Hi Dickie1972
As the months have passed since my first post back earlier on at the beginning of the year My Husband and I have certainly been through both good times and bad trying to unravel just exactly where WE are at as a couple and where HE is at with his sexuality.
It’s a very difficult journey I am not going to lie especially when you haven’t been exposed to it and know little about it - I as a person in my own right know of diversity but wasn’t I suppose prepared for learning I would have to consider that diversity in OUR Marriage at the time.
For anyone that is reading this I will say that I still LOVE My Husband very much and WE are BOTH seeking professional help which we feel is appropriate for US in particular in our relationship - It continues to be work in progress and will no doubt take time to work through to see where we finish up either as still married or separate and remain good friends.
I will say having done a lot of research to try and be empathetic and understanding it’s not black or white and there are many grey areas for consideration.
I acknowledge that there are a lot of married men out there that comfortably lead a bi-sexual life with the consent of their wife’s and a lot that don’t.
I am glad that I now know and have had many months to process it and understand it better than when I first found out…
It was very traumatic at first because I DIDN’T know and My Husband hadn’t been honest enough to discuss it with me or give me choice instead he lied and lied and led a double life in secret which for me personally was the problem that rocked the whole foundation of our Marriage - If you don’t have TRUST you don’t have any foundations to build upon, that very essence of any marriage becomes a LIE and is left shattered and broken because you feel betrayed and cheated upon.
Our Relationship will never be the same again - Only Time and a whole lot of healing and truthful honest conversations from here will ever rebuild that if that’s at all ever possible….
We are very lucky that we have been able to access professional help and guidance along the way and who knows where we will land.
But! We are still here and working through the process and still LOVE each other very much, it’s not as painful anymore as I am now not as shocked anymore but WE still remain together supporting each other through what has been a very difficult time for US BOTH.
There are not guarantees in Life but we are BOTH two loving human beings that need to be respected and our thoughts, feelings and personal needs being now acknowledged and with compassion we strive together still married to work through the situation as it stands today.
Like I said I have no idea where we will finish up but we remain committed to each other whilst working through the scenario that presented itself over 14 months ago.
Only time will tell…