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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP being done for dangerous driving

97 replies

womansaurus · 03/01/2008 09:59

My partner has always acted like a dick behind the wheel. When I met him he had 6 points and his licence for speeding and yet continued to speed EVERYTIME he drove anywhere stating that the law was stupid and he was actually PREVENTING acidents by speeding . He would also rev the engine at pedestrians, race people off traffic lights and generally just act like a twat.

I hated it, I found it childish and embarrassing and I ended up never going in the car with him because of his driving. Anyway lately he didnt seem as bad, I assumed he had changed.

Then a couple of weeks ago he was stopped and reported for dangerous driving .

Apparantly he was on a motorway, stuck in a line of traffic that he reckoned was "going too slow" so he pulled out of the lane and shot past them all...only he then couldn't get back into the queue and he was stuck in a lane he wasn't supposed to be in. Eventually some kind soul let him back in so he pulled in then guess what he did next? Pulled straight back out again and attempted to shoot past another load of traffic .

By this point the police officers that were keeping an eye on him had had enough and pulled him over, long and short of it is that they did him for dangerous driving and said he would hear of a court date within a few weeks.

He's still defiant, at first he admitted it was his fault and that it was only a matter of time before he got pulled over but he soon changed his opinion to "It was their fault, if they hadn't been going so slow I would never have overtaken them". Then it was "it wasn't even dangerous, nobody got hurt, you shouldn't be penalised for what "could" have happened" and then "anyway, it'll probably just get lowered to careless driving"

I'm so annoyed with him, its everybody's fault but his own again and he's so bloody arrogent that hes convinced he'll get away with it like he always has before.

I'm hoping they come down hard on him, I'm sick of him getting away with everything. Does anyone know whats likely to happen? apparantly it could be a fine, a ban or a custodial sentance which is unlikely.

I have a feeling he'll get (another) slap on the wrist and be told not to do it again.

OP posts:
LittleBellasRingingInTheNew · 03/01/2008 18:52

God whenever I see drivers like your DP, I always fervently hope they'll kill themselves before they kill someone else. Call me harsh.

Show him this thread. But he'll probably dismiss it as a bunch of stupid women who shouldn't be on the road anyway. The prick.

womansaurus · 03/01/2008 19:36

In a way I hope he goes down too, I think that is what it will take for the message to sink in.

When I was driving he would always fire instructions at me like "go...after this red one..." or "go go go..." at roundabouts and then follow it up with "Oh, you couldve been out then". I got pissed off with it and told him to stop ordering me around when I'm driving and so he said "I'm just advising you, thats all" I told him I'd been driving for 2 years just fine on my own before he came along, I dont need instructions now and so he replied "yeah, you've been driving for 2 years, I've been driving for 8 years so I'm much more experienced than you!" I then pointed out that out of the two of us, I was the one that a) has never been in a crash, b) has never hit anyone and c) has a completely clean license and so he reckoned that was because he has driven more and was "obviously more likely" to be expossed to other bad drivers and bad conditions etc nothing gets through.

Also, when that advert comes on where the little girl is lying dead against a tree having been run over at 40mph and then gets up after the speed is reduced to 30mps he gets all huffy and says "oh turn this shit off, its all a load of bollocks, its so untrue all that crap" etc...

And the same when the drink driving adverts come on the radio around christmas "daddy wont be home this christmas" etc....he turns the radio over and says "Goodbye" to it.

But what annoys me more is that he gets away with it every single time.

And he has the cheek to moan about his insurance being so high.

OP posts:
lulumama · 03/01/2008 19:37

maybe he cannot watch the ads as he is incapable of facing up to the heartbreak he could cause? the fact he has hit a child already speaks volumes?

does he ever show any remorse for his actions?

Kerri28 · 03/01/2008 19:40

hi icod! i guess its people like me you nod and disagree with

i was unsure about fine, its £1000 for most motoring, but unsure about careless, and dammit i'm on maternity so didn't want to get off my fatt(er) arse to look at books!! but i will if you need to know womansaurus

we dont get many dangerous drivers down here, but the ones we do get (and which stay in our court rather than crown court) don't often go inside, but thats not to say he won't, and sentencing is often different in different areas, for example if the road is often used dangerously and it needs to be stopped. hope that helps

womansaurus · 03/01/2008 19:42

When he hit the child he phoned me almost crying, his voice was shaking and he almost lost it completely. He was apparantly sat in the car and couldnt face the thought of turning the engine back on for ages and he was apparantly shaking so badly someone that saw the accident suggested he go to hospital to be treated for shock?! I honestly felt sorry for him, the way he described it was as if the kid had come from nowhere and the parents where apparantly 100% on his side but a few hours later it was back to his cocky ways, "if people kept their kids under control..." etc.

Like with the dangerous driving one, he came home worried sick saying he couldnt believe how stupid he was and he was so annoyed with himself then within two hours he was trying to convince me how innocent he was and how he did what he did to PREVENT an accident and that it was everyone elses fault for being so slow and "if someone had let me in lane..." etc but if ever anyone is stuck trying to get into a lane normally he goes out of his way to make sure they cant get in!

