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Original poster

I’m starting to hate my ex

37 replies

TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 06:52

Hi everyone

I had a turbulent start to my previous relationship, he was getting it on with others for the first six weeks. He lied and tricked me with find my friends on my iPhone to change his location etc. He also went organising sex with someone else after telling me that he loved me. So the rot set in. I realise now that I never trusted him after these events. We tried and it just broke each time.

I finally emailed him last May saying that it wouldn’t work due to not being able to trust him.

We tried to be friends and still kept in touch as we do get on.

Out of the blue at new year he stated “I don’t love you in the same way and I don’t see a future for us”. Which took my by surprise considering I finished it with him six months earlier.

It hit me really hard and made me consider if I’d made a mistake. Why is this? Even though I don’t trust him, I find myself being in love with him. Potentially I’m seeing things through rose tinted glasses. But I’m in a danger zone as we are still
Talking and if he said let’s try again, I probably would even though I didn’t want that before he’d declared he didn’t love me the same.

Just a bit lost.

OP posts:
coldfeetmama · 01/02/2022 06:56

Give your head a wobble
Spend time with good friends
Start up a new hobby or fun activity

You deserve better 💐

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 01/02/2022 07:03

What on earth are you doing with this loser?

He has shown you from the start that he lies and cheats and has multiple women on the go.

Why would you even go back there? You seriously need to raise your standards.

Original poster
TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 07:15

I forgot to say. He even says. “We’re not in the same place…but I can’t predict the future”

I broke up with him. It’s like a weird reverse psychology!

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 01/02/2022 07:17

You're in control here. Just block him!

Why on earth are you even taking to someone who treats you with such disregarded contempt??

Some women really are their own worst enemies!

GreyCarpet · 01/02/2022 07:18

Disregard and contempt

GreyCarpet · 01/02/2022 07:19

And you're not 'in love with him. That's how you've chosen to read the emotions you are experiencing.

Doyoumind · 01/02/2022 07:21

He's playing with you so he has tfe upper hand. Just block him. Why would you need him as a friend?

Starlightstarbright1 · 01/02/2022 07:24

Out if self respect you need to block him.. He is ex for a very good reason.

Sunbird24 · 01/02/2022 07:25

Why do you want to be friends with a man who lies to his girlfriend and cheats like that? Willing to bet if he was a friend’s ex who’d done that to her you’d know what to tell her, so give yourself the same care you’d give her and get him out of your life. If you got back with him he’d be even worse because you’d have proved that he can get away with anything…

madisonbridges · 01/02/2022 07:25

You finished with him because he was a cheating, untrustworthy louse.
He then made out that he was finishing with you because he's a manipulative loser.
Stop chatting with him. Next thing you know, you'll be a booty call. I mean how badly does a man have to treat you before you find some self-respect.
Sorry, that was harsh. Sorry. But, come on, is he really the best you can do and don't you think you're worth better?

torquewench · 01/02/2022 07:26

A couple of replies for you:

Dear Ex

I refer you to my email of last May when I ended our relationship because you couldn't keep it in your pants.

Regards,

The Specialist

Or: "did you mean to send this to me or is it intended for your latest victim?'

Or just: 👍

Then block. What a bellend

Toanewstart22 · 01/02/2022 07:28

Op

What has happened in your life to make you think that this is was a loving relationship is?

Original poster
TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 07:32

@torquewench

A couple of replies for you:

Dear Ex

I refer you to my email of last May when I ended our relationship because you couldn't keep it in your pants.

Regards,

The Specialist

Or: "did you mean to send this to me or is it intended for your latest victim?'

Or just: 👍

Then block. What a bellend

Love this.
OP posts:
Original poster
TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 07:33

@Toanewstart22

Op

What has happened in your life to make you think that this is was a loving relationship is?

Good point.

He is a very deceitful, manipulative little twat.

OP posts:
Toanewstart22 · 01/02/2022 07:34

Do you have children op?

Original poster
TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 07:37

No. Thank god!

OP posts:
User310 · 01/02/2022 07:51

Did you feel you still loved him before his new years email?

Original poster
TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 07:52

It’s funny, my previous relationship of 10 years was lovely, he had my back, I trusted him and he was a really genuine guy. I couldn’t say that about this one. Not one bit.

ALL of my friends dislike him. They said from the start “doesn’t seem genuine”

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 07:59

@User310

Did you feel you still loved him before his new years email?
No. I was over him. Of course I care for him but I’d moved on.
OP posts:
User310 · 01/02/2022 08:53

I think in that case you suffering with a little bout of damaged ego. He’s used reverse psychology, by saying you can’t have him he’s made you feel as though you are missing out on something.

You really aren’t, just the simple fact that he’s pulled this shows he’s incredibly manipulative, childish and playing games.

Most of us have been there. Stop giving him the head space, he sent that message because YOU are too good for him and he couldn’t stand the rejection.

User310 · 01/02/2022 08:53

You’re

Original poster
TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 09:10

@User310

I think in that case you suffering with a little bout of damaged ego. He’s used reverse psychology, by saying you can’t have him he’s made you feel as though you are missing out on something.

You really aren’t, just the simple fact that he’s pulled this shows he’s incredibly manipulative, childish and playing games.

Most of us have been there. Stop giving him the head space, he sent that message because YOU are too good for him and he couldn’t stand the rejection.

This: he couldn’t stand the rejection.

This is the nail on the head!!!

OP posts:
allinadaystwerk · 01/02/2022 09:15

Tell him to piss right off as you were done with him in May! Then straighten your crown and strut into a brilliant February.

torquewench · 01/02/2022 09:20

I had an ex like this, lovebombed me at first, then basically ignored me for months, I ended it, he hoovered me back in, telling me how much he loved me, how he'd never loved anyone else the way he loved me and how we were meant to be together etc. one minute, but telling me he'd have no trouble replacing the next. And he's an overweight, borderline alcoholic, porn addled, narrow minded, sexist pig who hasn't brushed his teeth in about 6 years and has nothing to offer. So glad he's out of my life now. Ugh what WAS I thinking? Oh and he thinks he ended it because he'd had enough of my nonsense (i.e. my not wanting to move in with him and lose my financial independence, or live with his messy hoarding tendencies).

Original poster
TheSpecialist · 01/02/2022 09:56

@allinadaystwerk

Tell him to piss right off as you were done with him in May! Then straighten your crown and strut into a brilliant February.
Indeed!!

And this is what I am going to do.

This was my choice.

OP posts:
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