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Original poster

Boyfriend gone in a mood...was I in the wrong?

85 replies

starlights33 · 15/02/2022 17:18

Sunday we went to Liverpool for two nights.
The train got us in at 1.30pm
The plan was to go out on the night and have a meal and drinks (I bought a new outfit ,quite dressy)
We couldn't check in hotel till 3pm so we dropped bags off at hotel and went into town.
I said il pop into h&m.
He wanted to watch the England rugby match which started at 3pm...so I suggested going to a pub and then checking in to hotel after it finished (around 4.40pm)

He said no he wanted to check in before that.
So we got to hotel for 3.10 pm and he said wanted to go straight out and watch rugby but stay out all night(without me getting changed)
I looked a hot mess,it was raining and miserable.
I said let's go straight out but I need to go back after rugby to change my outfit and top up makeup (half hour tops )
He said he couldn't be bothered to do that as once we were out we should be out.

So he sat in the hotel room face like thunder.
I asked him why he was being like that,he said he wanted to watch rugby in the pub with atmosphere(I said let's go to the pub before we checked in and then i said let's go straight to the pub after we checked in) so he had two chances to go....both wasn't good enough for him.

Was I in the wrong?I wasn't stopping him from watching it
All I wanted was half hour to get changed after it finished.
I would have been out by half 5 regardless

OP posts:
Chickenpoxtwins · 15/02/2022 18:31

God he sounds like a total bore. Id end it. Wanting to get changed for dinner and touch up your make up was not unreasonable.

skodadoda · 15/02/2022 18:32

OP, have you seen how many women post on MN complaining that their DPs prioritise their own interests and refuse to do a fair share of childcare, housework etc.
That’s where you’re heading if you stay with this brat of a man.

DoingAway · 15/02/2022 18:32

Controlling, selfish knob. Bin him OP. This will only get worse.

NeverChange · 15/02/2022 18:38

I don't mind the sports obsession and if certain events were on, I would want to do the same as him but objecting to you going across the road to the hotel while he should be happy out with his game and a pint would drive me to insanity.

Not comfortable in a pub on his own, especially when the TV gets more attention than you, give me a break.

Imagine when you have kids and they cry during superbowl or need attention.

2catsandhappy · 15/02/2022 18:39

4 hours travelling for sport and sulking.
Dear God!
Bin him and find someone who enjoys YOUR company.
Waste of money, time and energy.

Hotchox · 15/02/2022 18:39

I love watching sports, but what a boring sod! The absolute best I can say for him is that, just maybe, he thinks your 'half an hour to get ready' is more like 90 mins or so (it would be for my daughter for example) - but if you're genuinely capable of a quick change, then he's an idiot and needs to shape up.

WonderfulYou · 15/02/2022 18:39

I think he was being an idiot.

If he wanted to watch the match but you were moaning that you wanted to leave then fair enough - but you said you’d be happy to get changed afterwards or whilst he was watching it.

I honestly can’t see how him having to go to the hotel for 30mins would be a big issue.

Justleaveitblankthen · 15/02/2022 18:43

Is he a complete Billy no mates then? Why does he only have his girlfriend to watch his sports with? Looks like he schedules your trips away so he can sit you in a pub with him and enjoy the atmosphere of unknown dudes ( mainly ) all around Confused
If he wasn't so soft to let you leave for half an hour to get changed, he might meet a little friend or two that he could chat with.
He's a selfish baby. Get rid.

Queenoftheashes · 15/02/2022 18:53

He’s a twat. If he wants to prioritise rugby he needs to be able to sit on his own for half an hour. What a bellend.

Juliauns91 · 15/02/2022 18:58

Imagine being second best to watching assorted men playing ball games on TV. How incredibly depressing. One thing's for sure - spectator sport men like that don' t change.

I hope you realise you can do much better - plus - less than a year in, you should be having to peel him off you, but he is already sulking and being boring. It does not bode well.

CottonSock · 15/02/2022 19:01

You can do so much better op. Book a nice meal out with your friends.

sassbott · 15/02/2022 19:09

He’s shown you who he is, you need to decide if this is the person you want to build a life with, because he won’t change. As a PP has said, what does this sports obsession look like if you have children/ family/ responsibilities?

Personally I get his side. I’d want to check in (in case of issues and some hotels do overbook capacity..so checking in as soon as you can is smart). I’d also want to go to the pub to watch the rugby. But i would then have zero issue with heading back to refresh/ smarten up. And I’d hope my partner would do the same. Rugby shirt is not smart restaurant attire. Go back, put some music on, have a cheeky room service drink, a bit of a dance while getting ready (and / or a bit of nookie) and then head back out.

