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Original poster

Has anyone ever gone straight from one relationship to the next?

39 replies

snoringtizer · 31/01/2022 22:40

I'm in the process of separating from OH of 9 years. I've met someone else and I like him.
Does this ever work though?? Has anyone ever got with someone soon after a long term relationship and it actually lasted?

OP posts:
RedCandyApple · 31/01/2022 22:41

Most people seem to tbh

Jinglebellsoncake · 31/01/2022 22:43

I haven't been single since I was 15. I have always gone from one relationship to another. I'm 30 now.

Valdes · 31/01/2022 22:43

Never seen it work IME, sorry. Time alone is so underrated, do you feel you rely on others often or is this just a chance attraction?

EarthSight · 31/01/2022 22:50

It's entirely dependent on the situation and the person.

The only thing I would say to watch out for is not giving yourself enough alone time to think about what happened. You can also over-correct - so let's say in one relationship your partner was a loud, boisterous extroverted type who was always out with the lads, you could over-correct by going for someone who've very very introverted and quiet. It might be refreshing if you're immediately out of a relationship with a loud ex-partner, but it might not be right for you longterm.

Northernsoullover · 31/01/2022 22:53

@Jinglebellsoncake

I haven't been single since I was 15. I have always gone from one relationship to another. I'm 30 now.
Do you wait until you have the next lined up before jumping ship? I've never done it myself but plenty of my friends have done it. It seems to work but they usually have someone in the background before they end their current relationship.
ComtesseDeSpair · 31/01/2022 22:54

I think the problem is that most women who go straight from relationship to relationship with little break in between do so because they’re scared of being on their own, or derive a lot of their self worth from having a partner, or have low self esteem and are easily reeled in by the first man to show them some attention and say nice things about them. That’s not the basis for a healthy relationship, doesn’t give them time to process what went wrong in their previous relationship and it leaves them vulnerable to abuse and being taken advantage of.

Of course, sometimes you can also be leaving a healthy relationship where you just stopped loving each other or grew apart, and shortly after meet somebody else by chance without looking. In those cases you probably have a reasonable chance of making it work.

You’ll probably have some idea which of those categories you fall into.

TheFoundation · 31/01/2022 23:01

Some work, some don't. Happens all the time, both ways.

What difference does it make to you what experiences other people have had? If everyone said 'It never works', would you leave the new person?

newmum2be101 · 31/01/2022 23:05

I left exP of ten years last year and met a guy at work who I really liked very shortly after. We are currently buying a house and have a baby on the way and I genuinely couldn't be happier. Makes me wonder what I was thinking all those years.

HowIMetYourDog · 31/01/2022 23:16

Yes I've done that. Two weeks after dumping my asshole ex-boyfriend I met my now DH. I was all ready to do the single thing and be on my own when I saw this hot guy at the bar who ended up as a one night stand that turned into a lovely relationship then marriage.

ChipButtyCurrySauce · 01/02/2022 07:31

@Jinglebellsoncake

I haven't been single since I was 15. I have always gone from one relationship to another. I'm 30 now.
I'm the same! Never more than a few days between relationships, including husband #1 and #2! Not been single since I was 15. Mid 40's now.
thethreemuskateers · 01/02/2022 10:51

My ex did this after almost 19 years and he seems to be happy. I was tempted to move on in an attempt to try and make him jealous but I’ve been on my own for 9 months and I’m loving it.

alm23x · 01/02/2022 11:10

I separated from my awful ex of 10 years and five months later met my current partner who I've now been with almost a year - he's literally the most amazing man. I think it depends how over your past relationship you are, and how supportive the new man is. I was over my marriage emotionally long before we actually split, which made it far easier and my current partner has been there for me through everything! I wasn't looking to jump back into a relationship but when it feels right you can't ignore it xx

Anthurium · 01/02/2022 11:11

It's possible but since a lot of relationships don't work out in the long run anyway regardless of how they started out I'd see how it goes.

Musttryharder2021 · 01/02/2022 11:14

I find it incredible that people manage to meet people they find attractive and then also compatible for a relationship... Maybe they just settle quickly and justify it to themselves with " when you know, you know" type-like argument.

litterbird · 01/02/2022 11:28

A lot of end-of-relationdship processing can happen when you are separating. If you have found someone you like I would go for it. Dont think he is your knight in shining armour but just someone to have a bit of fun with. Watch out that you dont fall too quickly as this will just be the rebound thing going on. Just do what you feel is right for you.

