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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Men’s opinion on hysterectomies

58 replies

Shesheadingonin · 13/02/2022 22:53

A question for the men please. If you were seeing a woman in her 30s or 40s and had a loving, tactile relationship and didn’t want any more kids, would you be put off if you found out your partner had a hysterectomy? I can’t imagine why but genuinely interested to know if anyone even cares?

My current partner of 7 months has absolutely no idea. He has commented that it’s refreshing that I don’t complain when I’m on my period as that has been his experience. I still ovulate and get some discomfort/cramps but no bleeding.

I plan to tell him but wondered if guys are really bothered?

OP posts:
Grimsknee · 14/02/2022 06:10

God what a classic.
The average man's whinging about his latest back/knee pain, sports injury, mild cold symptoms, or how terribly tired he is because he only slept 6 hours last night, absolutely drowns out the average woman's whinging about periods.

Icantgetalifeifmyheartsnotinit · 14/02/2022 06:17

You're a lucky girl Hmm

AlexaShutUp · 14/02/2022 06:22

I also agree that the period comments are a massive red flag, I'm afraid.

coldfeetmama · 14/02/2022 06:24

I love it when men don't even realise how transparent they are

Such a shame as women we don't see it till it's pointed out to us

Get rid love

tara66 · 14/02/2022 06:30

I don't think many ''guys'' on here to answer from the horse's mouth unfortunately.

Anothergreatday · 14/02/2022 06:31

@Grimsknee

God what a classic. The average man's whinging about his latest back/knee pain, sports injury, mild cold symptoms, or how terribly tired he is because he only slept 6 hours last night, absolutely drowns out the average woman's whinging about periods.
Not to mention … man flu
BlueCupOrangeCup · 14/02/2022 07:04

Never ever ever ever date a man who 'compliments' you with "you're not like other women because...."

Absolutely enormous red flag OP.

Pay attention. Please.

NeilBuchananisBanksy · 14/02/2022 07:07

I don't like his comments about periods but I don't get it. Surely he's realised you don't have them?

Also did you not have a discussion about contraception? Surely it would come up then?

Anothergreatday · 14/02/2022 07:07

@tara66

I don't think many ''guys'' on here to answer from the horse's mouth unfortunately.
Oh , there are a few horses mouths who believe that women apparently have no right to complain about pain and discomfort
Shesheadingonin · 14/02/2022 11:16

The ‘dick’ and ‘get rid’ comments aren’t a surprise really. You’ve all jumped on one paragraph, I can’t really give you our full relationship in one post, nor would I want to.
I agree, he doesn’t need to know unless he asks. We use condoms and we are late forties and have teenagers. Thanks for your replies.

OP posts:
ChickenStripper · 14/02/2022 11:25

I don't understand why this wouldn't have come up as regards no need for contraception unless you don't trust each other re having sex with others. I would be thinking you had lied about something fairly crucial.

ComtesseDeSpair · 14/02/2022 12:32

Surely when he’s mentioned you “not complaining” about periods is when you would just say “oh, I don’t get periods anymore, I had a hysterectomy after my last DC” or whatever? He doesn’t need to know, no; but since he’s made a comment made in context that would seem like a relevant time to mention it.

Maireas · 14/02/2022 12:34

refreshing
What an arse.

gogohm · 14/02/2022 12:37

As they are only done if necessary, why should any man have a negative opinion?

rumred · 14/02/2022 12:40

I'm surprised you don't talk to one another in depth, it wouldn't occur to me to keep any surgeries secret from my partner. If I was him I'd be worried what else you aren't discussing. But if I was him I wouldn't come out with shite about periods either.

Shesheadingonin · 14/02/2022 12:41

True, I should have said something when he mentioned periods. Feel like I’ve left it too long now.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 14/02/2022 12:42

It’s one paragraph you chose to include. The posters picking up on as looking out for you more than your boyfriend is.

Do you think you’re a better girlfriend than women who have periods? Either way why is it okay that he thinks so?

AnyFucker · 14/02/2022 12:45

I don’t understand why you have made it such an elephant in the room. It seems like both of you have issues with the practicalities of being female

What did you say when he congratulated you on not complaining about your periods ? Did you just simper and thank him for his manly wisdom ? Confused

Maireas · 14/02/2022 12:52

@Shesheadingonin

True, I should have said something when he mentioned periods. Feel like I’ve left it too long now.
Listen to people on here. Seriously. The "refreshing" remark does not indicate a man who has much empathy with women's issues.
rumred · 14/02/2022 12:53

@AnyFucker 😁

rumred · 14/02/2022 12:53

That should have been 😁

youvegottenminuteslynn · 14/02/2022 12:56

He has commented that it’s refreshing that I don’t complain when I’m on my period as that has been his experience.

Bless him, the poor lamb having to listen to his ex husband partners complain about being in pain.

You know what my partner does when I complain about my period? He's nice to me and doesn't make it about him. Because he's not a prick.

lesgalettes · 14/02/2022 12:59

Strange that you've never mentioned it to him. It is sort of his business as I'm sure you must have discussed contraception, and what precautions either of you should use? And if you're having sex then how can he not know that you don't have periods? I've had a hysterectomy and I'm very open about it and although wouldn't talk about it straight away, I think it would feel strange to not tell a new partner when in a relationship.

Threewheeler1 · 14/02/2022 13:01

@mathanxiety

No, it's because he is a dick.

Anyone who tells you you are better than other women because X, Y, or Z is someone to steer clear of.

In this case, his 'compliment' is a backhanded swipe at women in general, and evidence that he is pig ignorant of women's health.

Periods and other uterus-related issues cause huge problems for many women and tend to be ignored and dismissed.

I would drop this man if I were you. He's not a catch.

I love this post. Neat summary!
Shesheadingonin · 14/02/2022 15:05

Thank you for your opinions.

OP posts:
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