Hi. You may remember my threads from earlier in the year, about my abusive ex husband, and his apalling abuse of my children from my previous marriage and his suspicious behaviour towards our DD, aged 3. I went into a refuge after months/years of psychological abuse and then eventually got him removed by the courts.
I have made a new life for myself and the DC...at the moment we are staying with friends 200 miles away and I think we will eventually stay here permanently as the children are now unwinding and relaxing and settling down at last.
The problem is ex h. I have now received a letter asking me to go to mediation. I've been advised against it by womens aid as a lot of abusers will use this a way of manipulating and abusing again, and it's only now I'm away from him that I realise how bloody scared of him I was and still am.
I found his diarys and read them...soooo scary. He spent time in a psych hospital, tried to kill himself numerous times, tried to hang himself in there, and the rantings which he put down on paper point to a dangerously disturbed and dangerous man. He made threats several times that he would take DD and I;d never see her again. Then on xmas eve she told me that Daddy had shown her his 'willy' several times (if you remember from my previous threads he used to take her in the bath with him and lock the door and this is apparently where he used to show her). I tried to play it down slightly, and said that he was just washing his body and she was adamant that he only washed his willy when she was with him...never his body/face etc. Bear in mind that this is a man who wouldn't shower or bathe for 9 days at a time, and then suddenly would lock himeslf in the bathroom with our daughter. he also accessed porn in front of her so his behaviour is inappropriate to say the least. I had to take her to the GP when I was in the refuge to check for sexual assault/disease because the workers there were so concerned about his behaviour.
I take his threats against DD very seriously. He WOULD abduct her. So...what's to stop me staying here so far away, changing my mobile number etc and just starting again? It's not bitterness on my part, I actively encourage my older 2 children's relationship with their father, but I am scared for my daughter's safety, welfare and even her life if he is allowed to see her.
The injunction runs out in Feb, and my solicitor has told me that there is nothing to stop him moving back in then, as the courts won't extend the injunction as he hasn't shown any deteriorating behaviour. But his mail has started coming back to the house after 3 months of receiving nothing, and I have a sick feeling that he is planning on doing just that.
His children from his previous marriage will have nothing to do with him because of the emotional abuse he diplayed towards them...he really is a disturbed, dangerous man. I am also fearful for my own safety; he made death threats against his ex girlfriend, serious enough for him to be detained in a psych hopsital for 3 months.