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Original poster

Anonymous Valentines card

38 replies

countrylady2 · 09/02/2022 19:06

I have received an anonymous Valentines card through the post. The man has said he has admired me for a long time and he thinks I have a nice bum. I'm not sure if I am supposed to be flattered. A man in his 40s who lacks confidence and has only referred to my looks/body parts is not someone who I would consider as a life partner. I just find it creepy doing it anonymously.

OP posts:
ladydimitrescu · 09/02/2022 19:14

How do you know how old he is if it's anonymous?

Original poster
countrylady2 · 09/02/2022 19:18

@ladydimitrescu Only a few men in their 40s know where I live.

OP posts:
Ionlydomassiveones · 09/02/2022 19:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

DatingDinosaur · 09/02/2022 19:27

Wish someone would tell me I had a nice bum.

Wish someone would send me a valentine’s card.

Why does it creep you out @countrylady2 ?

PaddleBoardingMomma · 09/02/2022 19:30

Oh god, I had this when I was 19 working in a quiet village pub. The clientele were all the old boys, not a one under 40 and the card read along the lines of "I come here just to see you, I think about touching you shiver when our hands touch as you hand me my change, see if you can guess who I am"

I HATED IT. I hated every single shift after that, I was wondering who was looking at me, suspicious of everyone, felt like I was being watched, it was really horrible 😞

Original poster
countrylady2 · 09/02/2022 23:30

A bit freaked out now as it looks like an ex partner's writing and he was dangerous and abusive. I just don't like the fact this person knows where I live and I don't know who they are. Especially since women are getting killed a lot now.

OP posts:
PaddleBoardingMomma · 09/02/2022 23:33

@countrylady2

A bit freaked out now as it looks like an ex partner's writing and he was dangerous and abusive. I just don't like the fact this person knows where I live and I don't know who they are. Especially since women are getting killed a lot now.
Do you have any way of contacting this ex? Tentatively trying to ascertain if it is him? That's a really scary situation, I'm sorry you're being subjected to it because some men are just creepy twats.
Original poster
countrylady2 · 09/02/2022 23:44

@PaddleBoardingMomma He knew where I lived when we were dating. I will have to see if I kept an old card off him to check his writing as I virtually shredded everything off him. It was over 10 years ago so I don't know why he would start now.

OP posts:
layladomino · 10/02/2022 12:36

I get why you don't like this. A few years ago, I received a hand delivered card. No idea who it came from, but presumed someone fairly local as it was hand delivered. It isn't a lovely romantic thing is it... you spend your time wondering who sent it / did they intend to make you nervous / will they follow up with someone else / was it someone with dubious intentions (in my case it turned out to be that).

DerAlteMann · 10/02/2022 13:39

I always thought valentines were supposed to be anonymous! When did this change?

RedCandyApple · 10/02/2022 13:42

If he knows where you live then he already knows and as he hasn’t done anything in 10 years?? then I don’t think it’s him by the sounds of it. It would creep me out as well though.

Kenwouldmixitup · 10/02/2022 13:49

Yep. Creepy if sent to your house. Intruding on your privacy. You are an adult. In the adult world, people make an explicit effort not a shadowy approach. The bit about ‘your bum’, yuk. I’d pity the poor person who clearly has zero social skills.

You will have your own intuition how best to respond or not. Flowers

shouldhavewouldhave · 10/02/2022 14:50

Yes this is creepy and intrusive.

I wonder what the purpose of sending the card is?

Cas112 · 10/02/2022 15:04

So creepy!

maras2 · 10/02/2022 15:17

Whoever it is they're a bit thick. Smile
Not Valentines Day till the 14th.

RedCandyApple · 10/02/2022 16:19

Probably posted it early so it got there on time, sounds like it was posted not hand delivered

AlternativePerspective · 10/02/2022 16:25

Valentines are meant to be anonymous though.

Not saying you’re wrong for not liking it, but traditionally valentines were always anonymous, until people started sending them to their friends, their kids, the cat and so on.

girlmom21 · 10/02/2022 16:42

I'd pop it in the recycling and forget about if. The alternative is to put it on display - it'd probably encourage him if he saw it on your windowsill.

TeaStory · 10/02/2022 16:51

I hate the whole “Valentines are supposed to be anonymous” thing. They haven’t been like that for a long time, and sending an anonymous note, to a woman’s home, that objectifies her body doesn’t suddenly become okay because it’s in a card with a heart on the front.

PeanutShell01 · 10/02/2022 16:52

The anonymous bit isn't creepy but the bum bit is.

It seems a very er, basic and dumb thing to say. How did he say it exactly? It's like something a toddler would say, 'I like Sam because Sam has a red bag and red is nice and red is my favourite colour'.

I have zero tolerance for men's pathetic bullshit these days so it would piss me off, I'd just chuck it straight in the bin and be irritated that I'd given out my address.

TheDogsMother · 10/02/2022 16:53

Not to diminish any of the creepiness comments but I had one many years ago and could not work out who it was from. The card was in a plastic bag under my windscreen wiper where I parked near to work. When I took it home the cat started going mad for the bag which, when I sniffed it, smelled of raw beef. Turned out it was the young guy working at the butchers nearby Grin

LocalHobo · 10/02/2022 16:58

I wasn't aware that Valentines are no longer meant to be anonymous They haven’t been like that for a long time.
When/ where do you check for rule changes regarding traditions?
Sorry your life experience makes this a horrible event countrylady2

MissMaple82 · 10/02/2022 17:05

Oh just enjoy it for what it is, a bit of fun and excitement

Original poster
countrylady2 · 10/02/2022 18:17

@layladomino Yeah, it has creeped me out as so many women get killed as people tell them they are overthinking or just to laugh it off.

A friend keeps telling me to go to the Police as she got someone cautioned for calling her a lot. I doubt the Police will investigate an anonymous card.

OP posts:
Original poster
countrylady2 · 10/02/2022 18:19

@RedCandyApple It could be my ex as my friend still speaks to him even though he was an abuser as she knows this. He would get a criminal record now since the law has changed if he did what he did now. She still speaks to him as she used to date his best mate and can't let go of our memories we had as a group of 4. The guys are no longer friends. I have not spoke to him in over 11 years. Being the creep he is it could be him as the writing is so similar. Knowing her she probably told him I am single.

OP posts: