thats fair enough though surely? And leaving the ring off is to make it clear she is serious that this is your last chance to come to a consensus or she is prepared to walk

If you feel its 'manipulative' - don't marry her. Why would you ever be with someone who you even suspect could EVER be manipulative? That either means she is or that you have trust issues you need to work through and are not in a suitable place to be in a relationship right now.

I never take my rings off (I don't use creams or anything on my hands)... however I do know of loads of people that do and are always forgetting to put them back on , my DH takes his wedding ring off for sports and sometimes will forget to put it back on

I never wear my engagement ring or wedding ring

Thanks for the replies, quite a mixture. For context I'm also f and have an engagement ring. I take it off to shower, clean and for work but put it back on immediately afterwards. She has always done the same until now, thats what makes me think it was deliberately related to the argument/situation.
The reason i mention manipulation is that sometimes if we disagree over something she will say something like "well if thats how you feel then there's probably no.point continuing with the relationship". She knows I'll usually nack down and she will het her own way.
@Loopytiles totally didn't mean that the way it sounded...i suppose i meamt the explanation made sense to me. I actually dont mind whether she wears a ring or not...its just in this particular context it felt like she was saying that if o didnt ahree with what she was saying that she was willing to leave tje ring off to make a point.
Maybe I'm just being insecure and overthinking it. I was in a really abusive marriage where everything was about power and control so i don't always know how to seperate whats normal nehaviour. I habe my counsellor next week so will talk it through but wanted to get a sense of wjat others think first.

Oh sooo mamy typos...apologies.

I’m wearing neither my engagement or wedding ring at the moment , my DH doesn’t care

That’s a drip feed about her past threats to end the relationship, but if that’s happened it’s a red flag.

Wouldn’t marry someone who repeatedly did that.

I took my engagement ring, wedding ring and eternity ring off 2 years ago because of all the covid washing and have not put them back on since.

But it is easy to take them off and then move onto other things and not get around to putting them back on sometimes.

But from the other stuff you have said it does not sound like a healthy relationship generally. It might be that she is controlling or she might have a fight or flight reaction to arguments which you can work through to get to a better place. I hope it works out either way.

Tbf though op, if I had a fight and didn't speak with my partner for a week, I'd assume it was over. There's really no excuse to wait a week between an argument and resolving it.

Unless maybe they've said 'I need time to think. Let's take a break for a while'. In which case, I still wouldn't expect them to be wearing their engagement ring again until that kind of argument/situation was resolved.

*sorry I see you did speak just didn't meet to resolve the argument for a week

@SpringBeavers i think youre right, i think she might be insecure and her immediate reaction when theres any sort of disagreement is to kind of get in first and threaten to end it as a self protection thing so i don't do it to her.