My 14 year old niece and sex

[dancemusicsexromance]

My niece is 14 she's got ASD and ADHD
Me and my sister have a slightly fragile relationship as my son who is older and my daughter who is 10 years older have taken the scenic route through life. And not been text book kids. My sister has told me on many occasions it's parents who damage their kids.

My sister is extremely overweight and she's not wanted her children to be this way so she put them on strict diets from 4/5 years called them names, spent hundreds a month on clothes and designer things for them and they have a lovely life my sister would never ever do anything on purpose to hurt her girls but I think she projected a lot from her childhood - they are amazing girls and do well at school are polite and I adore them. I know their parents love them whether they are right or wrong.
My oldest niece (19) is stunning but 600 cals a day for 2 years, gym twice a day and looking underweight (about 6.5 stone and 5'3") but their looks are their benchmark - it's horrible really.

My youngest niece is 14 - not as slim, always been the "less attractive child" according to my sister not anyone else -
I have found out tonight that my youngest niece is being passed around for sex - not a boyfriend but for compliments, for attention and for fun.

As I say i don't have a great relationship with my sister but I would want to know.

My own kids who told me have said if I tell her mum i am opening her up for abuse (from her parents) but I can't do nothing can I?

She's a child and vulnerable

If I told my sister would this help?
Or would I be making things worse?

This is not malicious I adore my nieces I really do. My daughter had sex at 15 and I made sure she was safe and she was emotionally safe.

I wish I could just talk to my sister and I wish I could hug my niece.

You've done the right thing

Of course you should tell your sister?! If this is even a question? I cannot believe your asking this. This is your niece!

@Bringinglightandpeace

Of course you should tell your sister?! If this is even a question? I cannot believe your asking this. This is your niece!

This isn't that simple though - her sister is abusive to both nieces. I agree with others that OP needs expert advice her so should call NSPCC and / or police. I would also report to the safeguarding lead at her school.

This poor girl 😞

Agree. Just because they look pretty doesn't mean they've not been subjected to emotional abuse and neglect comes in many forms including not feeding them enough.
Your youngest neice bring asd and having sex is very worrying, how has she even been allowed to get in this situation? 14 is nothing? She's a vulnerable young person why has she not been safeguarded by her mother??
I would talk to her first it is also for her to go to the police, it may ruin your relationship if you do it without speaking to her.

I've read your other comments now and agree pointless trying to speak to your sister.
Well done. X

I understand peoples concern and are wondering why I would even hesitate to speak to my sister.

She wouldn't believe me!!
The emphasis then would be on me casing trouble.

It's a learned behaviour I can't explain it well. But her anger would be turned onto me.
My daughter has said things would possibly be worse for my niece.

I've reported what I know.
I will follow up with the school.
I will make sure she knows that I'm here and her cousins will do the same.

They are the loveliest girls in the world, I do not want to damage my relationship with them.

@Theoscargoesto

Exactly this thank you - you have said it better than I ever could. This is exactly how I feel things could go.

[quote dancemusicsexromance]@CandyLeBonBon

I have been left out of my family i have also been abused

My mum and dad split up and I was called to a family meeting and was told I had to make a choice it was either my mum or dad if I chose ky dad i would not be included with the family
I asked my mum 9 years ago why she appeared to dislike me so much - she replied I don't know I just do.

My sister told me the day after I had my son my face repulsed her.

I am trying to keep things healthy for my nieces now.

I'm not going to knee jerk now and alienate my nieces further

I found this out 2 hours ago and I (because of my own abuse) wanted to ask on here.

I am going to do what ever I need to do. I adore my nieces but I want to tread carefully also. Please understand that. [/quote]
Please know I wasn't being critical of you at all - I was suggesting that because of your family dynamic and the toxicity you've endured, it's sometimes difficult to see things as clearly as someone who has been raised in an emotionally healthy family. It can skew our perception of what's normal, and acceptable.

I know you're trying to do the right thing. It sounds like and awful situation and I feel for you and your nieces. Well done for taking the action you have. I really wish you luck

Any update on your situation? I Hope it hasn't been too stressful for you. X