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Original poster

Ex is taking DS to school when there is no one to collect him,

77 replies

Stickitmondaymorning2022 · 14/02/2022 08:41

We’re all in isolation, DS had covid last week and was testing negative Friday/Saturday so went to his fathers, I’ve asked him to bring him home but he’s taken him to school, he cannot pick him up.

DS has ASD and has never walked home on his own before (year 6) and if anything happens we would have to break isolation rules to look for him.

I’m going to tell the school he’s done it against my wishes.

I’m so annoyed and worried.

OP posts:
Mojoj · 14/02/2022 09:56

Why don't you go the whole hog and get a hazmat suit to collect your child? Seriously? Get a grip.

knittingaddict · 14/02/2022 09:58

@Stickitmondaymorning2022

It’s my partner who is more ‘by the book’ than me, would you all continue to break isolation and send your child to school for the rest of the week after today?

My point about it being in England is that we are not close to having no isolation/tests.

If your son has had covid and is well enough to go to school then that is where he should be.

My daughter is a single parents with two children. One by one they went down with covid and they had to find a solution to getting the fit child to school. We (grandarents) did the school runs, but if we hadnt been able to there were school parents who had said that they were willing to help out with getting children to school. It could have been organisged between friends or the class whatsapp group.

In year six and if you have a car it could be possible for your son to walk from the school to your car and I'm sure the school would help to facilitate that in some way if he has ASD.

What I'm trying to say is that a child who is recovered from covid should be in school, whatever that takes.

liveforsummer · 14/02/2022 10:01

What I'm trying to say is that a child who is recovered from covid should be in school, whatever that takes.

Not by breaking isolation twice a day every day though. That's a step too far of course collecting once in an emergency is essential

howtoleaveit · 14/02/2022 10:02

I think you are overreacting. Of course he goes to school if he’s negative. This all needs to stop now. By the end of March there will be no tests and no isolation. Everyone who’s going to get it has now had it and this country cannot keep shutting down. It’s been two years. It’s time to go about your business in a sensible way. I’ve got an unvaccinated friend who is positive right now and she says she’s had worse colds. Stop this overreacting nonsense and go pick your kid up. You go in the car and stay masked up. Or walk stay masked up and stand well away from everyone else. Either way you’re not in contact with anyone. Act as you would if you had a bad cold or a tummy bug. Nobody cares enough about you to report you to the police and if the police are following up someone who breaks isolation now then they need to be reprimanded and given more important work to do. We’ve all had enough now.

Baconking · 14/02/2022 10:03

What country are you in OP?

thelittlestrhino · 14/02/2022 10:06

Y6 I think really really need to be in school as much as possible now if they are well. I've walked several children home (and driven a couple) this year in similar situations (primary teacher).

SeenYourArse · 14/02/2022 10:22

This is literally crazy if the other option is to walk home alone then the sensible OBVIOUS alternative is to collect him in the car and don’t even get out! Go super early and park right outside the exit where he can’t miss seeing you.

WeatherwaxOn · 14/02/2022 10:29

Taking a different viewpoint here, but just wanted to ask - why can't the child's father collect him?
If he's the only well adult then he needs to be making workable arrangements particularly when a child has asd.

RedCandyApple · 14/02/2022 10:33

I wouldn’t just break isolation without speaking to the school, people are saying no one will know but if the school know she’s positive then they will know she’s breaking isolation so I would be careful there and call them and explain.

Tillymintpolo · 14/02/2022 11:06

Sit in the car outside

Beautiful3 · 14/02/2022 11:09

I would call up the school to explain the situation. Ask them to send him out, through the office. Put a mask on and meet him outside school.

FantasticFebruary · 14/02/2022 11:09

@Stickitmondaymorning2022

Also not we’re not in England so that may not be the case here.
That's the sort of thing that's best mentioned in your OP.

Your Ex is a fuckwit!!

However, if there's no one walking your way, or who would walk your way to bring DS home then I'd either arrange a taxi if possible or the least symptomatic person masks up and walks to meet him. No way would DS be walking home alone for the first time in this situation.

Even if someone reports you, there's no way anything is going to happen because you walked outside to collect a child with SEN from primary school.

Tillymintpolo · 14/02/2022 11:11

I think you’re making this into a much bigger deal than it needs to be because you’re annoyed at your ex

nitsandwormsdodger · 14/02/2022 11:15

Said kindly ...Are you autistic too? Because you are being a bit ridged, ask school to pop him out the front gate alone 20 mins earlier , you can have a mask on two metres away and take him home
No need for all this anxiety,

nitsandwormsdodger · 14/02/2022 11:16

Oh and goes without saying your ex is a total unhelpful knob

MrsSkylerWhite · 14/02/2022 11:17

Stickitmondaymorning2022

It’s very interesting that hardly anyone is commenting on the fact his Dad thinks it’s fine to have done this against my wishes.“

Because the immediate issue is how to collect your child.

Phos · 14/02/2022 11:17

Tell the school then. Not going to solve your supposed issue is it.

Original poster
Stickitmondaymorning2022 · 14/02/2022 11:21

His father can’t get out of work and has also said he hasn’t got enough money for petrol to pick him up.

As I said it’s more my partner that has issue with me going to collect him, however does agree that it would not be safe for him to walk home alone.

I’ve messaged the school and I’m hoping they will say I can pick him up earlier and that will be good enough for my DP not to fret.

OP posts:
GoingtoGlasgow · 14/02/2022 11:23

Your ex is a twat. Why didn't he just bring him home to you. As for breaking isolation, I don't think the police would find and if they did I doubt they would prosecute you, if there was no other way to get your son home.

Crimesean · 14/02/2022 11:35

You're massively overthinking this. He's not ill, he needs to be in school, especially after the disruption covid has already caused to his education.

Either you drive to get him and don't get out of the car, or (if you can't drive) you walk to get him, maintaining social distancing and wearing a mask.

Your ex has done the right thing.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/02/2022 11:38

@Stickitmondaymorning2022

It’s very interesting that hardly anyone is commenting on the fact his Dad thinks it’s fine to have done this against my wishes.
No he's definitely a dick. He knows the rules and doesn't care because it's not his issue. But the bigger issue is making sure DS is safe, which is what people are commenting on
BobHadBitchTits · 14/02/2022 11:49

Who gives a fuck what your partner thinks?

Your son needs to be picked up from school.

IncompleteSenten · 14/02/2022 11:59

Yes your ex was being very thoughtless but it's done now.
I'd be fuming with him.

The country that you live in - what are the consequences for breaking isolation? Is there guidance on exceptions?

Kilimanjaro97 · 14/02/2022 12:10

It’s very interesting that hardly anyone is commenting on the fact his Dad thinks it’s fine to have done this against my wishes

Actually, my reading of this is that it is all about the relationship between you and your ex.
The issue with the pick up is easily resolved. Thousands of parents and the majority of schools deal successfully with this scenario every day as they have done for the past two years.

You are unhappy that your ex did not respect your request to bring your DC home rather than take him to school.

Your ex presumably believes it is in the child‘s best interests to continue to attend school.

I hope you are both big enough to keep your disagreements away from your DC.

HandWash · 14/02/2022 12:19

It's none of your DP's business what you do, he definitely s not your keeper.

Your DS needs to go to school and needs collecting, so put him first rather than your partner.