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Original poster

Pregnant and think partner is stealing from me?

36 replies

oasissummerfruits · 28/02/2022 15:11

Hey everyone

I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant, suffered a loss in the summer of last year at quite a late stage so have been especially worried during this one. Thankfully all is well so far.

I've had a few issues with my partner in the past, when I first found out about this pregnancy I also found out he had been unfaithful while I was pregnant with the baby I lost. I was so nervous about this pregnancy that I forgave him and stayed with him.

Recently some of my jewellery items have gone missing. First was an expensive ring which I wore everyday, and always put in the same place at night. I couldn't find it one morning and he even helped me to look for it, I came to the conclusion my cat must have knocked it off and I threw it away by accident.

A few weeks ago a bracelet of mine went missing from my drawer. It was always in the same drawer and I never wore this one due to the clasp being flimsy and I would worry I would lose it if I wore it. I would always see it in the same drawer and happened to notice it wasn't there anymore. I became suspicious as nobody had been in that room apart from him. I couldn't directly ask him as I know he would just deny it. Again, he was helping me look for it and acting concerned.

I've been having my suspicions about him and a few days ago I checked his phone. On his internet history he had been looking up what items of ID you need with you when pawning gold. He has no jewellery of his own and I am almost certain it is mine he is selling. I don't know what to do as he will just deny it if I ask him outright, and will blame me for looking down his phone.

I'm struggling to live like this and I feel all trust has gone. He's quite emotionally abusive and when I've thrown him out in the past he worms his way back, saying he has nowhere to go and guilt tripping me. I don't understand it as he earns good money and doesn't have many outgoings so I don't know why he would steal but I don't see how else things are going missing. I really don't know what to do, I feel trapped and scared of bringing a baby into something like this. I've been having to cancel work if he's going to be in as I don't like leaving him in the house unattended with my belongings.

Would be grateful for anybody's thoughts Sad

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 28/02/2022 15:14

You poor thing
You’ve been through so much sadly I think your partner is not a good person - he’s been unfaithful and you don’t trust him - you’re going through his phone so yes, the trust is gone
You shouldn’t have to be cancelling work
In fact, your job is crucial because sadly I think you’re going to have to raise your baby alone. There are so many red flags with your partner already - you’ve said he’s emotionally abusive and worms his way back in
This won’t be the best envrioenemtn to raise a child
Do you have friends / family? Can you get your ducks in a row and leave?

rubyslippers · 28/02/2022 15:15

I think you need to prioritise your health and well being from now

JovialNickname · 28/02/2022 15:17

I'm sorry to hear you've had such a hard time. However read your own post, the answers are so obvious what do you expect us to say to you that you don't, if you look deeply, know yourself? Xxx

herehere22 · 28/02/2022 15:23

Wow

Don't confront him yet. Call the police and get them to check his phone history 😬

HollowTalk · 28/02/2022 15:29

I would take a really clear photo of him (and if possible, your jewellery) to every pawnbroker's in the area and ask if they'd seen him. I'd dump him, too. What an awful man.

HollowTalk · 28/02/2022 15:30

Before then, I agree with others, go to the police and ask them what to do.

MunchyMonsters · 28/02/2022 15:34

Drugs or gambling.

Get rid of this man OP. He's a cheat, thief and lier. Trust is gone and you will never get it back Flowers

Be strong, know your worth and don't allow your child to grow up in this environment.

TheOccupier · 28/02/2022 15:35

Of course he's stealing from you... you knew he was dishonest and decided to have his baby anyway. You're not trapped yet though. What is your living and financial situation - can you get away for a fresh start somewhere new? Assuming you're not married to this guy, it would be better not to put his name on the baby's birth certificate.

Do you want your jewellery back? If so you could check local pawn shops.

LittleOwl153 · 28/02/2022 15:40

Change your locks - otherwise he'll be in when you are not home. He's a cheat. Get rid. Nothing good will come of him. You already have a stressful pregnancy, why would you want to add to that?

