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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I just kidding myself here

70 replies

allinadaystwerk · 03/03/2022 17:56

Been divorced from an absolute arse of a man for 3 years. He was Emotionally lethal I'm not being dramatic, I was scared of my own shadow and too scared to even ask for help when I collapsed with a serious illness. Anyway that's a bit of back ground.

The good news is, I got out! Oh yes! I survived and now I thrive.. well, most of the time. 16 yrs of emotional abuse takes its toll and therapy has brought me along nicely. But there are still days and encounters that can be hard, even for a rock star like me (that's right, I blow my own trumpet, I'm a hero in my own life, all survivors are)

Now to the present. Six months ago I met someone. Not my usual type (when I knew no better, I married the second alpha arsehole that I kissed)

He's quiet and a bit shy until you know him. When you know him he's witty, cheeky, kind and a tad eccentric, thoughtful and patient and has taught me... things... so many wonderful things that i never knew before! Never married no kids early 50's

He is also long term unemployed. Says he cares for elderly parents and he does but not every day he could definitely work at least part time. He says he wants to work but i dont see much effort to get a job. He spends many days in his home 'navel gazing' or popping out to the shops with a close female friend. Like me i think mild depression can rear its head with him now n then

I work full time. Busy and responsible job. I don't need anyones money or help in that way.

I just struggle sometimes with the difference between us in this and other areas. I get frustrated with the lack of resolve to work and the settling for life on benefits kinda irks me..

Time spent with him is easy, no fear or worries for my safety. We get on and enjoy the company.

But am I kidding myself to think it can work?. Can I continue this 'easy' option forever?

OP posts:
Disneydatknee88 · 04/03/2022 01:58

Not much to add that hasn't already been said (but I will say it anyway) other than you sound absolutely awesome and I love your positive attitude. It must be really awful coming out of an abusive relationship and where you can now recognise the massive red flags, perhaps the smaller ones don't quite shine through yet. Look, he does seem nice and you get on well but I wouldn't settle for that. He doesn't seem to have much ambition or drive and that isn't a personality trait that you share. Maybe just enjoy each others company for now but you need to weigh up what you want in the long term. Is moving in together a big thing for you? How would that work out with this guy? How would you share finances? How would his parents factor into this? You don't say how old you are in comparison to him. There is no shame in walking away and saying hey, it's been a learning experience. I absolutely do deserve someone who will treat me with love and respect and look how easy I found that? It's out there...just with other prospects. You don't need to settle on the first nice guy.

Monty27 · 04/03/2022 02:01

He's a cocklodger

DoorWasAJar · 04/03/2022 02:24

@allinadaystwerk

I just spoke to him. He's starting a course to re-skill. I said good for you, he said It's not just for me it's for us... 😳
Well perhaps there’s hope yet! It’s not like he never worked, right?
IrishKatie1971 · 04/03/2022 02:37

Before jumping to conclusions, how much do you know about how much and what type of care his parents need?

Post Brexit and throw in Covid, I have now found myself, for a number of complicated Brexit and health-related reasons, found myself without much work. I'm self-employed. I've decided to apply for alternative employment. I have two degrees and a masters and extensive work experience in numerous fields. I've applied for MANY jobs. I'm either being rejected for being over-qualified, unqualified for some roles, getting to interview stage and on paper am great, but weak interview.. possibly nerves. It's bloody hard and can be depressing. I WANT full-time, fulfilling work, but would also be willing to do unfulfilling work. ... Seems the lesser qualified jobs are also picky.

For the past few weeks I've given up. Am tired. Have also cared for my parents during sickness AND running a business and the business suffered, and then suffered more due to my own mental health getting a hammering from taking on a care-giving role, falling ill with a mystery virus, extracting myself from an abusive relationship, falling into a certain level of financial hardship, getting depressed and giving up on everything.

It's so easy to judge others until we've walked a few miles in their shoes.

And the job market is full of zero hour contracts too. You can be working sometimes for a pittance.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 04/03/2022 02:41

I couldn't be with someone who was work shy. I work pretty hard myself because I like to have money to buy nice things, and I expect the same from my partner. I went out with a bloke like this when I was a student, he ended up being a massive sponger, so never again. He still owes me 100 quid actually, but since I last saw him in 1991 I don't think I'll be getting that back! Grin

Graphista · 04/03/2022 03:01

Quite honestly I think it sounds to me as if he possibly suffers from some levels of agoraphobia, maybe some social anxiety and general anxiety

These things aren't even always noticed/recognised by the sufferer

His circumstances are perfectly acceptable reasons for not continuing the relationship if it's not for you.

