How often do you talk to DP through the day?

[Iwanttenofthose]

Light-hearted post, obviously every relationship is different, but: how much do you communicate with your partner throughout the day when you're not together through texts, phone calls etc?

When we're at work we'll often exchange a few messages through the morning then H still wants to call for a chat at lunch. I find this a bit much and am often too busy. It's only 6-7 hours until we'll be sitting eating together! Then we watch tv and don't chat because we already know about each other's days 😆

Maybe a text or two exchanged. Practical stuff related to when DH is finishing work so I can plan dinner time, or communicating about the kids.

Sometimes nothing.

Ummm...about once every two years or so? If there's an emergency/disaster/etc.

Other than that, I'll text if I'm going to be working late/when I'm on my way back or if I'm carrying something that I need help with. He'll text if he's going to be late.

We're a bit older though and started work at the time where you never took a personal call in work time unless it involved a medical emergency, so we never got into the constant messaging and calling - with an ex, I found it extremely demanding and intrusive because he would cop a strop if I didn't respond to him immediately and accuse me of all sorts. Truth was that he was angry my mind wasn't focused upon him every minute of the day and if my attention wandered to my actual job, he thought I'd immediately be looking to ensnare another man.

When DP was working away, though, he'd text in the morning and call in the evening as an 'I'm still alive'. But we weren't going to be seeing one another for another couple of weeks, which is considerably different to being apart for no more than 9 hours.

We both work from home together a lot of the time and have been married for 27 years.

If I get a day/evening without DP here I fall on my knees in gratitude (and I imagine he does the same). I would never text him in those circumstances unless it was a dire emergency.

Oh this is interesting, I'm glad I started this thread!

I could happily do without the calls and the messages that aren't about arranging stuff, as we'd have more to talk about properly later.

But as someone else said above I feel like it means something to him so I don't want to be a dick about it!

I text him twice today but he text me first...then I rang him to tell him I would be late.

The “already knowing about each other’s day” aspect is a good part of the reason I started going back to the office as soon as it became an option after lockdowns. It’s just nice to get home and have something to talk about with DP that we don’t both already know about.

I couldn’t handle “chat” phone calls during the day. We’ll send the odd text about information that can’t wait until we’re both home / which needs a reasonably prompt answer. Some days that could be a handful of texts, other days none at all or just one to say “I’m on my way home.”

We both WFH so a lot more. Lucky we have lots of different workspaces (away from each other!), but will often call out for cups of tea abs a chat, and also to get some fresh perspectives on work we are doing. Totally different industries so it’s really interesting for both of us to get our perspectives on problems etc!!

Before that he would leave at 6:30/7am, I did before school club, he did after school club at 5pm, I got home some time after 6pm. We talked if we needed to communicate.

Much prefer the set up now!

Ummm...about once every two years or so? If there's an emergency/disaster/etc.

This.
In 30 years of being together (so obviously pre- mobiles / texts etc to start with) I doubt if we've 'had a conversation' when there hasn't been something that needs sorting out immediately, less than a dozen times.

Not at all - we travel to work together then one if us rings the other when it's time to leave to drive home!

Never unless there's a problem. Certainly not just for a chat in 20 years of being together!

One or two texts, or none I save it up for when we get home.

When we weren't working at home, it was rare - if I needed him to pick up something on way home, or remind him of something. For general chat sort of thing, never. If one of us is travelling, we usually check in to say we've arrive safely and might send a good morning text or summat.

@Kite22

Ummm...about once every two years or so? If there's an emergency/disaster/etc.

This.
In 30 years of being together (so obviously pre- mobiles / texts etc to start with) I doubt if we've 'had a conversation' when there hasn't been something that needs sorting out immediately, less than a dozen times.

Yep - if I phone, he instantly picks up because 'If you're phoning, I know it's important'.

Pre-covid when we were both in the office we hardly spoke at all unless there was a reason to, he often worked late so I'd call him before going to bed if he wasn't home just to check in. When we were both wfh during covid a bit more during day at mealtimes or if he came into the kitchen to get a drink/snack. Now I'm on mat leave and he's hybrid at home/in work so I'll pop my head round the door a bit more/take dd in to say hi when he's home, and send the occasional photo if he's in the office - no pressure for him to reply to those though.

A fair amount but we work in the same office and if like today his direct line manager isn't in, I'm his senior

We message throughout the day, a few in the mornings a few in the afternoon. We never talk on the phone, or rather we only would if it were something urgent. I’d have a momentary panic if I got a phone call from DH in fact.

We both WFH but in separate rooms. I work downstairs and he usually makes the morning cuppa so we have a 5 minute chat then.

I'll make us some lunch or a couple of times a week we'll get out for a walk or to a coffee shop.

We might get another 5 mins in the afternoon but he's often on back to back calls then.

Maybe once a day, usually something practical or mundane about who is working later/can you call at the supermarket on the way home. Maybe once or twice a week we might send something funny we've seen to each other, but not to actually talk properly

I would only ever call my husband "just for a chat" if one of us were away from home for more than one night.

During the day we exchange usually 6-10 messages? There's no way on earth that I would sacrifice my whole lunch break every day to listen to my husband blethering on about some boring nonsense.

It's ridiculous all day every day but my DH is a social butterfly

I can’t remember the last time we spoke on the phone. Today he’s been in the office and me at home, so we exchanged five or six messages, ranging from the day’s Wordle, me sending a photo of the cat in a box, to him saying he was on his way.

When we didn’t have DD we just texted/ saw each other in the evening unless there was something to sort (shopping, evening plans etc). Now we text more about DD but tbh I preferred it before 😂

We don't phone chat in the day unless it's something about kids pick up or what's happening after work/school.
We do sometimes WhatsApp each other if something funny happens or we have gossip to share with each other.

DH and I have been together twenty years. Our working times are quite different which is great for childcare but not in terms of seeing each other much. We don’t text unless it’s important but we do talk on the phone a couple of times a day. We’ve pretty much had the same routine since we’ve been together.

The odd text about dinner/shopping/errands etc but even then that wouldn’t be every day.