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Original poster

This isn't normal

31 replies

depechegal · 02/03/2022 14:43

Me and partner been together 18 months. We don't live together. I've been through a bit of stress recently and I'm post menopause so sex has fallen down the list a bit.
This morning I fancied it so dp came back to bed. I had my eyes closed, I thought he was enjoying himself.

I caught him browsing his phone! I feel so rejected after trying to get myself going. I just stopped and turned over. Defeated by bedroom etiquette. Just frankly rude.

OP posts:
Yankeescot · 02/03/2022 15:05

Omg, he was on his phone???!!! What a complete twat???

What did he say when you stopped and turned over?

Opentooffers · 02/03/2022 15:08

If you are saying that he was actually browsing his phone whilst 'on the job' and you didn't notice until you opened your eyes, he must be usually quite crap in bed for you not to notice, as hands are usually required too.
Taking that into account, nobody would be impressed to discover that - less than 2 years, you should still be in the honeymoon phase, but sounds like you are just companions going through the motions. Time to call it quits maybe.

bluepeacock · 02/03/2022 15:10

He was browsing on his phone whilst having sex with you???

Say what now?

girlmom21 · 02/03/2022 15:14

Yeah I'd dump him. I'd dump DP of 9 years who I have two kids with for that, to be honest.

Rewritethestars1 · 02/03/2022 15:18

I don't get how this is possible unless he is absolutely rubbish in bed.

LampLighter414 · 02/03/2022 15:38

Please explain what kind of position this was?
Surely no hands was a sign?

WatieKatie · 02/03/2022 15:38

I assume he was watching porn and not replying to messages?

Sonaftersonafterson · 02/03/2022 16:15

Whaaaat? Like, a Netflix show or pictures/porn?

GeneLovesJezebel · 02/03/2022 16:16

Hmm 🤔

Justcallmebebes · 02/03/2022 16:29

Were you pleasuring him? (I hate that phrase but can't think how else to politely put it!) because if it was mid shag, then I admire his dexterity and flexibility

itsnotdeep · 02/03/2022 16:33

lol

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 02/03/2022 16:34

Or was he videoing?

Lillygolightly · 02/03/2022 16:34

He did what!!’ So disrespectful I’m so sorry op nobody deserves that. Flowers

itsnotdeep · 02/03/2022 16:40

he was probably doing wordle

Original poster
depechegal · 02/03/2022 17:08

Thought I'd already replied but my phone didn't send it Hmm

He came back to bed and I was working on him, hence no hands and when I opened my eyes, he was browsing the net. No porn, no Netflix. Just googling.
I should've said something this morning but I just stopped what I was doing and turned over.

I wasn't expecting him to do that and i just feel rejected. It's hard enough trying to get the fire back past menopause, without stress, and now this. Let alone he has a pissy dog in the house taking a crap in the hallway, it's very hard to get in the mood.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 02/03/2022 17:18

Your mention of the completely irrelevant pissy dog highlights the issue here. He doesn't turn you on because you don't respect each other.

Did you actually mention to him at the time that it bothered you? It's beyond me how you can be having sex with your partner, then stop in the middle of activities, without any discussion of how you felt or why you stopped? Do you have any connection with him at all, emotionally?

itsnotdeep · 02/03/2022 17:35

Sorry OP, I didn't mean to make light of your post. no it's not normal. But it seems as though there's quite a few other things that aren't working too.

Original poster
depechegal · 02/03/2022 17:43

I think I have more of an emotional connection than he does with me.
Nope he never asked why I stopped. I just turned over and went back to sleep.
The main thing that isn't working is the issues with the dog. I was never consulted, he just expects me to look after it while he's living his own life...

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 02/03/2022 17:56

Fucken hell, I get annoyed if dh looks at his phone when we're having dinner!

Between that and the pissy dog, I'd tell him to fuck off. Please tell me he lives in your home and you can kick him and his dog out!?

Pixiedust1234 · 02/03/2022 17:59

So...lets ignore the sex/phone part for a minute and concentrate on the other info. 18 months together. Seperate houses. He expects you to look after his untrained or elderly dog whilst he goes out doing whatever, no discussion. Just that alone shows he has zero respect for you. You are a convenience rather than a person he wants to be with. Kick him out and find someone who actually likes you. Sorry op Flowers

pinkyredrose · 02/03/2022 18:01

Why would you look after the dog when you don't live together? Anyway dump this twat, can't see what he adds to your life.

HollowTalk · 02/03/2022 18:03

So he doesn't live with you, he's absolutely crap in bed and his dog goes to the toilet in your house? What the hell are you doing woman! Why are you still with this complete and utter twat?

Morechocolatethanbarbara · 02/03/2022 18:03

You've only been together 18 months, the sex is shit and he's got you doing doggy daycare which you don't want to do.
Just call it quits and fine someone you're more in synch with (or be on your own for a bit) either way it seems your life would improve!

Hopefullyoneday12 · 02/03/2022 18:04

It'll only get worse.

girlmom21 · 02/03/2022 19:01

You really think the main issue is the dog?