But I don't thing they make him a "bad guy"

He's in his 50's - very few people at that age don't have SOME kind of baggage/issues and I'm assuming you're of a similar age?

I'm 50 this year I think by that age/stage you have to be more tolerant and understanding of peoples history

You have your own too op

I do think perhaps if he hasn't fully disclosed his reasons for being on benefits/what benefits he's on if old ones then that might be because he's concerned at how you might react if he disclosed mental illness etc as there is still HUGE stigma around these things

I'm on benefits I haven't worked since my mid 30's due to ill health, I have a physical disability - which is what I tell 'new' people is why I am not working which is true but it's not the whole story

I also have severe mental illnesses that I'm less open about in real life simply because there IS still stigma, and prejudice and misunderstandings about various conditions

Eg I also have agoraphobia which a lot of people still think only means you can't go out anywhere ever, when in reality there are levels of how bad the illness is depending how bad you're affected at a particular time

I've had long periods of being completely housebound but I also have stages where I can go to certain places on certain days under certain conditions - and even then I'm extremely anxious! I need to know exactly where I'm going, how to get there, the timings, what potential "obstacles" there might be etc mostly I stick to places and routes that are "safe" because they're a known quantity and I can only go out on days when I know the circumstances work for me and if I've had a bad night prior to going out lack of sleep, panic attacks etc then that basically cancels my plans last minute

My dd suffers terribly with social anxiety in certain situations. Some have scoffed at her because she SEEMS very sociable to her friends etc but new people, new places really throw her off and ramp up the anxiety. She's away at uni just now almost every night the 1st week I was talking her down just to get her out of her room to use the kitchen! Because she was terrified of bumping into a new flatmate or worse a few of them and doing/saying the wrong thing. She has gradually got to know them and they also now know how she needs to manage things so they very kindly let her know if there's likely to be someone she doesn't know hanging about, let her know roughly when they'll be leaving etc and a couple of them have taken the time to learn how to calm her down if she gets bad/panic attacks. Lovely of them. She was so nervous about telling them as she didn't want them thinking she "was a freak" (her words)

Perhaps also he was more involved in his parents care in the past and that's what he is used to and maybe now they're getting more help from other agencies?

You know better than us what the whole story is likely to be

He's intelligent and used to work but had a stressful time and suffered burnout. I know what that feels like.

Yea I'm leaning more towards there's likely more to his own health background than you're currently aware of. And it's not right to push him on that cos really to a point it's not your business same goes for the details of his parents health and how he sorts their care

I had a fwb for a time who was self employed and dropped his hours when his dad moved in with him following his mothers death. Neither he nor his father really fully acknowledged/admitted everything he was doing for his dad but it was clear enough to him in terms of he couldn't manage to keep doing full time work and even I noticed in conversations we had that he was gradually doing more and more for his dad almost without realising. Turns out his dad had Alzheimer's and was gradually becoming less able and less safe taking care of himself. Sometimes depending on the condition/circumstances things can creep up on you

There's a lot of talk on here about the "mental load" that applies when caring for elderly family too there's a lot that needs done that isn't necessarily a practical task but is draining energy wise

Money really isn't everything

As long as you have enough to meet your needs with a little extra for luxuries/fun stuff then there are many other things that are valuable qualities in a partner

Same sense of humour
Kindness
Empathy
Loving the very things you hate about yourself
Patience
Treating others well not just you
Calm under pressure
Good at calming you down
Generosity - this is not about splashing the cash but a generous spirit, I know people extremely well off who never tip and begrudge buying birthday cards for others! But spend plenty on themselves, I know people with barely 2 pennies to rub together who would never see someone go without a meal or a new coat and love choosing thoughtful gifts for birthdays etc

Every person has to decide what qualities they personally seek in a partner

Eg my ex was...not intelligent, but worse he looked down on those who were! Very insecure about this and majorly ripped into anyone clever or educated as if they were like that to personally spite him! No way would I go for someone with that aspect again. Nothing wrong with being less able academically, everyone has their own gifts and abilities, I'm academic but I'm crap at anything practical or artistic and have huge respect for those who have those abilities. It's more the attitude he had towards people he thought were looking down their nose at him just because they had dared to go to uni! What's weird is his current wife is now doing her phd! She's way more intellectual than me - and yes he rips into her about that too publicly I've seen the sm posts!

