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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anyone else feeling a bit low with it being Valentine’s Day

31 replies

Sweetielou · 14/02/2022 10:08

Woke up this morning and had a bit of a wobble, first Valentine’s Day without my ex . Not that he used to make much effort but still feels strange .

OP posts:
Hen2018 · 14/02/2022 10:34

17th Valentines Day on my own here. The children and i set up a tradition early one so I shall be going out for a meal with my youngest this evening in the same cafe as always!

RedCandyApple · 14/02/2022 10:38

No my ex never got me anything when together so no different today

SpunBodgeSquarepants · 14/02/2022 10:40

Same, @RedCandyApple. I buy my 7yo a card and a little gift every year. I heard him wish his baby brother a Happy Valentines Day this morning which melted my heart. I don't need no man 💪

grapewine · 14/02/2022 10:41

I focus on the cheap chocolate tomorrow.

donesomethingterrible · 14/02/2022 10:42

@grapewine

I focus on the cheap chocolate tomorrow.
🤣🤣🤣 love this
donesomethingterrible · 14/02/2022 10:43

I'm feeling a bit down today too. We are trying to decide whether to separate or continue trying and the whole thought of today just really annoys me to be honest!

MrsLargeEmbodied · 14/02/2022 10:45

also low
crap christmas thanks to H
no hope

52andblue · 14/02/2022 10:47

Really low - but not because it's St V Day especially.
The person I love just found out his cancer has metastasised
He only has a few months left. He doesnt' want to see me (its a LDR)
I have to respect that but its very hard. I've known him 35 years & we've been together for 10 of those. My kids are with their Dad for 3 days. Normally it would be a nice break (only once a year & they have ASD so can be quite demanding). Now, I just don't know what to do.

Bibble69 · 14/02/2022 10:49

Yes, definitely, very low. Today, last year I took my wife into hospital with breathing issues due to her cancer. She passed away 4 days later with her family at her bedside. We'd been married 24 years, together 33 years since school.

Labracadabra · 14/02/2022 10:49

A little bit, yes.
DH got our two DDs (aged 8 and 11) cards which said on the front "Love you always" and "A million Valentine kisses"
For me he got a card which said on the front "All the other cards made me want to vom"
Not the worst for sure but I don't feel great about it

MrsLargeEmbodied · 14/02/2022 10:55

strong memories of being single and lonely and somehow expecting a card

TheSpecialist · 14/02/2022 11:03

It’s really hard for me. We had lovely valentines days together and we broke up just due to little things. Nothing really that major. We just didn’t alert them out.

If he asked me to get back together I probably would. I’m even though it was me that initially ended it.

DoNotTouchTheWater · 14/02/2022 11:19

I’m struggling with Valentine’s Day this year. The relationship with my husband is a mess. We are separated but supposedly trying to work things out.

He’s been a dick on WhatsApp all weekend. I’ve been looking after a sick toddler. He’s been passive aggressive and difficult, and tried to excuse it by saying he’s frustrated with our situation.

He purposefully did something I’d made clear I was unhappy with on Saturday, then messaged on Sunday to have a go and blame me for having maintained my boundaries. I told him I will not be guilt tripped and he should have respected my boundaries in the first place. He knew what they were.

This morning he’s messaged with ‘happy Valentine’s Day xxx’ and questions about what I want to do for dinner tonight. As if nothing has happened. 🙄

I got him a card and a present but, honestly, I can’t bring myself to write the card. What would I write? I don’t want a card or a present from him after a weekend of him being an absolute dick.

I seem to have caught the toddler’s stomach bug though. I’m actually viewing that as a positive at this point.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 14/02/2022 11:35

i am going out with my dm as H has sworn at me!

DoNotTouchTheWater · 14/02/2022 11:36

Good on you @MrsLargeEmbodied

BuddhaForMary · 14/02/2022 11:40

This would be our 13th wedding anniversary. We're separated and it's definitely the right thing but there's a lot swirling around in my head today. Mostly disappointment that he wasn't the man he purported to be. Sad for the marriage I deserved rather than missing the one I had.

TwoCoffeesPlease · 14/02/2022 12:52

I’m feeling low over here as well. Been with DP for 6 years and very happy. Agreed weren’t going to bother with Valentine’s Day, waste of money etc and don’t normally do anything apart from the first year we were together. Feeling sad about it now though and disappointed not to be getting engaged today (that’s another thread I’ve started) ☹️

Penguinwaddler · 14/02/2022 13:59

Yeah feeling low too, first valentine's Day since engagement ended last year (wedding was meant to be next month too). Seeing my friend (also recently single) for dinner tonight though, so that will be quite nice.

BuddhaForMary · 14/02/2022 14:02

ThanksWineCake BrewGin

For all of us Smile

KirstenBlest · 14/02/2022 14:13

I slept really badly last night and was a bit achy yesterday. P#robably cos I went out for a walk in the rain and the coat hood was bugging me.

Woke up far too early and started dwelling on the past - not man-related.I feel wiped out

On the man front there's the "Mostly disappointment that he wasn't the man he purported to be." feeling

crabappleof · 14/02/2022 14:21

@Bibble69

Yes, definitely, very low. Today, last year I took my wife into hospital with breathing issues due to her cancer. She passed away 4 days later with her family at her bedside. We'd been married 24 years, together 33 years since school.
That's a long time @Bibble69 hoping the sun shines for you over the next few days Flowers
crabappleof · 14/02/2022 14:24

@BuddhaForMary

This would be our 13th wedding anniversary. We're separated and it's definitely the right thing but there's a lot swirling around in my head today. Mostly disappointment that he wasn't the man he purported to be. Sad for the marriage I deserved rather than missing the one I had.
I feel the same.

I used to get a bit crotchety watching couples doing 'couply' things, then started to notice couples arguing or being snappy in the supermarket. It's surprising how much you miss when you're bound up in being a couple. As a single woman I notice so much more now and a lot of people seem very unhappy IMO.

So, we're not doing too bad I reckon @BuddhaForMary Flowers

BuddhaForMary · 14/02/2022 14:53

Cheers to us @crabappleof Wine

Californiansunsets · 14/02/2022 19:55

I’m feeling a bit low myself today, first Valentine’s Day without my ex (together for 36 years). We didn’t celebrate valentines day, we used to always say if you can only show someone you love them one day of the year something is wrong.

Tonight he is out with the OW (he told our oldest this), we NEVER went out for dinner on Valentine’s Day, I cannot remember the last time he bought me a card before we split. It’s certainly not their 1st Valentine’s Day together, they were together last valentines too expect he will still with me then too.

I feel really down tonight

Coffee4685 · 14/02/2022 20:24

Me! First time single in four years. Had an uncomfortable exchange with someone at my fitness class this evening and lots of thoughts swirling about that and a relationship I ended two months ago. Hold tight, it’s nearly over!

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