Hello,
I have thought about posting for a while as am interested in hearing from those who have experienced new relationships after separation.
In a nutshell I separated from my ex over two years ago and about a year ago met a guy who is separated too, has got two kids from previous marriage. I have one child.
We have since the start had a good connection butthere are a few things which overtime have made me very upset.
First his approach with my DS is at times too confrontational. My DS can be very boisterous and doesnt take no as an answer. When my DS has a meltdown my BF answers him back and almost engages with him as if he himself was a child. He always says how I need to be disciplining my child sending him to his room when he misbehaves eg raises his voice or gets angry (behaviours which I am aware of). At times he manages to defuse situation and my DS then calms down.
The other thing that makes me upset is that my BF is hardly ever romantic and at times does not take me seriously. He makes jokes such as 'hey woman go make me dinner' etc which can be funny to an extent. When I bring up my feelings around him being quite sarcastic he says I cannot have this conversation again, ah feelings again, boring etc.
I have suggested we take a break but he does not seem to want it.
I am confused because I love this man but some of his behaviours (eg. how strict he can be with my child and not much inclined to understand my child's feelings and how little he listens to my feelings because he says its not a bloke thing) make me question whether I should continue.
I do not really know how to approach the subject with him without being either mocked or shut down. All I want is for him to be a bit more affectionate and sweet, understanding when it's time to have a joke and when instead it's time to be more serious or more empathetic to other people's feelings.
Has anyone got any word of advice or has found themselves in a similar position please post!
Thank you in advance