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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you stay?

34 replies

Whoknows11 · 14/02/2022 20:53

In short been with my boyfriend just over a year but he doesn't love me, can't tell me and doesn't know if and when he will.

Would you stay?

Today has been particularly difficult seeing love everywhere but I don't have it towards me from my boyfriend.

Feeling quite low.

OP posts:
Notwithittoday · 14/02/2022 20:53

No

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 14/02/2022 20:53

Nope.

lomoloko · 14/02/2022 20:54

No

Regularsizedrudy · 14/02/2022 21:07

Fuck no

OldTinHat · 14/02/2022 21:09

Absolutely not.

Unanananana · 14/02/2022 21:09

Another fuck no. Aren't you worth more?

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/02/2022 21:10

Nope

ImpossibleGirl · 14/02/2022 21:12

Nope. Time to end it.

Remember you are worth so much more than this.

"Know your worth, then add tax."

Temporaryrespite · 14/02/2022 21:14

It shouldn't be this hard after only 12 mths op, I'm sorry Flowers

iwishu · 14/02/2022 21:15

No and don't wait for him to end it, have some dignity and end it first.

Really18 · 14/02/2022 21:16

What's your relationship like generally? Is he kind, loving in his behaviour, thoughtful? I wouldn't care about the words if his actions demonstrated love.

Sosigsandwich · 14/02/2022 21:17

No, without hesitation

alltalknobaby · 14/02/2022 21:20

No. Everyone deserves to be loved. Give yourself a chance.

roastingmichael · 14/02/2022 21:24

No.

AtrociousCircumstance · 14/02/2022 21:35

Dump him immediately and get yourself to a lovely therapist to work out why you allowed this to drag on so long.

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/02/2022 21:41

Of course not, why would you?

Get rid of him now, and as above spend some time thinking about why this has happened.

Missnataliex · 14/02/2022 21:41

@Whoknows11

In short been with my boyfriend just over a year but he doesn't love me, can't tell me and doesn't know if and when he will.

Would you stay?

Today has been particularly difficult seeing love everywhere but I don't have it towards me from my boyfriend.

Feeling quite low.

Absolutely not! And so glad I didn't stay with my last ex. Together almost a year and never mentioned the L word. Now I've met someone who I love and adore and vice versa and we are expecting in 5 weeks. So many amazing things await you. Don't settle xxx
popcorn925 · 14/02/2022 21:59

I'm on the fence with this. Does it matter that he hasn't said it if he actually does love you? I'm certain that my bf of over a year loves me, but he hasn't said it. He ticks me in, pulls the covers over me when he thinks I'm asleep in the middle of the night; won't speak to me in phone if I'm handling oven/kettle as doesn't want to distract me, gives good cuddles, massages my feet if I say they're aching, will put a hot water bottle in bed if I'm going to bed before him, texts good morning, good night if we're not together, really listens to me and is loyal. Says he misses me, But I think he would die of awkwardness if he had to say he loves me. I can live with that.

popcorn925 · 14/02/2022 22:01

My exh on the other hand, said he loved me daily, but it felt so empty that I realise now it would make me inwardly cross.

TheFoundation · 14/02/2022 23:14

Self respect is defined by avoiding things that make you feel low, and spending as much time as possible doing things that make you feel good.

HollowTalk · 14/02/2022 23:16

No, I'd move on now.

WallaceinAnderland · 14/02/2022 23:27

No

Elieza · 15/02/2022 00:08

No. Get counselling to help you understand why you’ve stayed this long with someone who doesn’t seem to appreciate you and help you move on.

You deserve better. Life’s too short. The longer you stay with him the longer you are missing out on meeting other guys. Don’t settle. Move on.

You may even find he suddenly changes his tune btw…! Or perhaps he’s just been using you for sex and will never feel like you do. Sorry OP.

I hope you meet someone who deserves your love soon.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/02/2022 00:24

You need to figure out why you're still with a man who you know doesn't love you. Why are your standards so low? Are you desperate to be with a man, no matter what?

Nomorepastry · 15/02/2022 00:33

I've been with someone the same for 6 years and we've gotten absolutely nowhere. He doesn't even want to live with me. Ever. I wish I left years ago