OP posts:
womansaurus · 03/01/2008 19:44

oh and as for road conditions, the police officer asked what DP's opinion of visibity was that day. DP said it was a bit overcast but fine otherwise and apparantly the police man disagreed and marked it down saying it was foggy/misty or something.

OP posts:
lulumama · 03/01/2008 19:44

wow, it is really nonsensical.. for as long as he continues to get away with it, he will have the small amount of remorse, then the 'i got away with it' swagger

do any of your friends and family know about this? could they all have some sort of intervention with him and show how mucch they disapprove give him a wake up call?

edam · 03/01/2008 19:47

he sounds like a fucking idiot. My 4yo can reason better than him - ds admits when he's made a mistake especially when there is clear evidence.

I hope they at least ban him and make him take a course before he is allowed anywhere near the driving seat ever again.

womansaurus · 03/01/2008 19:48

My mum knows and HATES me going in the car anywhere with him, after the dangerous driving incident she told him that he'd better drive sensibly with her daughter and grandkids in the car as she didnt want us being identified at the side of the road...he just replied with "I know, I know..." then oustide he said she was a bit harsh!

My friend knows and last time we were there she made a point of starting a conversation about "dickhead boyracers" and went on about how they look so pathetic and ridiculous and obviously try and make up for their tiny penis' and DP sat there and actually agreed with her he just doesnt realise that that dickhead bombing around almost killing people is HIM.

OP posts:
lulumama · 03/01/2008 19:50

he is in denial

he needs help

seriously

mumof2fabkids · 03/01/2008 20:03

An example of a complete tosser - there are a lot of them out there. I would urge you to report dickheads like this to the Police when you witness dangerous driving. The police will go to the persons house, providing you give them the registration number of the vehicle, and this will all be logged, so when/if they ever get done and it goes to court, this visit will be on record. I have done it when 2 middle aged men who should have known better, were racing their new cars on a busy road and nearly knocked down a mum with a pram and a toddler walking next to her, shocking. I've done it a fews times now, and I'm glad I have. Feel really strongly about this subject as one day it could be one of our kids!

edam · 03/01/2008 20:07

Glad you've had some response from the police, Mumof2. Sadly when I reported someone (for overtaking a bus at a crossing and going through on red, missing the pedestrians using the crossing by inches) I got a 'so what'. Same lack of interest when someone actually ran me over and admitted in front of witnesses that he had no insurance!

OrmIrian · 03/01/2008 20:10

OK. When he gets behind the wheel he's a dangerous twat. So lets hope they ban him for a nice long time. No sympathy fof him but plenty for you.

OrmIrian · 03/01/2008 20:13

He hit a child and got back behind the wheel? And then continued with the same attitude?

Words fail me.

PeterDuck · 03/01/2008 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 03/01/2008 22:57

I know that courts often take into account mitigating circumstances when sentencing - is there any way that you can let them know what his attitude's like so they come down harder on him - kind of the reverse of the usual situation?

needmorecoffee · 04/01/2008 09:31

I wish the police would take note. There's a zebra crossing not far from my house and waiting there with a child in a wheelchair to cross as driver after driver fails to stop. I've reported a few numbers to the police and told them about this crossing but they just aren't interetsed.
DH wants to take a trolley of bricks out and thrust it onto the crossing. The driver who doesn't stop will then get a totalled car.

ninedragons · 04/01/2008 10:48

We used to live on a bendy deserted country road that was very popular with the local boy racer set.

One night at about 3am I heard a screech and a bang, and when I went outside there was an Evo upside down on the road. I am not proud of this but have to admit it did cross my mind that nobody else had seen the accident, so if I didn't call an ambulance he could bleed out quietly and there would be one less aggressive fucker on the road.

I did call the ambulance, of course, but there was a surprisingly big part of me that thought maybe nature should just take its course, and better him than some child at a pedestrian crossing.

Ripeberry · 04/01/2008 11:20

Ninedragons. Similar thing happened to us.
We were going along a straight road in Wilts and this pratt was overtaking everyone, in and out like a yo-yo and then there was a bend and he spun out accross a field and damaged the side of his car.
The traffic slowed down to see if he was Ok (he was) and then everyone just laughed at him and pointed
Served him right, thank goodness he did not hit anyone else.
AB

Sidge · 04/01/2008 12:00

He's a knobhead.

Ditch the fucker.

Sooner or later he will kill or seriously injure someone. The fact that he has no remorse for his actions and seems to think that safety advice is a joke just shows how arrogant and immature he is.

And if you stay with him, you will be associated with his fucktwattery (even if not in the car with him) and if he does kill someone you will have to think about that forever.

hanaflower · 04/01/2008 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontCallMeBaby · 04/01/2008 15:38

needmorecoffee, that's so depressing. DD and I cross quite a busy road to get to nursery, no crossings, but a lot of people DO stop for us (far more than stop for just me on the way home), BUT ... I bet it'd be a different story if it was a faster stretch of road (they are already slowing for a roundabout).

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