About to lose my new house - exH playing up, again

[Struggling1702]

So you may remember some of my posts on here but I'll summarise. Was married to exH for 10 years, together 16, 2 kids (10 and 6). We officially separated 2 years ago and I filed due to infidelity (repeated). It has taken me all this time and thousands of pounds to get through mediation. He changed mediator as said first one was biased, he turned up without having done any paperwork so we spent sessions filling in his forms, he lied repeatedly on his forms, especially about income as he's a self employed contractor.
Anyway he spent 9 months trying to starve me and the kids out of the family home (I have 70% custody). Mortgage rate ended and we went variable and he refuses to remortgage. He doesn't pay the mortgage (which is now 70% of my salary) and has only just started paying right level of maintenance after he admitted his actual salary in mediation. To put in perspective, it's well into 6 figures ...
Basically I gave in as I ran out of money and there's not enough equity to fight over to go to court. So I agreed to 60/40 split of equity and I'd move out and he'd get the family home for him and his girlfriend.
There is only one home where we live that I can afford that meets my needs (we live down south) and it's affordable as the train line runs at end of the garden.
Anyway I'm meant to complete next week and Wednesday I get an email from his solicitor with a list of demands for me to sign and agree or he won't give me my equity. My solicitor has said I cannot sign it. One of the demands is that I leave him the furniture and the white goods... The guy bought himself a £1400 phone the other week for god's sake!
The other issues it states he will try to pay maintenance at the right level but it will be voluntary 😤😤😤 - in other words he'll be back to lying about his income within a year. I'm so angry and completely and utterly trapped. I can't stay in the home as I can't afford it, I can't go to court as I can't afford it.

Thank you. This is reassuring. I'm terrified he will somehow get away with it and I will end up ruined. It requires a lot of faith in the system!
At the moment we still haven't even had a response from his solicitor - it's been 6 days. I actually feel physically sick with worry as to what he is planning.
I feel completely and utterly trapped and I just want to keep my kids safe and happy

Re: maintenance order - if relying on an order for maintenance, do ensure any maintenance is spousal maintenance in financial remedy proceedings. Be careful about court ordered child maintenance as such an order expires after only 1 year and then reverts to CMS.

As others have said, I would avoid maintenance and go for more equity, spousal maintenance is rarely awarded, easy (for him) to manipulate and will be years of further arguments and litigation ahead for you.

Unfortunately we only have 80k equity in the house, total. His pensions, one (big one) is pre-marital and apparently unlikely I would be awarded, the other is non existent really. He hadn't paid into a pension since he set up his limited company. So, despite him being a very high earner he seems to have no money to show for it. He does spend an insane amount but part of me thinks he's hiding stuff away.

what an utter cunt your ex is. I'm sorry you'll have to go through this, but it sounds like you have to fight back or else he'll just keep on walking all over you. Any chance of legal aid? A low-interest loan from family? Crowdfunding? Wishing you strength.

If he is drawing a minimal salary and dividends to keep at the basic tax rate, then presumably he has a lot of retained profits in his company. I hope these profits are being taken into account when determining your financial split (I'm assuming you are not a shareholder). If you haven't already got them, get the last few years accounts from Companies House.

@Struggling1702

I can't get CMS involved as he's self employed. He pays himself very little officially for tax avoidance purposes...

Hmm I'm self employed. My salary is very low, but I have to declare on my self assessment the dividends I take from my business on my tax return. I can't 'hide' that money anywhere because even if I didn't declare it on my self assessment the tax man knows as it has to be declared on my business accounts (maybe I am just too much of a goody goody though and it is possible to dodge declaring your earnings?)

@GurtBusty

If he is drawing a minimal salary and dividends to keep at the basic tax rate, then presumably he has a lot of retained profits in his company. I hope these profits are being taken into account when determining your financial split (I'm assuming you are not a shareholder). If you haven't already got them, get the last few years accounts from Companies House.

Oh yes - and totally agree with this!

Sounds like you need to pay for a forensic accountant.

I hope you have stopped paying the mortgage and informed the lenders why and to direct all mail to your Ex.

I would speak to a local housing office and say you are going to have to leave due to on going abuse whilst the financial settlement goes through/house is sold and what assistance can they give if you go into rented. When you are a victim of abuse they do have to exclude the marital asset and your entitled to means tested help with rent via UC.

He's a bastard but you know that.

What an absolute bastard. His comeuppance will be when his children no longer want anything to do with him as they come to realize this for themselves.

Do not sign

What an absolute low life

The charity Surviving Economic Abuse is v good at financial abuse and control.

You must be exhausted but keep going. He won't get away with it

Re the furniture/white goods just say ' I was hoping you'd say that as most of it won't fit new house or will be the wrong colour, so that's great I can pick stuff I like instead' - and you'll likely find he'll organise a van to dump it at yours.