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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

27 replies

Larambla · 17/01/2022 13:17

So, I've been with this guy for a while. Not together, but we might as well be. I'm confused. Very confused. Sometimes he is so nice and full of affection and wisdom, but if I do something that annoys him (even if that's simply defending myself), he goes all weird and gives me the silent treatment. Whenever I try to confront him he uses his mental health as a defense, even though I also suffer with depression. Still I am confused as to whether it really is me - I don't know if he really does find me unpleasant. But I walk over eggshells, I can never get anything right. Is this bad? Another thing is that if I try to talk to him about it all, he puts it off as 'you're acting like my girlfriend', after he has just smothered me in love a day before. So confused.

OP posts:
gokartdillydilly · 18/01/2022 15:57

@BootySOS

Very very good advice, from BootySOS, OP. Short, succinct, and absolutely true 👍

TheFoundation · 18/01/2022 16:35

If someone makes you feel confused, stay away from them. Same with anything negative, really. If someone makes you feel in some way negative, consistently, stay away from them.

You don't need to go into details about why you feel bad/whose fault it is etc, unless everybody is making you feel bad in the same way. If it's just one person, then they are causing it. If it's everybody, then you might be the hub of the problem.

So... does anyone else make you feel this way? I'd bet it's just him, and anybody else is happy to talk when you want to, doesn't make you feel you need to walk on eggshells/get everything wrong etc?

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