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Original poster

Arranged a date, then blocked

33 replies

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 05/03/2022 10:12

I’m new to dating after divorce and then my first relationship failing. Had been chatting to someone every day, arranged to meet today and have woken up to find they have blocked me on WhatsApp and the app.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand dating behaviour!

OP posts:
Original poster
BearFacedCheekGrylls · 05/03/2022 10:41

I got a new match this morning, second question have I met anyone who is into feet?

I haven’t, not sure I like people laying out this kind of preferences so early on, and my trotters are unlikely to tick any fetish boxes.

OP posts:
Shunter350 · 05/03/2022 10:47

@BearFacedCheekGrylls

I got a new match this morning, second question have I met anyone who is into feet?

I haven’t, not sure I like people laying out this kind of preferences so early on, and my trotters are unlikely to tick any fetish boxes.

Brilliant! I would date you for your sense of humour alone..! Seriously though. No sex or fetish stuff until a relationship is established in my opinion..
iwishu · 05/03/2022 10:47

Sorry to hear that, it's disappointing, I guess he just wasn't feeling it but didn't have the balls to cancel instead of blocking, at least you didn't waste a date on someone like him.

ChickenStripper · 05/03/2022 10:47

Join the dating thread on here. There's nothing they won't have heard of. Don't chat endlessly - meet early and as regard a fetish it's good they tell you but if you're not interested then just bin.

Original poster
BearFacedCheekGrylls · 05/03/2022 11:05

Thanks. All true and good advice.

I just don’t understand why would you chat so much to someone you had no intention of meeting. What do they get out of it? I was the one who pushed to meet today, because we had been talking a week and a half and it seemed pointless if there wasn’t a spark.

He did leave me a very whispery voice message at one point so perhaps he is with someone already.

OP posts:
Original poster
BearFacedCheekGrylls · 05/03/2022 11:06

@Shunter350 thank you! I think I’m pretty funny too Grin

OP posts:
Jamoffmytoast · 05/03/2022 12:06

Sounds like he definitely already had a girlfriend OP. Onwards and upwards.

Guardsman18 · 05/03/2022 12:11

A friend of mine does OLD and matched with a guy. They ad a nice chat and agreed to meet for coffee one afternoon.

Chat was ok she said and then he txt later to ask if she liked anal! I thought I was unshockable at my age and I'm all for not beating about the bush (for want of a better expression) but I mean - what was he thinking?!

Guardsman18 · 05/03/2022 12:12
  • had
NewYearNewMinty · 05/03/2022 12:19

That's a bummer!

I had one guy message and say he thought I seemed very nice but would it put me off if I knew he was a nudist.

Now I'm fairly open minded and so long and someone wants to get their kit off in their own time and in an appropriate context I don't have an issue, so we continued chatting.

Turned out he was just an exhibitionist and a bit of a perve...at least me and my best mate got dinner and a show when she came round that evening Grin!

pisspants · 05/03/2022 12:41

I reckon he was probably already attached op, or wasn't who he said he was in terms of age/job/appearance or whatever and was seeing if he could still get a date or just liked the chat until it got "real".

icedancerlenny · 05/03/2022 13:01

I’ve had this happen to me several times. They were probably a catfish.

Rosebuud · 05/03/2022 13:11

On the feet thing, no, but at a Xmas party one of my colleagues got drunk and came over to tell me he bet I had beautiful feet. He went on and on and on about my feet and how he’d love to see them, how he thought I’d have the most beautiful feet, how he loved my shoes and how my feet looked in them, how he’d love to touch them and kiss them, how all he could think about was my beautiful feet, it literally it went on for about half an hour.

We all started off laughing like it was a joke, then it became apparent it wasn’t, and honestly it was really disturbing for all of us, we were a mixed group of men and women, we all ended up just sort of sitting there straight faced looking at him. It was like he couldn’t stop himself. He just kept drunkenly going on and on, and was deadly serious.

