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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

do you ever worry about dcs hearing you at it?

31 replies

hatwoman · 04/01/2008 20:38

dds' room is right next to ours and as they get older I've started to wonder...not worry, as such, but wonder if I should...

OP posts:

moondog · 04/01/2008 20:38

at what????

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 04/01/2008 20:39

Yes - but mine are teens and would either die of shock or laugh their heads off.

Proper puts you off your stride so to speak.

emkana · 04/01/2008 20:40

I can remember hearing my parents and I hated hated hated it. So yes I would worry.

Even though someone will probably come along in a minute and say that it's healthy for children to know that their parents have an active sex life.

moondog · 04/01/2008 20:41

Oh God Emkana. How awful!

Original poster

hatwoman · 04/01/2008 20:43

eeew. teens. I'm going celibate for 5 years when they hit 13. either that or I'm going to get into some weird motionless noiseless stuff that you probably have to learn with a bunch of hippies in a manor house in Shropshire.

OP posts:

Shitemum · 04/01/2008 20:47

Insulate the adjoining wall? Oil your bed-springs? Gag your DH?....I'll stop there...

ChasingSquirrels · 04/01/2008 20:49

no, I remember hearing my parents as a teen, and wasn't bothered at all.

LoveMyGirls · 04/01/2008 20:50

I'm wondering how I will cope, I'll probably have to set the alarm for 4am or wait until they go out!

I'm planning on having a house with a garage I can convert into a chill out room for them to have sleepovers etc so maybe i'll only do it on the nights they sleep in there! (This was the solution I came up with when someone mentioned my kids having boyfriends over I don't want them in the main bit of the house with their boyfriends because i would be even more mortified to hear my children at it!!! Did think about not letting them have bf's to stay but dp said he would rather they were safe in the house doing it than in a bush.....)

moondog · 04/01/2008 20:51

My friend has 4 kids and telles us al lthat she goes into the garage for a shag as she can't bear the thouht of her kids hearing her.

LoveMyGirls · 04/01/2008 20:54

Not a bad idea MD perhaps if i put my bedroom in the garage the kids can have the rest of the house!

shreksmissus · 04/01/2008 20:57

Message withdrawn

Maidamess · 04/01/2008 20:59

Maybe you should go tantric which is just....put it in and fall asleep, non?

MuthaHubbard · 04/01/2008 23:09

I remember walking in on my parents at it a couple of times (our bathroom was through the main bedroom).

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 04/01/2008 23:14

Fit a catch on your living room door and do it on the floor where nothing can squeak.

Well, except you I suppose!

wessexgirl · 04/01/2008 23:17

Oh, emkana, same here; I was 10/11 and I actually debated whether to go in and intervene because it sounded as if my mother was in so much pain!

Bearing that in mind, everything happens downstairs here.

FatBellyJones · 05/01/2008 01:12

I've got two teens and hadn't really thought about til one day when they were all out so dp and I indulged in some afternoon delights... when we finished.. a disgusted voice called up the stairs.. "I heard everything" - gits had come home early!! After some embarassed giggling from me and a red face from dp, some teasing from the kids, it's all fine

amytheearwaxbanisher · 05/01/2008 01:19

i used to hear my parents at "it" every sunday morning untill i moved out never did me any harm [rocks back and forth]

MAMAZON · 05/01/2008 01:23

there were 9 children concieved whilst i was in the house....never ever heard a thing.

either dad was like the SAS or i slept really deeply.

either way i am bloody glad

MrsKittylette · 05/01/2008 01:23

I remeber hearing my parents at it and was a bit 'eww' but never bothered me,

I always used to hear MIL when I stayed at DHs house when we were young! We used to just laugh and she would say the next morning it was revenge for having to listen to us!! lol

She used to bang on the door and say 'I don't want to hear you moaning Adam!'

But i think its best to be that way, I really do.

When the kids are old enough to know whats going on the can put their ipods on!

Peridot30 · 05/01/2008 01:24

At the moment i dont worry as they are still young and we can just say we are having a cuddle but i do worry when they are older.

Can still remember dh's brother catching us out manya time when dh lived at home. HAd to put a catch on the bedroom door

discoverlife · 05/01/2008 02:10

DD (now 20) once mentioned to us that she had been talking to her friends, and one of them was telling them all in great detail and disgust that she heard her parents doing it, and how disgusted she was that old people still have sex. My DD couldn't understand her friends viewpoint at all. She even pointed out to them all that she knows we still have an active sex life (well as active as circumstance allow), so her friends asked how could she know? So she mentioned 3 things

finding the vibrator in the sink, where I wash washing it when the postie came to the door and I totally forgot it. (Was I red at that one)
Coming for a visit one day and finding us on the lawn going like rabbits
Hearing us through the walls for years.

Her friends have never looked at us in the same light again, especially as DH uses a mobility scooter when in town. It just doesn't compute for teenagers/ young adults does it?

LoveMyGirls · 05/01/2008 08:54

PMSL DL!!! Fancy catching you at it on the lawn!

bealcain · 05/01/2008 09:02

haven't read whole thread. i can clearly remember hearing my parents having sex on numerous occassions, it bothered me to begin with, but then when i left home and moved in my DP i kinda realised why they were like it. i dont worry about the kids hearing atm as they are still young, but even if they caught us at iti wouldn't be phased. they dont understand what is it, they'll take from it as much as they do understand. i've been reading a book where the parents discuss and do everything in front of the children and it's because they dont understand anything on an adult level until they're adults, it also shows them how they're supposed to behave as they get older. we have to remember that they're children not adults for quite a long time.

having said this i'm not sure how i'll feel when they're teenagers, maybe i'll jsut have to learn to be quiet!

i've got a story though......

about 3/4 christmases ago i was living at home with mum and dad and we'd been chridtmas shopping, i went into their room to take some of the bags up and heard this really strange room, i tracked the noise to my dads bottom drawer. a dildo had been left on!! i went straight downstairs and said to mum 'i've just turned your vibrator off' and she said (with no embarrassment) 'thanks love, we dont want the batteries running out do we?'

GeekgirlRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 05/01/2008 09:05

like emkana I used to hear my parents and utterly loathed it, but then they were quite indiscreet and very noisy .
Slept with home-made earplugs for years

So yes, we are very careful to only have sex if the children are asleep, and we also keep noise levels down.

discoverlife · 05/01/2008 10:32

DS2 10yo had a 'moment' over New Year as we told him that DD 20yo had split up with her BF but that they would stay friends.
So he said 'that means they are still going out together' no said I, 'it means they won't be having sex anymore'.
' and * had sex? 'when?'
(straight to the point my boy), 'when they stayed here or when *** went to her place'
'You mean they were doing it and making all those "insert porn star gasping sounds" noises'
'Well, maybe' says I, 'I didn't hear them'.
'Oh Drat I should have stayed awake to listen to them' said in a scientific experiment voice.
Then about half an hour later he announces to DH that DD is going to have a baby! The look on his face was priceless, wish I had had my camera.
So we had to do the old question and answer bit. It turns out that he understood that sex meant babies, but he obviously thought it was everytime.

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