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Original poster

How to win back an ex

37 replies

Chloeuk1979 · 25/02/2022 19:24

Hi,
About 6 weeks ago my boyfriend ended our relationship and moved in with a new woman. I think it was a grass is greener situation.
I immediately stopped messaging him. He has since been over twice asking to be friends and on the second occasion tried to hug me.
Recently we messaged and he's desperate to meet up. He opened up emotionally by texting and said how depressed He is with work and life in general. He is still living with the woman but didn't mention her.
I feel that he wants me as an emotional support and wants to be friends as we've been together 6 years and he probably doesn't want to lose me altogether.
Today I messaged its over, I cannot be friends as I still have feelings. I said goodbye, I need time to heal and start a new chapter in my life.
What do you think will happen? Is there any hope?

Or should I have remained friends to cause the new woman to be paranoid and show him what he's missing?
Thank you

OP posts:
PatsyClinSilVousPlait · 25/02/2022 19:27

Don't.

MozzarellaMonster · 25/02/2022 19:27

Move on, don't be friends he will just use you as a fwb if you carrying on being friendly and he keeps wanting a cuddle.
He's left and he misses what he had but wants to keep what he's got also, he's not left her and said I've made a mistake can I come back he's just keeping his options open.
Take control and move on. Onwards and upwards Wine

Elieza · 25/02/2022 19:29

Stay away from him. Put yourself first. Move on with your life. If you are meant to get back together it will happen.

Don’t be the other woman.
Don’t be the safety net.

Sounds like he moved from your bed to hers. Which is pathetic. What a loser, couldn’t be alone without a woman to hold his hand.

Don’t fuck with the woman’s head. Walk away with your dignity. I don’t think he sounds like a catch tbh. I think you’ll find better. When you’re ready.

Original poster
Chloeuk1979 · 25/02/2022 19:33

Yes I know deep down I can do better, it's just difficult after so many years.

OP posts:
BlanketsBanned · 25/02/2022 19:36

You so not need him, he has moved out, the grass wasn't greener and now he is feeling sorry for himself. Remember the hurt he caused you, dont let that happen again.

Lilypresto · 25/02/2022 19:43

If you want him back, sounds like you do, then if he's already messaging you it looks like he wants you back too IMO.

It might even be a case that he realises how good he had it with you compared to this other woman then if you got back together he would stay faithful.

Difficult to call this one.

User8721643839 · 25/02/2022 19:43

Why the utter fuck do you want want him back? He cheated and moved on, plse don't be the other woman to his current squeeze.
In my experience, once you stop wanting him back and cut all ties, he will walk over hot coals to woo you back

PamelaDoov · 25/02/2022 19:45

Don’t do it. My ex tried this with me after we broke up. I didn’t give in. I’m SO GLAD I didn’t.

Elieza · 25/02/2022 19:56

I’d also suggest that if he went behind your back it was because he felt something was lacking in your relationship.

Instead of speaking to you about whatever it was he just had an affair.

He is unlikely to be faithful to you in the future as the same thing is still lacking presumably.

So unless the relationship changes fundamentally he will likely go off with someone else again.

dieblauenStrumpfhosen · 25/02/2022 19:58

Never let a man tell you he doesn't want you twice.

Justleaveitblankthen · 25/02/2022 19:59

Bloody hell, 6 weeks ago he split with you and began living with her? How long had he been seeing her before that?! What the actual fuck? Angry

inheritancetrack · 25/02/2022 20:02

You need to totally block and decline all contact. If he doesn't get the hint tell him bluntly to duck off as he's ducked with your head long enough. Then move on of course you will feel some regrets but given time you won't

Really18 · 25/02/2022 20:04

Catch a grip. He isn't a catch. You need to work on yourself and raise the bar. You gave this tosser 6 years of your life and he fucked off and moved in with another woman after 6 weeks. Dont give him another 6 seconds. It's a waste of your time.

mathanxiety · 25/02/2022 20:09

LOL, your ex wants the ego boost of two women fighting over him.

