Daughter attacked *trigger warning*

[mumof3anddog22]

Name changed for this.

Will try not to drip feed and some details will be changed .

Had a phone call off my daughter. She had spilt with her ex last year.
This was due to violence , coercive behaviour, drugs & alcohol.

Had radio silence from daughter since weekend , we normally speak or message daily. I was getting no answer. Wasn't unduly worried though, she has her own life and was back in contact with friends.

2 days ago she phoned her dad.
It transpires that the ex visited my daughter on pretence of collecting forgotten belongings.
Daughter let them in.
The ex then proceeded to hit her badly.
Took her keys and phone off her.
This was over a few days.

She sent me photos of her injuries, she needed medical attention.
Contacted the police who were fantastic, 3 hour statement. Then we went a&e , couldn't fault them. Even though signs saying relatives not allowed , she was classed as a special circumstance. Body map done, doctors really good , she was given fluids as not eaten or drunk for days as unable due to injuries.
Photos taken. The only place no injuries was soles of her feet. The doctor asked me to contact the police to say discharged from a&e & brief summary of injuries.
The police have referred her to an idva (?)

Daughter is now in a safe house.
I know where she is as well as her dad.
I'm worried sick.

What happens now? The ex is homeless and awol? How long before they arrest? The police said they need the proof first.
The ex is now trying to contact her on different numbers , some withheld .
I've got a spare phone and sim so thinking of using that ? I'm lost. Never been in this situation before.
Any advice
Thank you

OP I work in this area, am happy to help you if needed.

In terms of remanding her, if there wasn't enough (or anything) on her past criminal record then a court would not have remanded which is why she was released with bail conditions.

When you say the charges were dropped, do you mean your daughter withdrew her support for a prosecution?

Or do you mean the CPS refused any charges? It's just timeline wise from when you first posted I'd be surprised if a charging decision had come back from them yet, there is a huge backlog and it is taking ages to get decisions back. It used to be within 28 days but it is taking longer (sometimes many months).

I'm sorry you feel unsupported by the police, I can reassure you that people working in this area DO do our best to get good outcomes for victims and keep people safe.

The medical records thing too, if the police didn't access them this could be for a few reasons, your daughter would have had to give her consent for this to happen, did she include this consent in the statement she gave or a follow up statement?

After this we have to apply to the NHS to get the records, this can again take weeks or months for them to release the information to us. So it could be that this is still in progress rather than not asked for.

[quote Tilltheend99]Wow really sorry op Obviously there is a million things on your mind right now number one being your daughter. I really hope she pulls through. But at some point I think you should complain to the ipcc about the poor handling of your daughter’s case that let to this. Again so so sorry. It seems that women experiencing violence are being constantly let down at the moment www.policeconduct.gov.uk/complaints-reviews-and-appeals/make-complaint[/quote]
Agree with this.

I would complain and be pushing for a review and prosecution.

for you OP I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you

Just taking 5.
@Stationfork . She got a phone call on Monday to say charges were being dropped due to lack of evidence.
The police said that they hadn't access her medical records even though she gave them permission.
The the ex and her family started.
Different numbers , when I looked at my daughters phone it was full of blocked numbers.
Which then takes us to Wednesday.
And now to today.

Still on nasal cannula and her last arterial blood gas was improved.

Will say if they bothered to wait for the medical reports , she's got to have her bloody nose rebuild for christs sake.

Oh Op, I have no advice, I can't even imagine the trauma you are going through right now. Nor your daughter.
But keep talking. This is a good place to let out any words you just can't say in RL. We are all here to support, listen (read).
Keep strong

No words.

Wishin you both hope

Something doesn't add up to me here as even without the medical records and body mapping etc you said you had injury pictures and the way you describe the horrific attack I'd say an initial charge could be sought for a GBH, even if the CPS then downgrade that to ABH (That sort of thing is very common). Even if then they came back and downgraded again to a common assault level if there are injury pictures and a statement and the victim wants it you should get a charge.

Obviously it is sensitive and she is not in a well enough state to talk about it now but do check with your DD if she did change her mind when she had her wobble and made a retraction statement as if so we would still send any domestic case to the CPS for consideration but if a victim does withdraw then it is unlikely the CPS charge in these cases sadly, it's a big problem as like you say DV cases often involve an element of fear of repercussions so victims can drop it because of this.

A restraining order is not possible without a charge, however a non molestation order maybe and her IDVA can help her apply for this, are they still in touch with your daughter?

How is she doing now?

Also you (well, she) can ask for a reconsideration from the CPS too. Make sure she keeps the call logs on her phone from the withheld numbers and also document any other phone numbers calling her. This could be used as the basis of a new case for harassment.

Thinking of you both @mumof3anddog22. Please consider a formal complaint to the policecwhen you are able to.

@mumof3anddog22 I’m so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through.

Morning.
Quick update
She's home, bloody self discharged.
Got to the bottom of a lot of things.
Why charges were dropped and other reasons behind what made her do what she did.
Things I can not say here.
I'm moving in with her when she goes home.
Things have made sense sort of . I'm angry at these other people. I'm angry at mh services dropping her as they say she's not got mental health but is autistic!
So referrals to adult social care done. See what happens.
Waiting for her to wake up so I can give medication as it's all locked away.

@mumof3anddog22 I’m glad she’s with you.

I wish your daughter a speedy recovery. Thank goodness you can stay with her. I hope you and she can find a way to get her ex partner held to account xx

Really don't know if this is relevant now to how I started this thread.
I'm broken.
I can't stop crying.
I can't concentrate at work.
I'm snapping at my partner.
I have no patience with my dog.
I can't focus on things like reading a book, music, telly.
I can't even be arsed eating or looking after myself.
I feel dead inside. Emotionless.
I've been referred to Occy health.
Daughter is fine btw and spoke to me on the phone as if nothing had happened. 😔

You have been through a huge amount. I'm glad your daughter is safe now.

@mumof3anddog22

Really don't know if this is relevant now to how I started this thread. I'm broken. I can't stop crying. I can't concentrate at work. I'm snapping at my partner. I have no patience with my dog. I can't focus on things like reading a book, music, telly. I can't even be arsed eating or looking after myself. I feel dead inside. Emotionless. I've been referred to Occy health. Daughter is fine btw and spoke to me on the phone as if nothing had happened. 😔

This is a normal trauma response, you have been through so much.

Can you access counselling to work through this? Please speak to your GP x

Yes you need support yourself mumof3 - see your gp - you will have some local counselling service which is free under primary care.
Victims support may also be able to guide you.

@mumof3anddog22

Really don't know if this is relevant now to how I started this thread. I'm broken. I can't stop crying. I can't concentrate at work. I'm snapping at my partner. I have no patience with my dog. I can't focus on things like reading a book, music, telly. I can't even be arsed eating or looking after myself. I feel dead inside. Emotionless. I've been referred to Occy health. Daughter is fine btw and spoke to me on the phone as if nothing had happened. 😔

This is common as pp said. One step at a time

Hi all.
Not sure if anyone still reading.
I've spoken to Occy health. They think I have depression. Was given the number for counselling which I've sorted. And need to sort something called remploy
I have a doctors appointment next week.
Fed up of feeling sick in the morning and actually dry heaving at the thought of another day.

Just read the whole thread and I'm so so sorry for everything you've been through. I really hope the doctors can help you