Squeezyhug · 01/02/2022 11:40

It depends on when you checked out emotionally from your current relationship really.

If you are ending the relationship it’s easier to go into a new one.

If your OH ended it and it was a bit of a shock, you risk going into a rebound situation for the sake of not being alone but emotionally you are still in your most recent relationship.
If you see what I mean?

thethreemuskateers · 01/02/2022 11:44

@Musttryharder2021

I find it incredible that people manage to meet people they find attractive and then also compatible for a relationship... Maybe they just settle quickly and justify it to themselves with " when you know, you know" type-like argument.
Yeah I know what you mean, I was gobsmaked with who my ex moved on with as for years he used to say how much he couldn’t stand her children.

But she pretty much offered it on a plate so there was no chasing involved. Some people just settle for what they can get.

MissMaple82 · 01/02/2022 11:48

After a year of being in a relationship, you're bound to be happy, you're in the honeymoon period, you don't know who you are actually going out with yet!!

Bekind2yourself · 01/02/2022 12:19

Left my partner of 7 years. Started relationship with my now husband within two weeks. We celebrated our 20th anniversary last week. 🥰

SallyWD · 01/02/2022 12:37

Yes. I split with my ex of 9 years and immediately got together with my current DH. For context, the relationship between my ex and I had been dead for a couple of years. He'd moved away to study and we both knew it was over. I got together with someone who was already a good friend and we'd always liked each other. We're now married, been together 19 years and have 2 children.

thepeopleversuswork · 01/02/2022 12:40

I genuinely can't understand people who do this. I find it baffling that anyone could be mentally/emotionally ready for another relationship when one has just broken down.

I think its a bad idea in principle anyway: you need to be at peace with who you are on your own before you can hope to achieve happiness anyway. I think being constantly attached to a man massively limits you and stunts your development. It's impossible to see yourself clearly and understand your needs if you're always one half of a couple.

But I have to admit I have tried it in the past mainly to see if it could be a way to help me get over someone and its always been a disaster and usually triggered a meltdown in self-esteem.

I know everyone is different but I just can't understand how people make this work...

Anthurium · 01/02/2022 13:18

@thepeopleversuswork

I genuinely can't understand people who do this. I find it baffling that anyone could be mentally/emotionally ready for another relationship when one has just broken down.

I think its a bad idea in principle anyway: you need to be at peace with who you are on your own before you can hope to achieve happiness anyway. I think being constantly attached to a man massively limits you and stunts your development. It's impossible to see yourself clearly and understand your needs if you're always one half of a couple.

But I have to admit I have tried it in the past mainly to see if it could be a way to help me get over someone and its always been a disaster and usually triggered a meltdown in self-esteem.

I know everyone is different but I just can't understand how people make this work...

This!
93lu86 · 01/02/2022 13:26

I split from partner of 9 years last year, he was with someone new straight away and with a baby on the way a month after...each to their own I suppose. However I think he just could not be on his own so had to jump in straightaway. I haven't looked for anything or anyone else and am enjoying time to myself plus I'm scared to let anyone close due to how awful my ex treated me! Time will tell I suppose...

TedMullins · 01/02/2022 13:35

I honestly don't understand how people do this! The last serious relationship I had, where I lived with someone, was 10 years ago and it only lasted a year. It's the longest relationship I've ever had.

Between then and now, I've had various short-term things but nothing has worked out, and I've gone months, years even without meeting anyone I like enough to consider dating (or who liked me enough). I've been dumped several times by people who don't want a relationship. I do want a relationship, but the time being single has also been incredibly valuable in learning who I am and finding contentment within myself. I definitely made the mistake in the past of trying to rush into things too quickly, but now I'm in probably the best mental health I've ever been in my life, and genuinely at peace with the thought of being single forever or finding the occasional FWB.

How do people manage to find someone so easily that they want a relationship with, and who also wants a relationship with them? I genuinely don't get it. Even when I really put effort in and was out on dates every night of the week I either didn't fancy anyone I met or they didn't fancy me!

RoseMAR · 01/02/2022 13:56

I met DH whilst my last relationship was coming to a nasty end - ex was abusive and just horrid. We'd been together 1.5 years, met DH at work when I moved to the coast, managed to pluck up the courage to dump the ex 4 weeks after meeting DH. We've been together 8 years now, 2 kids and some exciting plans ahead.

Definitely possible, but I think it all depends on the person, the previous relationship and what future you see with the new person x