Page 2 | Has anyone ever gone straight from one relationship to the next?

snoringtizer · 2022-01-31T22:40:35+00:00

I'm in the process of separating from OH of 9 years. I've met someone else and I like him. Does this ever work though?? Has anyone ever got with someone soon after a long term relationship and it actually lasted?

FreedomforWA · 01/02/2022 14:16

Not me but DP. He was in a 10 year relationship that ended 2 months before we met. It threw me when he told me but we made the decision to just see what happens. We are now 7 years down the line, 2 children and still very happy. He did say at the time that his relationship should have ended 2 years prior so that probably contributed to him being able to move on quickly.

thepeopleversuswork · 01/02/2022 14:27

@TedMullins

How do people manage to find someone so easily that they want a relationship with, and who also wants a relationship with them? I genuinely don't get it. Even when I really put effort in and was out on dates every night of the week I either didn't fancy anyone I met or they didn't fancy me!

Low standards and putting being in a relationship ahead of absolutely every other priority.

Isis1981uk · 01/02/2022 14:32

Yep, I separated from my exh start of September, he moved out start of October, and I met my current partner end of November & we've been together 3.5 years now. But I was emotionally detached & ready to move on years before I broke off my marriage so I knew it wasn't just a security thing or a rebound.

Santahasjoinedww · 01/02/2022 14:36

I kicked exh out in June 2012. Had a 3 month fling with an energetic soldier . Met a stranger in a bar in November 2012 .
Been nearly 10 years now. Married with a dc..

fantasmasgoria1 · 01/02/2022 15:00

A few months after my last relationship I met my Fiance and we have been together over 5 years.

Musttryharder2021 · 01/02/2022 21:19

Out of interest, when people say "meet" how random was it, in a bar/ at work or were you deliberately on dating apps searching for a partner? Otherwise, it's incredible that so many people just 'met' someone out of the blue

Santahasjoinedww · 01/02/2022 21:24

Met dh in a wine bar one Saturday night.
Been together ever since.
Had an odd feeling I needed to go out that night..

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/02/2022 00:08

I went straight into another relationship after I left my exdh. However I lived alone for a year and had basically my own life before we moved in together etc.

RoseSays · 02/02/2022 00:19

All the time.
I'm not sure it's healthy to do it every single time, but I think most people do it every now and then.
The heart wants what the heart wants.

RoseSays · 02/02/2022 00:20

[quote thepeopleversuswork]@TedMullins

How do people manage to find someone so easily that they want a relationship with, and who also wants a relationship with them? I genuinely don't get it. Even when I really put effort in and was out on dates every night of the week I either didn't fancy anyone I met or they didn't fancy me!

Low standards and putting being in a relationship ahead of absolutely every other priority.[/quote]
And pot luck

Shablam · 02/02/2022 00:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 02/02/2022 06:41

I'm 57 and have never not been in a relationship since I was 14 - some serious, some not so serious.

BTYU · 02/02/2022 10:24

@onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad

Why do you think that is? It also intrigues me
How some people seem to really struggle to attract anyone even when single for ages yet some seem to be able to move on and meet someone really quickly.

MixMatch · 02/02/2022 18:22

@TedMullins

I honestly don't understand how people do this! The last serious relationship I had, where I lived with someone, was 10 years ago and it only lasted a year. It's the longest relationship I've ever had.

Between then and now, I've had various short-term things but nothing has worked out, and I've gone months, years even without meeting anyone I like enough to consider dating (or who liked me enough). I've been dumped several times by people who don't want a relationship. I do want a relationship, but the time being single has also been incredibly valuable in learning who I am and finding contentment within myself. I definitely made the mistake in the past of trying to rush into things too quickly, but now I'm in probably the best mental health I've ever been in my life, and genuinely at peace with the thought of being single forever or finding the occasional FWB.

How do people manage to find someone so easily that they want a relationship with, and who also wants a relationship with them? I genuinely don't get it. Even when I really put effort in and was out on dates every night of the week I either didn't fancy anyone I met or they didn't fancy me!

@TedMullins It's because you've got standards and are secure enough to be able to spend time single. A lot of people just want to be in a relationship since they're not secure in themselves.

It's why so many long term relationships break down. A lot of people don't reflect on what's truly important in the long term so instead of dating in the proper sense I.e. various shorter term relationships where you only progress into longer term with the right person, they just stay in longer term relationships they should have left a long time ago because they don't want to be alone/not noticing important issues about the other person which makes them incompatible in the long term, and just move from person to person.