Disengage, move on.

'Thank you next' can be your song.

frozendaisy · 25/02/2022 20:11

So he only moved out because there was another woman to move in with. What a perfect example of a strong, independent male.

God he sounds needy.

Enjoy your escape.

Find a new path that doesn't include him.

Don't fall for his pathetic, needy, weak, I need a hug from you crap.

supercali77 · 25/02/2022 21:05

BLOCK HIM. 1. He will be desperate to speak to you and know why he got blocked but 2) you won't have to bother with it and go on to live fabulous life not having someone cheating on you

merryhouse · 25/02/2022 21:10

Why do you want this baby?

Original poster
Chloeuk1979 · 25/02/2022 21:55

After 6 years it's difficult to move on. Deep down I know he's never going to be loyal. He is a great liar.
I'm not talking to him anymore and have told his girlfriend he needs to collect his things by Friday. I've dumped most of it in the sitting room

OP posts:
OkayCoral · 25/02/2022 22:12

You absolutely did the right thing. He wants to have his cake and eat it. It’s so typical. He doesn’t want you to move on to someone new. Whether he wants to get back with you or not, now isn’t the time. Now you need some time alone to heal before you think about dating again.

My ex ended our marriage after 19 years and 3 dc. It shattered me at the time. Stupidly, I pleaded with him not to, many times. I regret that. A few years on now and I am glad he did it. I have the most wonderful boyfriend. I have a contentment in life that I haven’t felt for decades.

Hard as it is now, let it fall apart. Something better will fall together for you.Flowers

lisaandalan · 25/02/2022 22:22

Stay away, if he's don't it once he will do it again. X

TheSpecialist · 26/02/2022 12:25

I tried this with my ex.

We both still love each other as we were best friends at the heart of the relationship. But it just didn’t work. We tried.

We tried to be friends but the connections and emotions are still there.

We are not in a position where we can’t even communicate as it got childish.

My advice is to just stay clear of each other for a while and focus on you. Gym. Healthy body. Friends. Lots of fizz.

Take care of now and the future can take care of itself. If you muddy the water with emotions that are messy right now, you may never have a chance of anything.

Just get on. If you become friends in the future it’s a bonus. Maybe more. But life has decided that you needed to part. As the saying goes, if you love something. Set it free.

SunflowerTed · 26/02/2022 12:28

@Chloeuk1979

After 6 years it's difficult to move on. Deep down I know he's never going to be loyal. He is a great liar. I'm not talking to him anymore and have told his girlfriend he needs to collect his things by Friday. I've dumped most of it in the sitting room
Somebody who drops you and moves straight in with somebody else!? And you want him back? He’s a user who is hedging his bets. Please block and find somebody worthy!!!! Nobody wants a liar and a cheat as a life partner
SunflowerTed · 26/02/2022 12:29

@TheSpecialist

I tried this with my ex.

We both still love each other as we were best friends at the heart of the relationship. But it just didn’t work. We tried.

We tried to be friends but the connections and emotions are still there.

We are not in a position where we can’t even communicate as it got childish.

My advice is to just stay clear of each other for a while and focus on you. Gym. Healthy body. Friends. Lots of fizz.

Take care of now and the future can take care of itself. If you muddy the water with emotions that are messy right now, you may never have a chance of anything.

Just get on. If you become friends in the future it’s a bonus. Maybe more. But life has decided that you needed to part. As the saying goes, if you love something. Set it free.

This.
TheSpecialist · 26/02/2022 12:31

Ps. Don’t listen to the “block him” crowd. We evolved from the pond a long time ago. Sara happen when communication halts.

You just need time. Once you have that you might decide that you never want to see him again but I’m a firm believer that bridges should never be burned forever.

Inthesameboatatmo · 26/02/2022 12:34

He's realised that he fucked up . Oh well his loss . Cut contact and don't look back op

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