Hi 👋
My husband has had an addiction to porn, starting a few years before we met.
He's confessed it to me and I've been trying to be as supportive as possible towards him.
He refuses therapy (doesn't like the concept of it) so I've tried my best to assist him in the ways I could.
I personally don't consider porn to be cheating although it does hurt me a tiny bit. But I've never criticised him for it.
Things got a bit different a few months ago.
So first of all, six months prior to that, when we were on his computer, I kept seeing one username pop up in his recently searched for history (when you type something on the url bar). I didn't think much of it at first but as it appeared again and again I started getting a bit curious as it is a girly username, looked it up on Instagram, found nothing and just thought nothing of it and forgot about it.
Fast forward six months later, her username shows up tons of time, only her username, followed by the name of a famous website where sex workers go live and you can chat with them one on one, or watch their lives or text them, tip them, make requests etc...
To me that is way different from porn and is a form of cheating.
I confronted my husband about it who promised me that it was just a random username, that there were plenty of people and he doesn't just look that one up, and that he never ever spoke to her privately or tipped her or anything. That it was just like any other form of pornography as he wasn't interacting with her and promised me he would stop going on that live website since it hurts me so much.
A few days ago, he passes me his phone to look something up and in the most recent search her username and the name of the website appears again.
That night I ask him if he still goes on that website and watches that girl. He swears by God that he doesn't and stopped and it was all all the past. I told him I had seen what he had been looking up and he admitted to it.
Once again he promised me he never interacted with her and that she was just a random username amongst the many others.
Thing is its always only her username that pops up. I'm wondering if he's saying the truth or if he's lying to me.
I'm also very hurt that he promised me he would never do it again and lied to me.
He told me to search up one of his emails to prove he doesn't have an account and he doesn't.
But that's only one of his emails.
I asked him to check the email he uses for FB and he told me had changed his FB email, which was true.
I still asked me to show me the old FB Hotmail account and he showed me his old uni one instead.
I don't know what to think.
He did tell me he had privacy issues anyways so he wouldn't create an account. But would that explain the change to his Facebook email too? He keeps changing his emails on other websites too which makes me so confused