What does a cockllodger look like to you

[h2ooooo]

Just that....
Are they always mean with money and expect to be kept?

Yes.

Along with making promises to get a job/earn a wage and contribute more around the house.

Whilst still getting laid.

Simply someone who is mean with their money but very generous with yours.

Sometimes, the cocklodger is a cocklodger by default. Ie. They’re building their Business, developing their art career, completing their studies, waiting for the next big contract etc. The dp is initially supportive, supporting their partner.

However, suddenly, they realise that, ten years on, their partner is still the perpetual student, the business isn’t bringing in revenue, the pictures aren’t being sold etc. And yet they still expect to be kept whilst the other person is maintaining a full time job, doing all the housework etc

Even if they contributed now and again ?
Would you consider someone that does the minimum for his keep a cocklodger?

Yes, exactly what @Riverlee said. They aren't always obvious about it. There are reasons -excuses-, plausible issues, you earn more so it seems obvious that you should pay and let them do their "very important" thing etc etc. It can totally sneak up on you. When I dated post exH, I was very careful to be with men who matched my generosity.

Someone who is able to save money at the expense of someone else.

As a stay home wife who has worked part time, had children, etc, I don't feel like a cock lodger even though my husband has contributed the greater part of the money.
I'm not amassing my money elsewhere, or spending loads on myself. I pull my weight around the house and with the DC (back then).

Yes, even if they contribute a bit they can still be a cocklodger. It needs to be fair - whatever that looks like depending on the couple's individual circumstances.

Someone who will stay for the night but never leave. Go to his place to get more clothes as the once he has at mine are now dirty. Forget his wallet at home when going out. Tell you he just had a major bill come out can I pay for this, that or the other now and he will pay me later. Bring his kids round to yours only for all of them to eat everything out of your kitchen. Tell you about his ex that was so horrible to him she left him penniless and so you try not to be like her. Needless to say she wasn’t. Not pay maintenance to his ex because he needed a holiday in Greece.

In the beginning of the relationship he is perfect, but then the ugly sides start creeping in and even with retaliation, you feel unkind and unreasonable to want money of someone who is going through a hard time so chances are given until the penny drops.

@h2ooooo

Even if they contributed now and again ? Would you consider someone that does the minimum for his keep a cocklodger?

Yes. Some cocklodger do enough to string you along. The other person is picking up up the lion’s share.

I’m guessing you are wondering whether your partner is a cocklodger.

He's never asked for money but is happy about to accept my hospitality when he visits often for days at a time. He will buy the odd take away or pay for lunch but as we can only be at mine together at the moment, it is me who provides the food etc.
He has very little outgoings comparatively but does need to save.

The kind of bloke that moves into another man's house with the ex. Has kids from a prior relationship and doesn't contribute much maintenence or much to the new household.

Doesn't think much about what being introduced quickly to new partner's kids will mean to anyone but himself. Overweight and probably tattooed. Not that I can think of anyone specific...

A man who somehow always holds off on taking a job because he 'can do better' or it's 'not right'.

They usually play video games for excessive amounts of time too.

@h2ooooo

What is he like when you go out? Is he generous or does he expect you to pay then?

We take turns. He has a lot more disposable than me though and lives at mine every weekend.

@picklemewalnuts

Someone who is able to save money at the expense of someone else.

As a stay home wife who has worked part time, had children, etc, I don't feel like a cock lodger even though my husband has contributed the greater part of the money.
I'm not amassing my money elsewhere, or spending loads on myself. I pull my weight around the house and with the DC (back then).

Wouldn't that be a foo-foo lodger?

If you are thinking it then he is.

My sister has one for a partner. He still has his own flat (owns it) but he lets it out to a mate so he has that income, plus he works full time on a good wage. But he lives off my sister. He spends most of his time at hers, eats her food, uses her gas and electric and internet, offers nothing towards her outgoings. Every now and then he brings a few bits in from the shop but nothing much maybe some bread or milk. And when he was wfh he wanted to do it in the living room so she was relegated to the kitchen! She told me all this very matter of factly and I was gobsmacked and pissed off that she's allowing it tbh. I asked what she's getting out of this and doesn't she feel put upon and she answered 'I get him'.. so I give in

Mine had the ability to save for his “forever home”
But couldn’t afford to pay rent or bills to me for a roof over his head.

Oh. And the savings were all his while he had his own house rented out.

Gone.

I’m sure there is a wide variety of what a cocklodger looks like? For me? It’s quite simply someone who doesn’t fairly contribute.

And I’m not even saying paying 50/50. But failing to contribute something financially and/ or pulling their weight. Happy to take, zero shame about doing so. And when they’re called on it, they act like you have insulted them vs recognising that they are in fact shameless leeches.

Mine handed his notice to his landlord the weekend I bought MY house, then proceeded to move in bit by bit - first Fridays, Saturdays, then Tuesdays after football, then every night except Sunday cos that's when he'd go to his mums so she could do all his laundry. Only ever bought one bag of groceries and never a penny towards any bills, in 10 months.

Oh I'm very well versed in this.

My "cocklodger" claimed he never lived with me. Despite spending every night in my home for over 4 years

Never contributed to a single household bill.
Appeased me with an odd food shop, payed for nights out, weekends away and the takeaways. All the fun stuff basically. In his defence when we did venture out I wouldn't spend a penny. However I couldn't have even if I wanted too, because I was absolutely broke from running a house on my sole income and feeding him and his kids along with my own.

I had no social life outside of him as I couldn't afford one. I should have been grateful apparently.

OP does he squeak when he walks? If so that's a surefire way of telling. Tighter than a duck's proverbial

Someone who can seem very generous with money however doesn't actually follow through like let's take the kids out today and before you know it you have paid gor the entry paid for the food paid for a Teddy all he did was drive YOUR CAR to the location

I used to have the five year rule, which is not even talking about moving in until we have been together for five years, If they didn't like it they could find some other vagina to stick their cock into. Guess what, I've never fallen prey to one of these using bastards.

A gold-digger/cocklodger is someone of either gender who expects someone else to pay for them.