Where do I find someone?

[NorthGirlie]

Hello,
I’m out of a long, loveless/sexless marriage. Bottom line…I wasn’t attracted to him and realised, as I matured, I’d made a massive mistake. We’ve been apart over a year now. I ended it. Divorce almost finalised. I spent many years pretending I could live with someone that I wasn’t attracted to - I couldn’t - it wasn’t fair on me, nor him. Age gap, differences and lack of connection were just a few of the reasons I had to end it. My happiness was non-existent.

Anyway, I was thinking of the future. I was never one for dating much when I was young (probably why I ended up with someone who didn’t connect with me) so have no idea what to do now. I’m almost 50 btw. Where on earth do I meet anyone? Any advice? I’m still attractive - so I am told.
What’s the best thing to do?

@partlemoon

That's rather bleak pessimistic outlook *@mumieone* I'm already apprehensive about trying online dating. I don't feel ready at the moment.

I'm late 30s, teenage child, so I'd have to date multi-dating 50 year olds below my own looks level and be thankful for that?

I was hoping I might meet someone handsome (vaguely) my own age. I currently work from home so opportunities to meet anyone are few and far between.

Honestly just go for it. There are guys who you will be interested in and who will be interested in you. I've found a few nice guys - just not got me - on there and I don't meet men in real life, so I'll be OLD til the end of my days...

I know at least 3 people in long term relationships who met their partners on OLD. I met my H on POF. I used Match and POF and no crazies. I was older than you @NorthGirlie.

@NorthGirlie really great to read you have made progress on the dating front! I hope your date goes well! Report back.

He was actually very nice! And, I got a quick kiss (unexpectedly) at the end. And, he wants to see me again!

Obviously, I am treading with caution. He lives a little out of my preferred zone but we are half hour away from each other. But, I keep telling myself, there are plenty of fish in the sea and I should go fishing!

As a girl who was always nervous of dating as a teen/young woman (hence why I ended up in a sexless marriage - my doing) it is opening up doors. Maybe I might find a gem!

Oh, how exciting! Really pleased for you, OP! Rock on!

I met my lovely, lovely BF on bumble. It is hard out there but there are decent men who use it too.

I've met many men OLD. Went through a spate of having many many ONS after coming out of a 3 year relationship. That was fun.

Then I met one man who literally bugged me for weeks and weeks until I finally gave in and we met. He said all the right things - was lovely, charming, so generous to the point of me feeling incredibly uncomfortable... then... he cheated! Broke my heart.

Second relationship I had was kinda similar to the first (although we got engaged!) ... talked for ages before we met. Said all the right things at the beginning - but turned out to not be the man he portrayed himself as. Lied, cheated, mentally and emotionally abusive....

I am still in contact with one of the ONS I had back in 2013.. still talk everyday - still see each other - but it's just nice now, friendly ..

However, despite my absolute hate of OLD and the tiresome sexts I get sent daily ... I am still on them. Now though, I'm just a cynical old bitch.... I find meeting anyone IRL is just too challenging and I'm not that desperate for a challenge!

I'm still hoping that one day he's going to be standing in front of me in the sainsburys queue .... one of those chance meetings ... yes, I am delusional also!

There are crazies on OLD. There are also good guys. I haven't been in a relationship for about a decade, and I'm using OLD to remind me what I'm interested in, what I'm prepared to be flexible on, what I am not. I didn't think height really bothered me, but it does. The ones who go on about how they can't believe I'm single really put me off - the ones who treat me like a normal human will get a lot further. I'm learning a fair bit about me if nothing else. And if I end up still single at the end of it then I'm no worse off than before.

Meant to add, Bumble and Tinder seem best to me.