This happened a couple of years ago but it plays on my mind daily and I need to get it out.
My male friend and I were very good friends, he was also friends with my boyfriend and there were a group of us. As things were unravelling with my boyfriend my friend- let’s call him B- told me he had feelings for me. My head was all over the place re my boyfriend but I didn’t indicate to B that they were reciprocated because they weren’t.
Anyway. I was now single and still friends with B. At no point did I ever indicate I had feelings for him apart from once on a night out when I made one flirty comment to him after a few drinks.
A few months later we went to a bar with a few of our other friends. Chatting, having a few drinks etc. Three of us including B got in a cab back to where we lived. I said night and went into my house. I was sitting in my room looking at photos on my phone when I heard a kerfuffle downstairs. Suddenly my bedroom door burst open and B walked in. Turned out he had knocked on the front door and when my sister answered he had pushed past her and barged in!
I was sitting there shocked and then he removed his coat and started to walk towards me. I was feeling vulnerable sitting in my bedroom and didn’t know what the hell he was going to do so I told him to leave. He refused so I had to be more forceful with my words. Eventually I got him downstairs to the door and he was still refusing to leave. Because he was unsteady after a few drinks I was able to open the door with one hand and push him out with the other, shutting it behind him. I heard him screaming the F word as he walked away.
The next day I got a call from B to tell me that he had been in A&E overnight after taking an overdose of painkillers. He said it was my fault. I was horrified but felt like he had been wrong for forcing himself in to my house and scaring me so I told him I didn’t feel I was wrong for making him go.
The next day I arrived at work to find cds and books that he had borrowed from me thrown all over my desk. (We worked in the same building). It was like a punch in the stomach. I opened my email and he had written to me saying he wanted nothing more to do with me.
And that was it, he never spoke to me again.
He was such a good friend and I was gutted at the time. The fact that he told me his attempt was my fault has never left me.
I don’t feel that I messed with his head. I knew him for 4 years and there were maybe two flirty incidents in all that time, but otherwise he knew I was utterly devoted to the boyfriend I had and later broke up with.
Was this my fault at all?