Is there a dating app for ugly people?

[sprite25]

I know it sounds weird but are there any dating apps for people who aren't considered attractive? My marriage is dead and I feel the only reason I'm sticking around is because I'm scared that once I leave I'll be alone forever. I know I'm ugly and have made my peace with it but just want to know there's hope out there for me. Regular dating apps are full of people who look like they've been on love island and that just ain't me, I feel like the standard for attractiveness nowadays is just so high that I'd never find someone

First of all, I have no idea if the app you describe exists, sorry.

But.

Dating apps are NOT filled with people who look like they're out of Love Island. There are a range of people - lots of whom use 'flattering' photos of themselves, let's say.

I don't have a clue what you look like, but a) you will NOT be the least attractive person on there (whatever that means to you - it is subjective after all) and b) there are still plenty of people who realise that looks aren't the be all and end all.

Sign up, have a look through some profiles, send a few messages.. see where it goes :).

What about you is ugly?

Keeping clean and clean clothes, getting a good haircut , smiling and actually being happy - all this reduces maybe 99% of ‘ugliness’. I’m sorry you have been in such an unhappy marriage.

I have met very few women in life who are actually ugly!

I have never in my 47 years on this earth met a person who is ugly. So I don't believe you are. Beauty is subjective and I know it's corny but comes from within. If you are a nice person you aren't ugly. I promise.

I actually think this is a interesting idea! I have no idea if it exists or not, but I like the idea of just ruling out all the people who are only looking for 7/10 or higher on looks.

Unfortunately, the internet being what it is, the Ugly website would attract perverts who perve on ugly women (so essentially same deal) or predators who think ugly women will be easy prey.

By the way I am no looker either, and like you I have come to terms with it and no, I don't believe that smiling or a good heart will make me look like Giselle. I will say though, it has never stood in the way of getting asked out, so don't worry about that.

I'm another one who suggests you are not ugly- I don't think I have ever met a physically ugly person- it really is personality and outlook/ looking after yourself etc.
OLD is very daunting - but nice, normal photos not filtered and a good bio and I think you will find it good. Not every man is confident in their looks either

Ugly isn't a look, it's an attitude. People who aren't classically beautiful can be very attractive if they look after themselves and have confidence. People who are classically beautiful can be unattractive if they don't look after themselves and don't have confidence.

Anybody approaching dating with an 'I'm obviously less attractive than everybody else, is there anything that caters for people like me' attitude is going to struggle, because there's no attempt to see the beauty in yourself that you'd like a partner to see.

Work on having your own back first, otherwise you're looking for a partner who, by telling you you're ugly, will be agreeing with you. You surely don't want that?

I think first of all you need to work on you and build up your confidence. You’re not ugly and you don’t need another person to validate you.

Essentially you want to line up the next candidate before ending your marriage, which is unbelievable and tantamount to cheating.

If you’re not happy ditch your partner (male or female), get to know yourself, make friends etc. Once you are more confident and happy in yourself find someone, otherwise you will just end up settling.

I saw literally one properly good-looking guy on one of the dating apps I was on. Wasn't sure if he was a real person or some sort of fake profile.
I reckon an app for "ugly people" would be a magnet for con artists. Whatever you do, don't let anyone know or suspect that you feel the way you do. Maybe work on actually not feeling like that.

OP take a walk down the highstreet and look around at all the couples. Look at everyone for that matter. People are all different colours, shapes and sizes, with all different teeth, hair, noses and cheeks.

It’s easy to forget this when you look online!

Vicmc87 I didn't mean I was looking for someone while still married, I wouldn't do that in any circumstances. What I was looking for is reassurance that out in the world there could still possibly be someone who I could be happy with in the future despite not looking attractive. The idea that if I was to officially end my marriage that I would be alone forever is what is keeping me in my unhappy marriage, as pathetic as it sounds I'd rather take what my husband sees as a marriage over being alone forever. He shows me no physical, emotional, or mental affection or love. No support or reassurance, just basically uses me as a cook/maid/admin at worst and a casual friend at best. I know it's unhappy and unhealthy but I just wanted to know there could be light at the end of the tunnel before residing myself to being lonely

On Saturday OP go into your local town and walk around. Look at the other people walking around with you. Are they all gorgeous? Do they all look like they belong on Love Island? Are they all single? There's your answer right there.

In what way are you not alone now, OP? Your life sounds lonelier with him.

If the people you see on apps look anything like on Love Island I am guessing you must be quite young?

OP you need to deal with your outlook before dating. You must know that people who are not regarded as physically beautiful have successful relationships. What you're doing is using 'ugly' as a front for your insecurity, and if you thought you were nice looking, you'd just use something else (like not earning enough, not living in a good area, not being fit etc)

Being single doesn't mean being lonely. Until you can get an understanding of that, you'll be unlikely to find a good relationship. The first thing to be is good company for yourself, so you'll need to stop talking yourself down. Someone who is good company for you wouldn't say you sounded 'pathetic', for example.

What would someone do, if they were good company for you? Reassure you? Take you somewhere nice? Do those things for yourself. Make a 'I'd like a partner to do x y and z for me', and then do those things. You don't need a partner to save you from loneliness; you need to do things for you that a person who respects you would do.

What would be good for you, right now? What could you do that would have a positive impact on your life?