Houstonjane · 28/02/2022 16:42

Do not alert your partner yet, phone the Police as soon as possible. Tell them he is emotionally abusive and stealing from you. Tell them what you found on his phone.
My ex stole from me, it got worse and worse, till I had a nervous breakdown. He also lied to my face, about where my belongings had gone. I too was in an abusive relationship.
Please get rid of this man, you know he is a cheat, thief, liar. He will destroy your mental health.
Please phone Women`s Aid too.
Check the local pawn shops for your jewellery.

Piggyk2 · 28/02/2022 16:46

Do you live together OP? Do you have any family you can stay with?

PussGirl · 28/02/2022 16:47

You deserve better than him - you'll be fine without him - really you will.

Hope you get your jewellery back.

Bananalanacake · 28/02/2022 16:49

How long were you together when he moved in. Was it his idea?

Itstimetoquit · 28/02/2022 16:55

Can you have a look in local pawn shops x

2catsandhappy · 28/02/2022 17:58

Tell him the police are coming around at 9pm to take your statement about the thefts. See if he packs a bag and makes an excuse to leave. If he does leave, job done. Take a day off work, finish his packing and change the lock.
He is a using lying cheating thieving scumbag. Don't put him on the birth certificate. What an utter bastard.

ugifletzet · 28/02/2022 18:04
  1. Call the police.
  2. Check your local pawn shops. If you can access his Internet history, you may find their details there.
  3. Keep all your jewellery under lock and key.
  4. Tell him to leave and change the locks. It's not your problem if he has "nowhere to go" - which, by the way, he has. He wasn't living in a cardboard box when he met you. He's taking advantage and if you don't act now he'll bleed you dry with his stealing and lying.
Crikeyalmighty · 28/02/2022 18:05

What a complete low life— clearly he is stealing to fund ‘something’ you are unaware of- debts, gambling, drugs, hookers etc.

I would tell him he has 2 hours to pack and leave or you are calling the police.

PoshPyjamas · 28/02/2022 18:08

Absolutely call the police.

JustHereWithPopcorn · 28/02/2022 18:08

I agree with drugs or gambling Sad

Howshouldibehave · 28/02/2022 18:12

Is it your house or his?

I would ask him to leave. I would also tell the police about the theft.

He sounds horrible.

Houstonjane · 28/02/2022 19:08

He is the lowest scum treating you like this, it is no future for you and your baby with him. First step phone the police.
The Police can issue a Domestic Violence Protection Order to get him out of the home. It does not have to be physical violence.
Rights of Women or a solicitor can get you a non molestation order and occupation order to remove him from the home.
Change the locks. Do not put him on the baby`s birth certificate and apply for child maintenance as soon as the baby is born
It is better to be a single parent than with this piece of utter thrash.

user1471504747 · 28/02/2022 19:14

I would find a reason to leave the house and ask him to search for the jewellery while you’re out, as otherwise the police are going to come.

Hopefully he “finds” your missing items, at which point you kick him out

Cherrysoup · 28/02/2022 19:34

Is it your house? You don’t need proof to end a relationship, just get rid, it seems quite clear cut that it’s him. Does he have debts/a gambling problem?

BlanketsBanned · 28/02/2022 19:40

don't leave anything valuable around, give it to a friend or family to look after, including bank statements, credit cards etc. anything he could use if it is him and ask the police for advice. would you set up a hidden camera. The best thing would be to ask him to leave, change the locks, don't have him back whatever crap he tells you. You do not need someone like this in your life even if he hasn't stolen from you.

Babyg1995 · 28/02/2022 19:42

My ex done this exact same thing to me I chucked him out instantly later found out he had taken bikes out the loft and sold them too I never got the police involved was just glad to be finally rid of the scumbag things will never be the same between you now he's done this it's the lowest of the low you need to find your strength and get rid of him .

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