Spousal maintenance??

[JMEN04]

Hello, I am in a situation where I what to leave my husband but I don't have anywhere to go in order to leave. We also have a small child to consider and with the cost of childcare, I'm working part time, I am financially reliant on my husband.
I've read about spousal maintenance? Has anyone had any experience of how this works?
Essentially, I would need him to cover the essential bills on our property which is owned in his name (however we are married nearly 7 years, together 9) for at least 18 months when our child would start primary school and I can increase my hours to afford a place of my own.
Is this reasonable? He would probably have to move back in with his parents to enable this to happen.
Alternatively, I could leave the family home if I was supported with the initial set up of a rental property. Could this been spousal maintenance?
I could then apply for appropriate financial support to help with bills and therefor be financially independent from my husband (with the exception of our child).
Thanks

I get spousal but it's from a long marriage, older kids not eligible for cms, sn, and he earns over £100k. We came to the arrangement privately so he could keep 50% of the house equity (I would have been award a lot more due to potential lifetime care for dd1. We are amicable

What I have listed above is correct OP— I’ve been into this with a lawyer, partly because I did want to separate and did fit exactly that criteria. If you are younger and have a house with equity then the likely options are that he retains a share till your child is older and partly pays mortgage (depends if he can do that and also fund living elsewhere and if he agreed to it) or selling and paying you child maintenance and if you got a reasonable amount of equity it’s unlikely you would then get spousal. You need to discuss with a solicitor really when houses and kids are involved to get the likely picture.

You won’t get spousal maintenance if he’s on 36k a year. My exh earned double that and refused to move out so I managed to get a council house after a 2 year wait, got child maintenance from him and started working full time. So much happier now.

@Lbnc2021 what did you do in the mean time? Stay living together? Glad you are happier now

I pay bills and childcare. What does he pay?! You're already paying a large proportion of the outgoings.

No, there's no chance you'd get SM if his salary is £36k.

It's generally only awarded in cases where one party earns over £100k and even the n it's rare.

If you divorce you'd receive approx 50% of the marital assets, so half of the equity in the house and savings.

You'd then receive child maintenance, at probably £200-300 a month.

You would not be awarded the house if he could then not afford to rent somewhere. Most likely scenario would be that the house would have to be sold and the proceeds split between you. If your child is school age you're expected to work 35 hours.

Is there any reason your child can’t do full time nursery and you work ?
I’m asking because this is probably what a solicitor will suggest.

Yes we had to stay in the same house. Luckily he works overseas so only had to put up with him for 3 months a year. It was really tough but I knew it wouldn’t be forever.

I've touched upon the relationship being controlling; I genuinely hadn't considered being "allowed" to work part time so that is useful and will consider. Thank you!
I can see how asking him to move to his parents sounds unreasonable; I say it because if I had parents to move back to I would and I genuinely think it's what he would choose. His OCD makes living/managing on his own very challenging.

I think you will have to come to terms with cutting your cloth and that may well mean moving to a cheaper area and claiming benefits. It's a shit position to be in but not unworkable. Gingerbread offer a benefits calculator and you can look for accommodation and see how that leaves you financially.

Did he own the house before you married ?

A £36k salary is not going to get you spousal support.
It’s for much much higher earners

Have you looked at how much child maintenance he would pay, and what you could get in benefits and/or a full time salary?

I know it’s not what you want to hear but at £36k you won’t get spousal maintenance. He just doesn’t earn enough for that to be an option.

Do you think it will be an amicable split? You would be entitled to half the saving and half the equity in the house if you bought it together but it can take time to get to that. You should sit down and work out what your priorities are and what you are willing to sacrifice for that.

So if you want set up costs you could ask for the savings in return for giving up some equity. You may potentially lose some money in the long term but it’s what you prioritise.

What do you earn?

It's a bit impossible for us all to help here op as there's so many variables that are unique to each situation - you'll need to see a solicitor.
I'm afraid you won't get SM as on his wage he can't afford it on top of the CM he will need to pay if you have your child 7 days per week?

So he pays the mortgage/rent (shared ownership property), count tax, gas and electric.
I pay childcare (which isn't far off the same amount of mortgage/rent), water, home insurance,TV licence, we pay for our own cars.
Regarding working full time, actually yes, this is an option which I actually didn't consider because husband has always been quite controlling since child came along about how much I work v's being at home with child
The house isn't owned before we married,I'm just not on the mortgage which was a decision we made at the time as we knew we wanted a child so wanted to keep in budget to account for mat leave and drop in hours hence shared ownership...to keep overall costs down. We lived in an expensive area for his job.

I’m going to assume you’ve got your own bank account that you have your wage paid into. Do you get child benefit paid into your account ?
Do you both have a private pension ?
Do you have any idea of what your house is worth and what equity is in it as the solicitor will ask.
Get screen shots of any other accounts you can get access to, then get that free solicitor appointment.

Is the little one in nursery now ? If so, how likely are you to be able to get a full time place and how likely are you to be able to go full time ?
I’m assuming you’ll need to think about before and after school club places at school too.

If he is exerting coercive control over you it's time to have a chat with social services and the police. That behaviour is illegal and he may be made to stay away from the marital home while investigations are ongoing. You should be able to get legal advice and possibly legal aid. If it is really as bad as you say, you need to take action as soon as possible

If the relationship has elements of abuse, like being controlling and volatile, you can approach your homeless team at your local council and see if they can help. This is what you will need to do if you can’t afford to move and buy somewhere else and the relationship is genuinely toxic and causing you issues. If the Council agree to help, you will be expected to be flexible about where they put you and what kind of property, I.e possibly a flat instead of a house. Some Councils are able to help with a deposit if it helps you to get private rented accommodation.

Obviously if there isn’t any risk to you and the relationship is deemed ok to tolerate, they won’t help. It is there for emergencies though, where you just cannot live together and there is some form of abuse.

My DM actually thought it would happen. She would kick my DF and I out but he would continue to pay for everything. It didnt.

Your house would be sold and you would get 50%. But you need to speak to a lawyer.

The fact he would have to move back in with his parents suggests he isnt earning a large wage to cover your living expenses as it would be atexpense of himself. Secondly you have a job actually, you need to increase your hours and would be expected to do so, your marriage is considered to be short. Spousal allowance is for high earners who have had successful careers spanding over 20 plus years which has effected their spouses earning potential, it's rare these days to be awarded. None of your details indicate you would be eligible for it once you split hes not liable to support you but is liable to support and pay maintenance to your child.

I am a retired solicitor. I honestly cannot see you being awarded spousal maintenance if his salary in only £36000. It is rarely awarded nowadays and only where it has been a very long marriage or one partner earns a significant amount .

@Chilledchablis1 thank you for clearing it up. It was something I had stumbled across online; I am glad to know the facts and not present this as an option (because it's not an option). Thank you

Thank you everyone!
I've got a lot to think about, but I appreciate your responses. As you can tell, I've posted out of desperation so your comments have made me see different points of view...this will make me more reasonable when I get around to talking to him. I am hoping for an amicable split where we are both able to put our child first.

Have you done a calculation via the CMS website of what he’d have to pay in child maintenance?

Would he look for 50/50?