Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Gambling husband

28 replies

incrediblecayote · 06/03/2022 11:19

My husband recently brought to my attention he had been gambling again. The first time about 4years ago I found out by accident but this time he came to tell me.
He has spent savings and even lied about borrowing money from myself.... I should have known better. On top of that there is credit cards, loans and personal borrowing from friends. About £18k he sold his motorbike to make a dent in it but it's know where near to being gone.
This time I have refused to pay it off. I said I will support him but I won't play banker.
I managed to sort out the creditors and froze interest and arranged payment plans. However I gave in and started paying his personal debts when they put the pressure on.
He is determined to make amends and is working all hours to "fix" it. We have 3 young children and it is putting pressure on our marriage. I get upset a lot and cry daily. During the first couple of weeks he couldn't do enough but that's come to an end.
Last night I cried and told him I was still upset and the knock on effect it's had on our family. He basically told me he is doing everything he can to fix it and working all hours and it's him that's the victim not me. I'm so lost, I feel constantly ill and I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
MartinMartinMarti · 25/03/2022 21:53

I would leave tomorrow. Seriously.

I have a family member who was stuck in this cycle for years. She tried to protect the family finances but he lied and forged things until the house was repossessed.

He is now living in Thailand, she is in a housing association flat facing retirement in poverty.

Don’t kid yourself that he is paying off the debt himself. A) he probably won’t long term, B) he’s using money that should be going to the family, meaning you’re having to shoulder the whole burden yourself.

Babymamamama · 25/03/2022 21:55

Cut your losses. Sorry. Seek support for yourself but stop enabling this.

billy1966 · 25/03/2022 21:59

@MartinMartinMarti

I would leave tomorrow. Seriously.

I have a family member who was stuck in this cycle for years. She tried to protect the family finances but he lied and forged things until the house was repossessed.

He is now living in Thailand, she is in a housing association flat facing retirement in poverty.

Don’t kid yourself that he is paying off the debt himself. A) he probably won’t long term, B) he’s using money that should be going to the family, meaning you’re having to shoulder the whole burden yourself.

This is the reality.

Poverty for you.
Poverty for your children.

You owe it to your children not to allow this happen.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread