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Original poster

Propose abroad or locally

58 replies

Rocktheboat56 · 09/03/2022 19:51

I think this is the year to propose to my partner. I planned to do it abroad but debating whether this is important or not. I guess either way it will be magical. Just wondered what others think? I've discussed it with him and he says he's not overly concerned about where it is. I just think there are some beautiful destinations out there and it may make it more rememorable.

OP posts:

Tippexy · 10/03/2022 12:12

I've discussed it with him and he says he's not overly concerned about where it is.

You're already engaged...

GreyCarpet · 10/03/2022 13:20

My ex husband proposed in the back garden.

I got he from.work late, he'd made my favourite dinner and then had created a little path with the lights in the back garden to a point where he's got a bottle of champagne and the ring.

It was perfect for me.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 10/03/2022 14:44

@GreyCarpet

My ex husband proposed in the back garden.

I got he from.work late, he'd made my favourite dinner and then had created a little path with the lights in the back garden to a point where he's got a bottle of champagne and the ring.

It was perfect for me.

That's very very cute ❤️❤️❤️

CrumpetStrumpet · 10/03/2022 14:54

Assuming you're a M/F couple then niether. He should be doing the proposing. Why isn't he?

Hoppinggreen · 10/03/2022 14:57

@Tippexy

I've discussed it with him and he says he's not overly concerned about where it is.

You're already engaged...

Yep If it’s been discussed and agreed then I’m slightly confused as to what else is needed I suppose in such cases it’s more of a Ring presentation than a proposal, which is quite sweet really

Hoppinggreen · 10/03/2022 14:58

@CrumpetStrumpet

Assuming you're a M/F couple then niether. He should be doing the proposing. Why isn't he?

Why?? Do you also think he (if there is a He) should ask her Dads permission too?

sunlovingcriminal · 10/03/2022 15:03

@CrumpetStrumpet

Assuming you're a M/F couple then niether. He should be doing the proposing. Why isn't he?

Eh? Why?

@CrumpetStrumpet ... I've got a call for you from the 1950s, they say that you seem to be missing from your correct decade!

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/03/2022 15:05

You’re already technically engaged, so why not do the ring presentation somewhere that means something you to both and where you go often? I think if you go abroad knowing that you’re looking for “the” place, you’re going to spend a lot of time searching for perfect, always feeling that the next spot might be more perfect, and not wanting to “waste” it in case you haven’t found perfect yet and it’s just around the corner. It will take all the joy out of the whole event.

DP proposed on top of a mountain in the Peak District in the driving rain, during a weather warning, in front of 15 of our friends, whilst I was wearing a cagoule and a (sodden) furry hat with ears. I thought he’d fallen over when he was there at my feet and asked him what the fuck he was doing. He’d been hoping for a gorgeous sunset and secluded country spot whilst we were away but then when the weather was set to be shit all weekend he just thought “fuck it” and went with what we had. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

BurnDownTheDiscoHangTheDJ · 10/03/2022 15:05

@Woollystockings

I don’t understand why you need to plan it, and the idea that you have discussed it beforehand is weird, to me. All a year in advance? If you’ve both discussed the proposal, surely that means you are already engaged now - you’ve agreed to get married. So, you’re engaged now and you should be planning the wedding, not planning the proposal.

I thought this. Like, when I think of a proposal it’s a full-on surprise, a shock almost (not that I’d want this!) whereas surely you’re engaged now @Rocktheboat56 and are just going to do some ritual thing to “ask” but you know what the answer is?

I’m not pouring scorn on anyones idea of a romantic time, it just seems illogical to me. But me and my now husband just decided to book the registry office after walking past it and having a conversation where we agreed we would like to get married. Maybe I’m just not a romantic soul.

thisplaceisweird · 10/03/2022 15:09

@TristesseDurera

You already shared a home, children and pets but you were amazed that he was willing to commit to you?

The engagement and the proposal are vastly different things.

I'm one of those that thinks the engagement should be a calm, sensible, sober conversation.
The proposal can be whatever you want - if that means going all out, doing a big romantic surprise, go for it, if it's going to a jeweler and choosing something together, great, if it's watching EastEnders at home, that's lovely too.

