Spousal maintenance??

[JMEN04]

Hello, I am in a situation where I what to leave my husband but I don't have anywhere to go in order to leave. We also have a small child to consider and with the cost of childcare, I'm working part time, I am financially reliant on my husband.
I've read about spousal maintenance? Has anyone had any experience of how this works?
Essentially, I would need him to cover the essential bills on our property which is owned in his name (however we are married nearly 7 years, together 9) for at least 18 months when our child would start primary school and I can increase my hours to afford a place of my own.
Is this reasonable? He would probably have to move back in with his parents to enable this to happen.
Alternatively, I could leave the family home if I was supported with the initial set up of a rental property. Could this been spousal maintenance?
I could then apply for appropriate financial support to help with bills and therefor be financially independent from my husband (with the exception of our child).
Thanks

Have you asked him what he wants to do ?
The house would probably have to be sold to give you both a home .

I haven't spoken to him as yet. I want to get as many facts as possible so I have options to present to him. It's a challenging relationship, quite manipulative so me gathering info first makes me feel more confident going into such a conversation.

@JMEN04 this seems all about what you want, I feel so sorry for this guy :(

Unless he provides this willingly then you will likely only be entitled to fifty percent of marital assets and child maintenance.

Equity on the house is going to be a discussion if he owned it befor you and you’ve only been married six years.

You need to get a free chat with a family solicitor.

I don't know your complete situation but a friend of mine separated as her husband had an affair. She wanted to stay with her kids in the family home. She was advised unless he offers for her to remain in the house she would either need to buy him out or the house would need to be sold. He was a higher than average earner 100k per year and she didn't get spousal maintance. He gave her CSA plus they spilt uniform and other big expenses.

Spousal maintenance would be ordered by the court
If he doesn’t want to play ball in the interim, you can’t force him to pay it before the court date, so you would have to work out an alternative plan to fund things

Forcing him to move in with his parents while working full time, so you can carry on living in the family home and working part time doesn’t sound very reasonable though, sorry

Also I'm guessing spousal maintenance is for an actual spouse. He'll divorce you I imagine

Spousal maintenance is incredibly rare. I wouldn't be betting on receiving it - the Courts are much more on favour of a clean break.

You will need to cut your cloth according to what you can afford. Child maintenance would be due if he didn't apply for an receive 50% custody which is fast becoming the start point in custody cases, dependent on age of children.

I would imagine you’ll be expected to put the child in nursery and work.

So how do people leave unhappy, controlling and sometimes volatile relationships? I have a child, I have to consider their well-being/security. It's financially impossible for me to manage on my own, I've considered every option I can think of. And I honestly have nowhere else to go, no family. So I really haven't come to this decision lightly.

But the cost of childcare and housing in the area where I live makes this impossible. I could move "back home" which is about 2 hours away and much cheaper but then I'm taking child away from his dad and I really don't want that

You save some money, you look at what benefits you’re entitled to, you look at upping your hours at work…

If you leave, your life is going to change a lot, and you’re going to have to get used to a huge juggle with home and work and parenting

It’s not just a case of kicking him out and expecting him to fund everything so your life carries on unchanged

You'll probably have to sell the house.

I don't think spousal maintenance is a thing anymore.

My exDH paid his 1st ExW spousal for several years (court ordered in 2006) when he was a banker making hundreds of thousands a year.

@JMEN04

But the cost of childcare and housing in the area where I live makes this impossible. I could move "back home" which is about 2 hours away and much cheaper but then I'm taking child away from his dad and I really don't want that

This is what people do. Move somewhere cheaper.

Or stay together and be unhappy. There is no right or wrong here.

Spousal maintenance is most common these days where there is little in the way of assets to be sold off to provide cash/ housing—but there is still relatively high income from the person who would pay it and the other partner is in a disadvantaged position to earn enough to support themselves — ie older , or long term illness or worked alongside partner etc. It’s not that common these days , because this set of circumstances isn’t that common and there are usually either decent assets to sell OR relatively poor income.

How much does your husband earn?

I do all the home and parenting and work already, my life will be easier in all aspects except that it's financially impossible for me to remain the the area that we are currently living.
Would it be reasonable to ask for half our savings? I don't want the house, I just need to leave the relationship. I don't have access to our savings but technically Otis joint. Seriously, though...how do people leave? I currently am able to save £59 per month as very best. It will take me years to save enough to move out.

Check your eligibility for benefits - you may be entitled to help with childcare costs and some top up to your wages. If you need to rent you may be able to get some help there. It depends on your income. You will definitely be entitled to child maintenance- use the CMS calculator to work out how much.
And see a solicitor for advice.

If you end the marriage you can't expect nothing to change in terms of how much money he provides to support you.

If you work set days child you arrange for his contact days to be those days? Then he would be able to look after the child while you work. Or pay for the childcare on "his" days.

You might just have to struggle through 18 months.

Why don’t you have access to your joint savings ?

I get spousal maintenance. I thought it was completely normal, it's just mumsnet that says it isn't. It's worked out on needs. What do you need in order to have your child, and what does he need to have your child. Your proposal that you get everything you need and he gets to sleep at his parents isn't very fair is it? If there's enough money in the pot for you to keep the house, and to house him; you might be able to keep it. But if there's not, you'll need to sell up and buy 2 x smaller. The reality is it costs more ti run two houses, so I'd look to work full time if I were you. Even minimum wage is more than childcare costs.

I don't have access to our savings but technically Otis joint What does this mean is it actually in joint names?

It's very very unlikely that you will get what you are hoping for. In general after a short marriage a clean break is considered best so 50% of the equity in your home and pensions etc ( assuming that he didn't own them for years and years before you got married) .spousal maintenance is rare these days and is awarded in cases of a combination of ( very high earner, very long marriage and one partner giving up significant opportunity to support the high earning spouse eg move abroad etc. Even then jt is often capped .
It's unlikely that as a single parent of one child you'll. e able to get away with only working part time .

He controls the money. I pay bills and childcare.
He earns about 36k I think.
He can't look after child on his working days, it's a long story and not to be judged here, but he has significant OCD which he manages with routines etc. He is a great dad, but not able to look after someone else during the week. He would admit to this also.