I was never ever able to look at him the same again, and even though he was a nice guy, good at his job, every single time I looked at him the over riding thought in my head was he had a major pervy foot fetish and I was a bit creeped out by him.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 05/03/2022 13:34

My friend is doing online dating and it sounds utterly exhausting. No words of wisdom but just know you aren’t alone!

Jasmine5552 · 05/03/2022 13:39

When so was in my early 20s I used to go on dating websites but I never found a relationship through them. I am glad I met my other half offline. I hope you find someone better than they guy.

EBearhug · 05/03/2022 13:46

No sex or fetish stuff until a relationship is established in my opinion.

But equally, if it's a deal-breaker for someone, I can see why they'd want to make sure someone's okay with it before investing time and emotion on them - and it saves you time, too. I'm glad I didn't spend long getting to know the bloke obsessed with anal, or the guy obsessed with his small dick, and wouldn't stop talking about it, even after I pointed out it was tedious and there were loads of other things we could talk about. If they state these things up front, then you know to swipe no. I find this less disappointing than the ones you get on brilliantly with online, and then meet to discover there's no chemistry. (Though presumably more disappointing for them, as the two it's happened with both wanted second dates.)

Shunter350 · 05/03/2022 13:47

@PatientlyWaiting21

My friend is doing online dating and it sounds utterly exhausting. No words of wisdom but just know you aren’t alone!
I can assure you that it's also exhausting for "nice" guys too.. we get ghosted and ignored too!
liveforsummer · 06/03/2022 08:46

If your feet are less than perfect it's probably even more attractive to someone with a fetish 😆. Beware if any attempt at sex talk or suggestion of photos at this stage as they are guaranteed to turn out to be massive pests who just want them all the time. It's tiresome. What you describe is so common though. Always the ones that are so keen to start with, send you good night and good morning texts. Over interest always always ends in ghosting.

Shunter350 · 06/03/2022 20:43

@liveforsummer

If your feet are less than perfect it's probably even more attractive to someone with a fetish 😆. Beware if any attempt at sex talk or suggestion of photos at this stage as they are guaranteed to turn out to be massive pests who just want them all the time. It's tiresome. What you describe is so common though. Always the ones that are so keen to start with, send you good night and good morning texts. Over interest always always ends in ghosting.
Blimey., I send good morning / evening messages! Then I get chucked. And I don't do inappropriate chat either., the worst I've asked is milk or dark chocolate..🥴
Original poster
BearFacedCheekGrylls · 06/03/2022 21:43

Over interest is a good description. He kept saying how much he liked me and I kept thinking ‘how can you, when we haven’t met’

OP posts:
D0lphine · 06/03/2022 22:41

Arranging a date then blocking - completely standard I'm afraid.

Advice is to be thick skinned and never believe someone until you actually see them (and even then???)

Re feet / other weird stuff just block them. They're perverts.

Also look at what site you're on. Bumble is best IMO because you are in control of who messages you. No one can message you without you liking them first.

D0lphine · 06/03/2022 22:43

I just don’t understand why would you chat so much to someone you had no intention of meeting. What do they get out of it?

Boredom?

Flattery?

Bit pathetic really isn't it?

EBearhug · 06/03/2022 22:44

Oh yes. Got sick of the one who kept going on about, "can't believe you're single," when we'd never met. Once is fine, but then it's like he's not listening to anything I said. I wasn't quite mean enough to respond with, "I can see why you are," by the point I blocked him, but I thought it...

EBearhug · 06/03/2022 22:46

I just don’t understand why would you chat so much to someone you had no intention of meeting. What do they get out of it?

I've got online friends I've never actually met, but we've spent years chatting online.

AWavyLine · 07/03/2022 07:49

I think a proportion of OLDers are just doing it as a fantasy- they’re married perhaps but like the idea they could still go out on dates etc if they wanted. So they chat to you online until a date is agreed, then they move on, because all they wanted out of it was the knowledge that they could have had a date if they had wanted one. A sad way to spend time, really.

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