MissBattleaxe · 10/03/2022 15:13

The proposal is between the two of you and nobody else's opinion matters. Wishing you years of happiness!

user1493494961 · 10/03/2022 15:20

If you've already discussed it with him, why do you need a big performance? Just agree a date.

Woollystockings · 10/03/2022 15:30

Even if you want a performance with the proposal, surely it doesn’t need a year to organise. You’re just wasting time, I think. I’d assume you/he doesn’t actually want to get married. Anyway, I’d go somewhere nice where you can easily look back at the moment- somewhere in the U.K. and probably local.

AubadeIsIt · 10/03/2022 18:39

@TristesseDurera

You already shared a home, children and pets but you were amazed that he was willing to commit to you?

Eww.

TristesseDurera · 10/03/2022 19:48

@thisplaceisweird

The engagement and the proposal are vastly different things.

I'm one of those that thinks the engagement should be a calm, sensible, sober conversation.
&The proposal can be whatever you want - if that means going all out, doing a big romantic surprise, go for it, if it's going to a jeweler and choosing something together, great, if it's watching EastEnders at home, that's lovely too*

What do you think a "proposal" is, in this context?

Obviously the word in general just means suggesting a future action. What do you think it means here? A proposal to do what?

thisplaceisweird · 10/03/2022 20:38

@TristesseDurera you really don't understand the difference between discussing/agreeing on being engaged and then the act of proposing?

Curlywurlyontoast · 10/03/2022 20:43

Why did you discuss it first?

TristesseDurera · 10/03/2022 20:52

[quote thisplaceisweird]@TristesseDurera you really don't understand the difference between discussing/agreeing on being engaged and then the act of proposing?[/quote]
What do you think 'proposing' means?

That was the question. Proposing what?

thisplaceisweird · 10/03/2022 20:55

@TristesseDurera not enjoying your condescending tone you miserable woman. It's clear what my post means.

Legoisthebest · 10/03/2022 21:01

I'm another one thinking that if you've discussed it already doesn't that mean you are engaged already?
As a small child might say..."I don't get it".

Legoisthebest · 10/03/2022 21:04

Although I didn't even bother with an engagement ring. Not something I would ever wear so what was the point (I do have a basic wedding ring though).

TristesseDurera · 10/03/2022 21:06

[quote thisplaceisweird]@TristesseDurera not enjoying your condescending tone you miserable woman. It's clear what my post means.[/quote]
There's no condescension. It's a question. What do you think proposing means? Proposing what?

merryhouse · 10/03/2022 21:14

[quote thisplaceisweird]@TristesseDurera you really don't understand the difference between discussing/agreeing on being engaged and then the act of proposing?[/quote]
No, I don't.

A proposal is a suggestion of marriage, which the other person agrees to or not.

But then, I'm 52. Back in my day it was perfectly normal to be engaged for less than a year, and married 3 years after you first met; and at least in my circles you got married before having a baby, and it wasn't at all unusual to move in together at the same time as either marriage or engagement.

SkinnyChaiLatte · 11/03/2022 09:05

A proposal, by definition, means to make a suggestion of something doesn't it? The OP has already discussed marriage and agreed that is what they want therefore a proposal has already been made. Do people now have to propose a proposal? Ridiculous.

OldTinHat · 11/03/2022 10:24

As one who has been married twice and had a few proposals along the way (happily single now!), the most romantic one was when I was out shopping with XH no.1 and he suddenly stopped dead in the middle of the High Street, started crying and said there was something he desperately wanted to do but didn't have the money. I absolutely didn't see it coming but turns out he wanted to propose but he couldn't afford a ring. Tbf he was only 20 at the time.

That was the only time I ever saw him in tears. He didn't cry when our baby died but apparently did to his mum the day he came home to an empty house and divorce papers!

But that jolly story aside OP, if your partner is expecting a proposal, be unexpected and propose somewhere ordinary which will be all the more memorable for it. Don't go all out, make it intimate. Love the Eastenders story, that's just beautiful! Good luck, come back and let us know ❤

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