He left me

[Pedra]

I need some words of advice really my partner and I had not been speaking the last few days I had fallen out with him over things related to his ex partner who's caused us so much hassle but that's another story I found out he had messaged her after he promised me he wouldn't anyway we have a 6 month old baby and I e slept downstairs last few nights he's not spoke to me or me him but earlier on he sent me a email while upstairs saying he didn't feel the same about me any more and didn't want to be with me he said he was trying to arrange somewhere to go . I was shocked and upset he said he didn't love me truthfully I'm heart broken he's left now a few hours ago I just got a message to say he wished he never met me .

Let him go. If he doesn't respect you by messaging his ex then you don't need him. He should be ashamed of himself especially now that you have a baby.

Don’t respond. Just go silent. He’s looking to provoke you. If you go totally silent that speaks more volume

@needingpeace

Don’t respond. Just go silent. He’s looking to provoke you. If you go totally silent that speaks more volume

This.

How are you fixed practically are you married, renting or mortgage.

You need to start getting things together to protect yourself financially.

Sorry you’re having to deal with this 💐

He sounds incredibly immature. I agree with the keeping your dignity and remaining silent approach. Do not beg him to come back or demean yourself in any way after his appalling behaviour. If what he says is true then although you will be very hurt and upset, it’s better that your relationship finishes now. Or, he’s just acting like a petulant child and saying the worst he can to try to get a reaction out of you and make you grovel. Sounds like he needs to grow up a bit and realise his responsibilities. Be strong if you can; I’m so sorry you’re going through all this with a baby to look after.

Awwww, poor you. How very terrible. You must be devastated. Have you got immediate emotional support?

💐💐💐

As someone who's boyfriend has continued to communicate with an ex I understand. I've also experienced alot of upset and stress due to their friendship. They have no ties such as children. Their friendship included her telling him she didn't trust women and that I wasn't right for him. But he said she would react that way about any woman he was with. I nearly ended our relationship a few months in. Once we got going out properly she suddenly was hinting at a reunion.

From what you've said he's likely carrying some old emotions. He still has one foot in the past. That's never going to work if he's not dealt with that before meeting you. My boyfriend is in councilling now and I'm hoping it sorts his head out.

I know you are feeling raw pain and shock right now. Its painful. But you can't control his feelings. At the same time none of this is your fault. You are still a wonderful person who deserves a solid relationship where you don't feel second to the ex. He needs to sort himself out and you need to make sure you don't blame yourself for this.

Try and keep busy. See friends. Vent on here. It will get easier. You'll probably feel relieved in q few weeks. Maybe a break might make him see things differently.

Sending a hug

Thanks for your replies I'm having weak then stong moments like this morning I messaged him to see if he was ok and where he had gone all I got back was please stop contacting me. Then few hours later he texts asking me to send a picture of something I have on my phone I just replied as you said to me stop contacting me haven't heard a thing since.
I just feel sad like the relationship was a lie . The other day we were looking at houses online as we where speaking of moving this year then the other night in bed he held my hand told me he loved me all that's playing in my mind obviously he doesn't to have hurt me like this . I've not told anyone yet can't face it or talk about it just yet xxx

Fuck him off and focus on you and your baby going forward.

He sounds immature and attention seeking.

Sorry OP but you really don’t need that sort of aggro in your life, especially with a small baby!

Thanks I know your right . I just wish I could fast forward a few weeks till i didn't feel like this . Xxx

Seeing as you don't mention it. Does he have a child with his ex?

Take it easy, if it’s not too bad weather wrap baby up and head out for a walk, even if it just around the block.

Are you renting? I’m assuming not married? I find sorting out the practicalities helped me after a breakup.

I'm so sorry OP.

FWIW I split up with my sons dad when he was 6 months old, he's now 9 and the light of my life. It hasn't been easy but it has definitely been worth it.

Stay strong with the NC unless it's regarding visits to your child.

He sounds nasty op.
You're well shot of him. Read up on the grey rock technique. It might make coparenting with this dickhead easier. Be kind to yourself. Maybe treat yourself to something you enjoy. Manicure/new dress/netflix binge whatever...

Hi he does have a child with his ex who she hasnt let him see since he's been with me. It's a long story but she's a nasty person she's done so much to us . I got endless texts and calls from her when she found out about me threats the lot she just kept getting new numbers to do so . Then when I was pregnant she would send me voice notes says moo who's the daddy and you should have took those pills and let that thing come away from you while you can etc she called sw on me while pregnant said I drank and took drugs to which I've neither took any they dismissed her and told us to not contact her as she was dangerous and then He was messaging her up to his son bday7 asking to see him or speak to him etc he emailed her like 6 times she sent the police to him and got him charged with harrasment for unwanted contact it's so long the story but he kept saying to me she just wanted the lifestyle he gave her so last month to get piece from her he let her have his house so she's staying there while he pays this is why I'm so upset he said to me if we gave her what she wanted it meant we get to move on and have a life together without her interference .

So sorry for your pain! To be fair, it sounds like you are well shot of the both of them! Yes it will be damn hard for a while, especially with a baby to care for. But play the long game, in 6 months/ a year / 5 years from now you will be in a better place and look back on this and think "thank fuck I got out of that" 💐

He has now said he doesn't want to see our daughter as his ex is letting him see his son now he's not with me and she's gave him the choice of their child or ours so he's made his choice he had the cheek to put at the end of it she will still get money sent every month same as him what a nasty horrible person to walk out on our baby .
So upset right now .xxx

What a dick! They sound perfect for each other! You and your DD deserve a shit ton better than this waste of a man x

Thanks for replying I know it's not right the way he's been treating me or how the ex has always took priority like the house etc and can't upset her but didn't matter what they did to me.
All I've had off him and her is abuse and him saying I'm a screwball for not been happy about they way they talk after all she's done to us .
Definatly just focus on my daughter now it's his loss xxx

Sounds like he was maybe in touch with her winding her up all along. Police don't charge people eith harassment for just asking the other person to leave them alone. He was harassing her. Not to say she wasnt also harassing you of course.

They both sound scummy.
Tbh the further he is from your daughter, the better.

Do the freedom programme online if you get a chance. You need to shore up your boundaries against him.

Is there someone you trust that you can confide in fir some real life support.

This is am incredibly difficult time and it's natural you are going through a multitude of emotions.

He is weak. He has dropped this on you at a time when you are clearly vulnerable. You and your baby did not deserve this.

Feel your feelings, and please get some support for yourself. You have done nothing wrong but have trust and faith in a man that has let you both down. Take care x

Yeah everytime if we had a fall out he would call her and tell her and she would come up to his house with their son to spent time then she would send me pictures of them calling me all sorts of degrading things saying he was settling for me etc I was stupid to take him back but I was pregnant at the time and scared of being alone xxx

I will tell my family soon just need a few days to get myself stronger . Feel like a teary mess the now I keep looking at our daughter and thinking how could he do this and how little he must see us compared to his ex and child to her I feel utterly worthless . Xxx

He is one huge huge t o s s e r

Let him go and tell your family and friends. Let them look after you. You'll never feel the same. Don't beg. Send him a message and say that's absolutely fine now stop contacting me.

What kind of dad chooses one child over the other? He is an abusive idiot.

Sounds like both women in this scenario need to dump him.

There really are better men than this.

He's continually playing you off against one another, this cycle will never end until you stop playing the game.

I hate men like this.

How are you financially.

Make sure you check the house is now in your name, mortgage or rental, and if renting I’d be tempted to move and make sure you don’t let either of them get a forwarding address.

How awful picking children. You and your daughter are better off without him!