You won’t be ready for dating if you feel like this. When I have done this, I find 90% of people on the apps average looking. Nothing special but when you read the bio and dig deeper you find things that are appealing. You need to build your confidence up, leave your husband as he sounds awful and learn to be comfortable in your own company for a while. Once you are comfortable and have more confidence, then you can seek what you are looking for. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. I accept that this is easier said and done when your husband has clearly knocked your confidence.

As long as you dont put loads of filtered pics up. One of you normal looking. One dolled up. One that shows youre interesting etc. I dont think looks make as much difference as we are led to believe. Theres going to be plenty of average looking people on those sites too who wouldnt click on the love-island lot. Plenty of people would probably choose someone more average and normal looking because they would imagine someone very conventionally attractive to be high maintenance or would make them feel insecure etc.

The idea that if I was to officially end my marriage that I would be alone forever is what is keeping me in my unhappy marriage, as pathetic as it sounds I'd rather take what my husband sees as a marriage over being alone forever. He shows me no physical, emotional, or mental affection or love. No support or reassurance, just basically uses me as a cook/maid/admin at worst and a casual friend at best.

What scares you about being single? I'm 35 years + married but would never marry or cohabit again should anything happen to my DH. I have a fantasy of living alone in a small cottage with a couple of dogs. Everything would stay clean and tidy, I wouldn't be answerable to anyone. I could do what I want, watch what I want, see who I want. I like my own company, I have lots of interests and hobbies and some good friends. What is it you fear about being single?

@sprite25

Dating apps are for all.

The ‘beautiful people’ rarely pop up for me, and I always assume young beautiful ladies spamming my email, requesting to be my Facebook friends aren’t what they appear to be

Just like beauty, ugly is in the eye of the beholder.

The one thing that prompts me to quickly swipe no on a dating app is ‘scary face’

In real life you can see a person across a room, and see them as a real human being, in on line dating these days it’s the primary photo for a fraction of a second, which can mean quick swiping of ‘no,no,no, interesting …’

It’s ‘interesting’ that matters
I want to see a face, that looks nice, doesn’t scare me away - it’s not ‘ugly’ that scares me

Like other posters, I doubt that you are ugly, you may or may not be someone’s taste, but a nice photo with some happiness in it will get my attention, rather than a miserable face that looks like you’re going to punch me and will get me running to safety

I’m definitely not gods gift, but I’ve had relationships with ‘ordinary’ and ‘beautiful’ women.

I also dated a model (or more precisely an ex model from many years before) but still a beautiful woman - she could be very plain or very striking. Out of my league, but she saw me & liked me. If this had been online I may have been swiping away and never getting to match

You need confidence in yourself
Do what’s right with your marriage - either pursue the marriage or take the steps out

If you’re so ‘ugly’ that online dating will get you nowhere —- (or are you really just not in a place mentally to face perceived rejection) — then do some activities, join a class/club/society, go walking, do a hobby, etc
Put yourself in a position to meet people that isn’t ‘dating.’ You will find that the world is full of ordinary people

Thank you everyone for replying. Alot saying about confidence etc. And your right I don't have any, from a young age and from various places I've been told in one way or another that I'm ugly. Even just the other day while out with my two young children two builders made some sniggering comment about my appearance, just because I dared to walk past them. So for every one doubting the way I look and thinking it's just down to my self esteem, please try explaining why I've been told it my entire life even up to recently. I suppose I just want to feel like there's someone out there who could actually love me

@sprite25

Thank you everyone for replying. Alot saying about confidence etc. And your right I don't have any, from a young age and from various places I've been told in one way or another that I'm ugly. Even just the other day while out with my two young children two builders made some sniggering comment about my appearance, just because I dared to walk past them. So for every one doubting the way I look and thinking it's just down to my self esteem, please try explaining why I've been told it my entire life even up to recently. I suppose I just want to feel like there's someone out there who could actually love me

I used to get these comments all the bloody time, so I know exactly what it is like! It's not just down to self-esteem; of course some people are more attractive then others. But how you deal with that, and the fears you live with, are down to self-esteem; the pps are absolutely right. (NB: I guess you are below 40? The comments do stop.)

People who have been disfigured find loving partners who find them attractive. Love really isn't anything to do with being good looking. If you can unhook the two in your mind, things like being a decent, loving person who respects people and respects themselves will start to have more importance to you.

Would you only date a man who was beautiful to look at? Or would you be looking at the whole package, and thinking, 'Well, he might not get a modelling job and he could do with losing a bit of that paunch, but boy is he a good bloke, and I feel so loved and cherished... he really respects my feelings and wants me to be happy, it's so good that he's so passionate about everything he does...' etc?

In my case it was just random strangers on the street who used to enjoy telling me I was the ugliest person in the world, though. From your description I guess also your parent(s)? Have you had therapy? I had it after I divorced - not for my self-esteem, but actually it had an affect on that, too.

Who told you that you were ugly?.

What sort of childhood did you have?. Were you raised by critical and or overbearing parents?.

Do you not think you are completely alone within your marriage now?.

And you have children. What do you want to teach them about relationships and just what are they learning from the two of you here?. Is this really the role model you want to be showing them?. No its not and I daresay you would want better for their own selves in their relationships as adults.

I don't know what you mean as being ugly,or even being attractive. The old saying, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is true . Too many people have the notion,that you have to look a certain way to get attention or to meet a partner,its just not true, unless they are very shallow people..Lots of people have all sorts of other great attributes, that may make them attractive to others. Dwelling on the things that you do. will only make you more unhappy.