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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Grown men who have GOOD relationships with their Mums: Do you know any?

43 replies

DrNortherner · 03/01/2008 13:01

I don't, and as a Mum to a ds it bothers me.

What is teh secret to maintainging a good relationship right through adulthood?

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 03/01/2008 13:03

I think that quite a few of my men friends have good relationships with their mothers - some definitely don't however - but thinking of my dh and his brothers and my own brother and my mum,I thin k they all get along pretty well - above all,they love their mums ! I hope ds will get o n with me when he grows up !

MAMAZON · 03/01/2008 13:04

my brothers do.

i think my mum struck a good balance between offering disaproving glances but support.
she allowed them to grow into adults and accepth that as adults they may make mistakes, shw would offer guidance but never an i told you so (well ok she did but only whilst smiling after she had sorted it all out lol)

though she is far less forgiving of us girls

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 03/01/2008 13:05

My brother has a great relationship with my Mum.

colditz · 03/01/2008 13:05

I only know a couple of men whose relationship with their mum is bad, actually, and both had abusive mothers. Relationships with their dad seems to suffer more, with men.

JossStick · 03/01/2008 13:05

My DH gets on better with my mum than his own - not much help there.

I have 2 DSs and hope someone can reassure us here!

MIL gave me (well - us really) hell at first and i'm determined not to do this to my sons girlfriends.

Although if they're not good enough.........................................................

robin3 · 03/01/2008 13:05

Better be a few positives here as I have two boys! DP doesn't even talk to his Mum these days.

JossStick · 03/01/2008 13:07

It doesn't help when people do the old:

"A son is a son till he gets him a wife
But a daughter's a daughter for the rest of you r life"

Poem

Grrrrrrrr

FriedGreenTomatoes · 03/01/2008 13:07

My DH does. But he went to boarding school, so maybe that is why?

singyswife · 03/01/2008 13:07

HI there, my dh and his brother both get on excellently with their mother. See her all the time, do things for her, include her in family dinners etc. We also all go on holiday together once a year (mil, dh, 2 dc and me). Think we might have fallen lucky though.

TellusMater · 03/01/2008 13:09

My brother.

NadineBaggott · 03/01/2008 13:10

Yes my two sons have a great relationship with me. One is 33 the other is 31.

FranSanDisco · 03/01/2008 13:10

My brother has a good relationship with our mum. My dh is very loyal to his mum but really doesn't enjoy talking to her or listening to her as she's a bit self obsessed. He wouldn't agree with me on that though - as he's loyal

shoshe · 03/01/2008 13:11

My 30 year old DS and I get on great, might be cos most of his young life it was just him and I, I speak to him at least 3/4 times a week and see him on a Sunday for lunch most weeks.

And can I say he is also married to a fantastic South African girl, who as her Mum is so far away treats me like her Mum as well.

AngharadGoldenhand · 03/01/2008 13:13

Dh gets on well with his mum and she is nice, generous with her time etc (we have the odd disagreement, but I can appreciate her good points).

What I find though, is that I'm the one who thinks of going to see her/phoning her. It's not that he doesn't want to, he just doesn't think about it.

You might do well to cultivate a good relationship with your future dil .

DoubleBluff · 03/01/2008 13:19

I have this concern too, as a mother to two DS's.
I have two brothers who although get on with my Mum well, never think to ring or pop in.
It is always my mum having to do teh visiting or the calling which makes me sad.
DS is fairly good with his Mum and does ring and arrange visits.
I wasnt my sons to marry orphans so that I will be the only parent in their marriage and THEY wil visit me!!!!

Dinosaur · 03/01/2008 13:19

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UnquietDad · 03/01/2008 13:26

I generally do, although (as people will know who have read my rants on here) she is difficult when she always has to be "right", and when she is unbearable she really lays it on thick.

TheIceQueen · 03/01/2008 13:28

my brother has an excellent relationship with my mum, and DH had a good relationship with his mum before she passed away.

Had a family friend who remained a batchelor - and had such a good relationship with his mother that he stayed in the family home after her DH (his father died).

jura · 03/01/2008 13:30

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenGlassGoblin · 03/01/2008 13:30

my brother with our mum, and my Dh with his. Neither live in one another's pockets as it were, but there is a deep and strong bond there. So much that it never occured to me (until this thread) to worry that DS and I would fall out.

Dinosaur · 03/01/2008 13:31

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

littlelapin · 03/01/2008 13:31

This reply has been deleted

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coppertop · 03/01/2008 13:32

Dh has a good relationship with his mum. I don't think he has ever had an argument with her. She's lovely.

Dinosaur · 03/01/2008 13:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

DoubleBluff · 03/01/2008 13:34

Like the iron rod/ velvet glove analogy!