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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend gone in a mood...was I in the wrong?

85 replies

starlights33 · 15/02/2022 17:18

Sunday we went to Liverpool for two nights.
The train got us in at 1.30pm
The plan was to go out on the night and have a meal and drinks (I bought a new outfit ,quite dressy)
We couldn't check in hotel till 3pm so we dropped bags off at hotel and went into town.
I said il pop into h&m.
He wanted to watch the England rugby match which started at 3pm...so I suggested going to a pub and then checking in to hotel after it finished (around 4.40pm)

He said no he wanted to check in before that.
So we got to hotel for 3.10 pm and he said wanted to go straight out and watch rugby but stay out all night(without me getting changed)
I looked a hot mess,it was raining and miserable.
I said let's go straight out but I need to go back after rugby to change my outfit and top up makeup (half hour tops )
He said he couldn't be bothered to do that as once we were out we should be out.

So he sat in the hotel room face like thunder.
I asked him why he was being like that,he said he wanted to watch rugby in the pub with atmosphere(I said let's go to the pub before we checked in and then i said let's go straight to the pub after we checked in) so he had two chances to go....both wasn't good enough for him.

Was I in the wrong?I wasn't stopping him from watching it
All I wanted was half hour to get changed after it finished.
I would have been out by half 5 regardless

OP posts:
Gilda152 · 15/02/2022 17:46

I don't think you were in the wrong, but I also see his side. At the same time, he clearly wasn't compromising on anything at all so regardless of this, you might be in for a life of doing everything his way or risk him being in a mood...I doubt you'd want that. He could definitely have popped back to the room with you, confused why it was such a big deal. Maybe he didn't think it would end up being half an hour and would actually take much longer and he wasn't up for that?

BornIn78 · 15/02/2022 17:47

@starlights33

The last time we went away in November to Manchester we sat in the pub for 5 hours whilst he watched the Manchester derby (build up and after )
More fool you for subjecting yourself to the same again a second time.
user1481840227 · 15/02/2022 17:59

He sounds awful. Very selfish.

There were lots of couples away for Valentines and it goes without saying that people generally like to wear something nice or put some make up on etc. (whatever makes them feel good).
Most people wouldn't want to sit in a restaurant on valentines day feeling that they looked like a hot mess.

As a woman if I was away with a man and even if it wasn't an occasion like Valentines day if he told me he wanted to freshen up because he felt like a mess I would say no problem at all, even if it was a little inconvenient for me I would hate to have someone feel uncomfortable on their day/night out just because I wanted to stay out.

He sounds like a massive arsehole. Is he controlling in other ways? Does he have an issue with you dressing up?

Gilda152 · 15/02/2022 18:01

Agree as well that if he's that into sports, this is going to be your life. My ex was like this with Man U and England games - the whole world had to stop so he could go to the pub for it. My sister god love her is even worse, she's been an avid Man U fan since 16 (she's 60 now) and has never ever missed watching a match, everything has to revolve around it, to the detriment of everyone and everything else. In fairness to her lovely partner he's on board but I'd have been out the door!

Elieza · 15/02/2022 18:02

What was the arrangement before you went down?

Did either of you do that thing where you say OK I’ll do xyz but inside you think I’ll persuade him/her to do what I want instead….

You wanted H&M and he wanted sport.

It’s always going to be like that, men like that always want sport. In future you have to both compromise and both be honest about what you are prepared to put up with.

Or call it a day and leave him as he won’t change. Sorry OP.

MerryMarigold · 15/02/2022 18:04

You're not painting a very attractive picture of him, OP. I assume he must be totally gorgeous to compensate for acting like a 5 year old.

Together less than a year? Finish it now before you get more entrenched.

miltonj · 15/02/2022 18:04

Yeah he's a weirdo for not letting you go across the road for 30 mins to get ready. As if he couldn't be left on his own with a pint and the rugby!!

HomeHomeInTheRange · 15/02/2022 18:06

God, I wouldn’t want a lifetime of going on holiday to watch sport on TV.

I would quite simply have gone back to the hotel to get changed after the match.

But he is a sulky unpleasant arsehole.

WallaceinAnderland · 15/02/2022 18:08

Are you aware you are second place to sports on tv?

LollyLol · 15/02/2022 18:12

Oh my love this guy is NOT a keeper! Get rid ASAP.

Ionlydomassiveones · 15/02/2022 18:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/02/2022 18:15

Ick. Why are you with this sulking, whinging baby of a man? How distinctly unattractive.

whenwillthemadnessend · 15/02/2022 18:17

This is the sort of thing my dh does.
I give him
An option. He declines then gets all
Pissy. Really gets my goat.

I dont think you are in the wrong.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 15/02/2022 18:19

Throw him back.

Howshouldibehave · 15/02/2022 18:20

@starlights33

The last time we went away in November to Manchester we sat in the pub for 5 hours whilst he watched the Manchester derby (build up and after )
Wow-he sounds like a prince among men.
Karwomannghia · 15/02/2022 18:20

What’s the point in going away when he obviously just wanted to watch sport! He’s got his priorities …

Concestor · 15/02/2022 18:21

I read your thread title and said to myself "almost certainly not", and I was not wrong.

I would just dump him and move on. He sounds dreadful and this isn't going to get any better.

AAAAAGHH · 15/02/2022 18:21

Chuck this sports bore back in the net.

NEXT!

Badbaddog · 15/02/2022 18:22

One year in and this is how it is? Dreary as hell. Is he STILL sulking? However you look at it OP, this one needs to go back in the pool while you head off on the town, glam and gorgeous as you like!

IsThePopeCatholic · 15/02/2022 18:25

Don’t let his interests dictate your life. Find some of your own and dump him.

MrsPsmalls · 15/02/2022 18:25

I don't think he wanted to do the romantic weekend at all did he OP? Let him go. He wont be sorry, and you wont be sorry. You are not suited.

StringFellow · 15/02/2022 18:25

Please don’t be back here in 5 years saying why didn’t you leave now Sad you’re only a year in; this is meant to be honeymoon period!

SamphiretheStickerist · 15/02/2022 18:26

Oh! So he has form and you were hanging in there hoping.

Is he worth it? Is this what you want for the rest of your life?

That's something only you know. But, if I were you, I don't think I could take that level of disinterest in me on a supposedly romantic weekend away, in the first year of a relationship. It seems so demeaning somehow.

Still, you do have a new dress.... maybe you could arrange a night out with peopple who actually want to be with you, go out clean, dressed up and happy!

Shoxfordian · 15/02/2022 18:27

Do you also like sport? Doesn’t sound like much of a romantic weekend to me

XiCi · 15/02/2022 18:30

@starlights33

He was miserable And wanted us back to watch match of the day 2 and the super bowl.
So basically you could have saved the expense of the trip and sat at home watching TV. He sounds a miserable, selfish bore and you could do much better.
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