Has anyone pulled child out of nursery? Not settling well

[getback2normal]

Hi,

Just wanted to know if any parents of Highly Sensitive Children (my boy aged 3.5 years) is not settling or doing too well at nursery. His character and temperament fits that of Highly Sensitive.

I'm really struggling with what to do.

I'm currently looking into homeschooling him? Something I know nothing about.

I want to avoid making negative associations for him with nursery school and allow him to blossom and bloom in his own time.

The current UK school system doesn't provide much for children that are sensitive. The nurseries/ schools I've seen are loud/noisy, aggressive in terms of competing etc.,

Really struggling and need to make a few decisions here.

He has started a new nursery after coming out sad and soiled each time at his old one.

His new one have already commented how sensitive and empathetic he is.

Any parents help with this? Advice greatly appreciated.

Two new nursery’s in the space of a few months? No wonder he’s confused and anxious! He needs consistency, routine, familiarity.

Try a childminder if you think your child needs more attention and care.

Bless him. He sounds like one of my boys and a fa outlet key child I had when I worked in nursery.

I’m a childminder now and wonder if a childminder might be better for your son?

My husband wasn't keen on childminder option as he felt he wanted him to be in a sociable setting.. but yes I'm leaning towards that now x

@Bushkin I fully agree!

Hey op. My children both took a lot more than 2 weeks to feel settled at nursery I really think yoi need to give this more time. Is there a trusted adult there you could speak to and say you are worried? It's a lot if change to move nurseries then pull him out after 2 weeks.

And I did use a childminder which I loved but I think at 3.5 he won't be far off school ? Sadly we do start kids at school very early in the UK.

Now he is in the nursery I would really try to make that work. My daughter was like thus always with adults and shy of children. But she really flourished when actually allowed to settle down. I did however really trust her nursery.

You can't expect him to feel secure if you keep chopping and changing him

Our old childminder took her mindees to different play settings every day so if your DH is worried about the socialising aspect perhaps look into a CM who offers similar (most will)?

My daughter cried hysterically if anyone other than me or DP held her when she was small and was extremely wary around other adults. We chose a childminder for that reason as I couldn’t envisage her attending nursery. I diagnosed her as a Highly Sensitive Child after spending hours on Dr Google and when she started pre-school I informed the staff and said she would likely struggle. They nodded and didn’t say anything else. I was very worried that she wasn’t mixing with other kids or getting the attention she needed. The nursery’s response was “she will get there in her own time” which annoyed me the time but they were right.

She is now 9, extremely outgoing, happily spends time with other adults and is completely unrecognisable from the nervous 3 year old at pre-school.

I am not saying for one moment you are wrong about your child’s sensitive nature but would really advise giving him time to develop. I’d suggest removing him from the 2 nurseries and either stick with one or take the childminder route.

Hi@getback2normal , just curious on this thread, have you any update you could share? Hope all went well :)

I work in a nursery. We have had a few children who have attended two nursery's and only once have I seen it work and that was with a very confident outgoing child. Most have just transitioned over to us in the end.

Nurseries can be loud and overwhelming places for all children however staff shouldn't be overlooking this and there should be quiet areas and organised activities as well as free play.

I think pulling your son out would be a mistake, especially if you are not going to homeschool. Preschool is the foundation to school and helps get children set up hugely in terms of building friendships and socially navigating situations. At first this can be a bit overwhelming but with staff overviewing, modelling and encouraging they should blossom. Sometimes this can take time.

Have you spoken to the nursery - first nursery sounds awful with the soiling everyday - occasionally it does happen but not everyday, that would worry me they are being overlooked. I would want to speak to a keyworker and express your concerns and ask how they are generally and what they are doing to build confidence.