It's also about shared interests eg ex was a HUGE rugby fan like massive - sport bores me to tears! Having had that experience I don't think I'd go for someone that much into sport again. If he wasn't sleeping, working or watching rugby he was playing rugby certainly until we had dd and even then he only really gave up the playing drove me nuts!

LovedayCL · 04/03/2022 03:48

@allinadaystwerk

I just spoke to him. He's starting a course to re-skill. I said good for you, he said It's not just for me it's for us... 😳
It’s for us.

It’s not. That’s feathery strokey, red flaggish BS. If he’s capable of a training course then he’s capable of a job and he was capable of of both before he got wind that you might be unimpressed by his lack of one. Consider the timing here.

You have the expectation that anyone you’re in a relationship with is a fully functioning adult independent of that relationship. He’s setting up some codependent bollocks here and you deserve much better than that.

PinkNails1 · 04/03/2022 03:55

He’s definitely not a catch. You can do so much better OP. This man is actively deciding not to work (asking the state - and you - to subsidise his lifestyle) and hasn’t had long term relationships. That should send alarm bells ringing - he had zero ambition and commitment. What course has he decided to start? Most adults will work whilst they’re doing a course.

PinkNails1 · 04/03/2022 03:57

Oh gosh I just noticed that this man is his his 50s! Never worked or had a long term relationship? Yeah… run away. Fast.

Laptopsandmouses · 04/03/2022 05:43

How does that work though? Suddenly he’s starting a course. Yesterday he wasn’t? What sort of course do you suddenly book on, without prior discussion that reskills you and leads to employment?

Crikeyalmighty · 04/03/2022 09:21

There’s a big difference OP between someone temporarily between jobs or out of work and a professional layabout, who is quite happy with that situation. Definitely a cocklodger in training. If he is a lazy git it will eventually get in your nerves

allinadaystwerk · 04/03/2022 10:42

I have loved reading all the different opinions on this. I realise I have spent alot of money on him without even thinking. I'm going to stop doing that. He never asks for it but it's just become the norm. I didn't even think much about it till you guys gave my head a wobble.
I'm not rich but I have a decent job so can afford a meal out and trips etc.
He is a good guy. Not sinister or controlling. Kind and generous with the little he has
I think there are definitely mental health issues depression and anxiety.. takes one to know one I guess

I can't see me living with anyone ever. My house is my sanctuary for me and my children.
He doesn't even stay over, though I've stayed at his.

I'm still getting used to being free and allowed to make my own decisions. He, perhaps is Mr right now, but I'm not spending any more money on him. I wonder if it will change things🤔

OP posts:
bjrce · 04/03/2022 11:11

" I realise I have spent a lot of money on him without even thinking."
This screamed out at me!

Also, the fact you stated earlier he would love to travel.

He might not actually ask you for money - but if you paid for a holiday abroad or restaurants, he not's likely to say no!

I wouldn't get too involved with this guy! He's not a keeper.

Laptopsandmouses · 04/03/2022 11:28

Does it not make you really uncomfortable paying for him to go out with you like this? And the fact he’s hinting at you taking him on holiday, give him other stuff, and wanting you to pay for him to live with you?

And the course thing is just bullshit and you know it.

Does it not make you cringe?

FurPunt · 04/03/2022 12:31

That said, if you do really, genuinely like him, you could just carry on seeing him on a casual basis. But, if I were you, I wouldn’t be putting my hands in my pocket ever again for anything. And I’d be wary of getting over involved, keep my own separate interests and options, etc.

Also wonder who the female friend is he goes “shopping” with. What kind of shopping, who’s buying, who’s she,!and so on. Seems a slightly odd way for a grown man to spend his time.

FurPunt · 04/03/2022 12:33

Oops,’just seen your update OP. I see you are thinking along those lines.

LovedayCL · 04/03/2022 20:58

‘Doing a course’ is also… not working.

momtoboys · 04/03/2022 21:08

There is a reason that seemingly lovely man has never been married. Keep him as a friend. You can do better.

pictish · 04/03/2022 21:29

@allinadaystwerk

I just spoke to him. He's starting a course to re-skill. I said good for you, he said It's not just for me it's for us... 😳
I’m a cynic and I admit it. This made me go nooooooo. He should have done this a long time ago for HIMSELF. The fact that he hasn’t is crux. Do you really want to feel obligated to nursemaid a 50 yr old man through getting (and undoubtedly resenting) an entry level job?

It’s for us - that’s quite loaded imo. I’d be wary of that.

pictish · 04/03/2022 21:31

I’m sure he thinks it sounds romantic.

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