Worse case, if my partner wasn’t up for the above, I would hope he would Stay in the pub with a pint while I get ready. I know of no bloke who would have an issue with that tbh.

He wasn’t interested in the weekend you wanted (including a nice restaurant). He wanted sports and pub. That’s it.

GentlemanJayFab · 15/02/2022 19:41

@SamphiretheStickerist

So, he didn't realy want to go away with you this weekend, he wanted to watch the rugby? He could have just said and you could have gone next weekend, when there are no 6 nation matches on.

He's a twat!

No. It's possible to do both.
billy1966 · 15/02/2022 20:56

If you don't want a future with a selfish, sulking waster, I suggest you dump him promptly.

MadMadMadamMim · 15/02/2022 21:10

Chuck him.

No woman wants to sit in a pub watching rugby, followed by Match of the Day and the Superbowl on a weekend away!

What a boring way to spend time. I don't even know what the Superbowl is - except it's American sport? Who the hell wants to watch that?

Aprilx · 15/02/2022 21:33

What a waste of money and effort. He can stop at home and watch TV.

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 15/02/2022 21:33

Who chose the weekend to go away?? If he was into sport, he could have said 'Oh, I want to watch x and y, can we go away another weekend?'

But you've only been together a year!! Back then my p would rather have spent a weekend with me than do anything like watch sport 😂

Your bf sounds like an immature, sulky dickhead who can't use his words to communicate.

Are you suited in other ways? Does he make you happy??

I think yanbu at all for wanting to change before going out out - who goes out for the evening at 4pm??!

Sazzlepop22 · 15/02/2022 21:59

Took me about a year or so to realise that sport was very very important to my now husband. My compromise was to plan our things for times when sport events weren't/aren't happening, but I expect full participation and good humour from him in return, when doing our things together.
It works for us. May be a relationship deal breaker for others.
He's not going to change so maybe time to think about how much more you're willing to invest in the relationship or if it's been a nice year but ultimately not going to work out in the long run.
I use my phone calendar to plan things so have subscribed to various sports events calendars so they show up on my calendar so I know what he's likely to be keen on watching. Obviously that doesn't replace a conversation. It helps me to see when I can make my own plans and when to plan on couples stuff.
Don't know if any that is helpful but good luck!

LaurieFairyCake · 15/02/2022 22:03

He wanted you to stay up til 3 in the morning watching the Super Bowl too?

Get rid - he's a big fucking baby

HollowTalk · 15/02/2022 22:07

@starlights33

The last time we went away in November to Manchester we sat in the pub for 5 hours whilst he watched the Manchester derby (build up and after )
Why on earth would you go away with him again after that!
2020nymph · 15/02/2022 22:14

Throw him back. It's not going to get better.

browneyes77 · 15/02/2022 22:25

You offered every compromise possible and he put barriers up to every single one.

He can’t sit on his own in the pub with a pint and the sport he wants to watch for 30 mins, while his partner pops over the road to get changed? (Blimey my fella would be happy to have 30 mins to himself, as would I! Grin)

He has no business sulking the big baby. He got to do everything he wanted that weekend didn’t he?

Major sports fanatics like this won’t change. You’ll be in for a lifetime of it. You have to decide whether you can endure it.

BelindaBumcrack · 15/02/2022 22:33

Dump him love. He cares more about watching sport than spending time with you, when you both should be loved up and enjoying time together. And if you stick with him and have a family, sport will be far more important to him than spending time with you and your DC. You will do all the work because he has to watch sport.

My old boss was like this. Utterly sports obsessed. He had no other interest outside of work. He's now divorced. His adult son has no interest in sports so has little contact with him and his ex-wife is very happily remarried. Ex-boss, now retired, occasionally pops up on social media, advertising the unofficial team fan group he now manages for his footie team. I just think it is really sad that he put this before his family. That said he was an utter knob so I don't blame them for walking away.

wingscrow · 15/02/2022 22:47

So his main focus on your weekend away was to watch the rugby?

Charming.

Get rid and find someone who truly enjoys your company and who is an actual grown-up.

Bagelsandbrie · 15/02/2022 23:25

You’re not compatible. My ex dh was like this.

If you had got dressed up and done your make up etc he wouldn’t have even noticed I bet. It just isn’t important to him and he’s effectively telling you this. He wants someone who is happy to go out in a t shirt and hoodie and tag along to the matches etc. You want someone who appreciates you getting dressed up, someone who also makes an effort. This is not him and will never be him. Ever.