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Dating / policeman / red flags

72 replies

Adley · 14/01/2022 10:04

Hi all would you date a policeman or someone who works for the police
And what are the main dating red flags 🚩 to look out for online dating

OP posts:
baileys6904 · 14/01/2022 20:37

Ask the same question about doctors and you'll get a number of posts saying how that profession is full of cheats and to avoid.

Then ask the question about soldiers, and you'll get the same.

And about police.

And about local government

And about civil servants

And about fireman

And about people that work in the city

And about folk in an office.

This is a forum for when relationships haven't or aren't working. Most people are here due to problems with either their current or ex partner. Men are mostly disliked unless there's a really good excuse not to. Women get the benefit of the doubt, men are arseholes unless proven otherwise.

And people change jobs in life. Character traits are based on the individual not the occupation

Adley · 14/01/2022 20:39

Thanks
No it wasn’t on profile i asked what he did for work

OP posts:
dontsaythj · 14/01/2022 21:20

MeSanniesareBrannies

Todaysdilemma has quite comprehensively explained why your argument isn't logical.

I'd also like to point out that your assumption that the lack of research on other professions proves that the incidence is lower than for the police is nonsensical. You believe that - not just a lack of evidence - but a lack of even looking for it, proves that the evidence doesn't exist?

It's a circular argument - "we don't have to study x for other professions, because the fact that other professions haven't been studied proves x"

Moonface123 · 14/01/2022 21:31

I know quite a few women who dated and married Police Officers, none of them had a happy ever after .
l worked for the CPS for 13 years and l was warned to stay away from dating any of them by my colleagues very early on.
It was very good advice.

sunflowerroses · 14/01/2022 23:23

I'm very happily married to a police officer - he's a lovely, kind, caring, loyal man and has never given me any reason to doubt him in any way. So yes, I would date one and see how it went just like I would with any other profession.

MeSanniesareBrannies · 15/01/2022 12:44

@dontsaythj

MeSanniesareBrannies

Todaysdilemma has quite comprehensively explained why your argument isn't logical.

I'd also like to point out that your assumption that the lack of research on other professions proves that the incidence is lower than for the police is nonsensical. You believe that - not just a lack of evidence - but a lack of even looking for it, proves that the evidence doesn't exist?

It's a circular argument - "we don't have to study x for other professions, because the fact that other professions haven't been studied proves x"

Cool. Date police officers, then. Best of luck with that.
Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/01/2022 12:49

What a weird post
Of course I’d date a policeman ! If I liked him
Much if the red flag 🚩 are visible in their profiles IMO

Red flags 🚩 are
Too much negative chat about their ex
Don’t see their kids
Too much texting early on
Not being open and honest

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/01/2022 12:51

I find this really sad
My friends married to a lovely policeman
Of course there are bad ones , and maybe the profession has a higher incidence , who knows 🙈

But to not date for their profession feels unkind and biased

dontsaythj · 15/01/2022 13:15

@Thisisworsethananticpated

I find this really sad My friends married to a lovely policeman Of course there are bad ones , and maybe the profession has a higher incidence , who knows 🙈

But to not date for their profession feels unkind and biased

The US left initiated it with the ridiculous "Defund The Police" movement (which is by all accounts turning out to be disastrous wherever any politician was stupid enough to attempt to actually implement it). The transatlantic twitter class in this country - who take their cues from what's going on over there - picked up on it. They've now started their own movement to systematically denigrate and attack the police here.

The police should be held to account and criticised when it's warranted; what I don't agree with is systematically maligning and vilifying an entire profession. Particularly one which is so vitally important to everyone's safety.

Starby74 · 18/09/2023 12:12

I've just come out of a 10 year marriage with one and he's broken me. Narcissistic and controlling. Awful

AlrightThen · 18/09/2023 16:04

I have disrupted sense of privacy for the rest of my life so I see colourless flags everywhere that are very red at the same time.

Low level police people should be fine.

Jasmineb123 · 19/11/2023 01:50

Police have a strict policing about using dating apps , they don’t like it at all , but loads want to use to find a partner other then a police officer, which they are told to date . Trust me I know

Fraaahnces · 19/11/2023 02:02

Believe your intuition. The fact that you are asking now is screaming that you know something isn’t right.

herewegoagain7 · 19/11/2023 02:12

@Jasmineb123 you are talking absolute shite

Jasmineb123 · 19/11/2023 02:19

Your absolute troll

TotallyFloored · 19/11/2023 02:22

I’d say he’s still using the dating app while talking to you.

They get you to WhatsApp with them so they get your number, then they set their dating profile to block contacts, so to you it looks like they’ve come off the app and are only taking to you, but really they are still on there talking to others.

Standard online dating app trick.

Kinneddar · 19/11/2023 02:39

Well since the thread is almost 2 years old chances are the OP has decided whether to continue talking.

How the hell do folk find these zombie threads to resurrect

Somewhereoverthersinbowweighapie · 19/11/2023 02:41

I wouldn’t date a cop. Crazy story but I moved to the UK to work as a nanny. I made a lot of friends, one was a little nervous to talk about where she was from last name etc. It took a year or so for her to trust us, she told us how she started dating a cop. It wasn’t serious, then he ghosted her. She found out from a mutual friend he had a girlfriend, also a cop. They had broken up but got back together. She went from never having a speeding ticket to bring pulled over twice for going slightly over the limit. She was extremely careful to sit on the limit and had noticed a police car following her to or from work on a few occasions. It could have been a coincidence, but she was spooked. She swapped cars with her mum and was ok. Then one day she was shopping and was held by security for shop lifting. The police turned up almost immediately, she was questioned and her bag searched. She hadn’t taken anything so was fine. But knew she was being targeted. So she had to leave the country without telling any of her friends. She could have had her life ruined over a few dates.

Mouse82 · 19/11/2023 06:22

I personally wouldn't date a cop, bad experiences with them including with the neighbours who have caused ongoing issues over the years and my own childhood.

Queensland police response to domestic and family violence inquiry hears of ugly comments, crews avoiding call outs - ABC News

Judges slam Queensland police officer who leaked DV victim’s details (brisbanetimes.com.au)

Rollup2024 · 19/11/2023 06:31

Any man who says they are leaving the app so can I have your WhatsApp is dodge IMHO. I am sorry but never had positive interactions with police officers in OLD.

CubaLibre23 · 19/11/2023 07:16

MeSanniesareBrannies · 14/01/2022 12:24

People on here are obsessed with cheating. There are many possible concerns that spring to mind when people wonder about the wisdom of dating a policeman (high incidence of domestic abuse, systemic racism, institutional sexism, unsociable hours, possible danger), and some of you instantly assume this is about the likelihood of fidelity.

It’s very, very odd.

In my region of the UK the police (both sexes) are absolutely notorious for infidelity.

I presume there's similar elsewhere.

That's why people jump to cheating.

Fraaahnces · 20/11/2023 04:15

I work alongside four policewomen. They say that they would rather chew off their own leg than date a cop because of the competitive herd mentality around notches on the bedpost - irrespective of relationship status.

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