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Original poster

Last chance meet

34 replies

Lastchancesussex · 07/01/2022 12:35

Hello everyone.

First time poster.

I wanted a bit of advice as I am meeting my ex for a bit of a farewell.

Lots of love, lots of tears over the last year but we need to fall over the cliff to see what happens. There is lots of compassion but we have been hit by a number of circumstances that have just caused us to split. Nothing serious and that’s half the problem, we actually get on.

So we are meeting this evening to say farewell until early March. No texts, no calls just a complete break. We are not sure what is on the other side.

I’m of a mind that it’s my final chance to say to her that both our mistakes of the past aren’t as important as how much we care for each other and that I want to do everything to repair it and build something new after early March.

We had a 3 hour emotional call last night where we both cried. Talking about the relationship is pretty much what has done this.

Any advice would be welcome.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Etinoxaurus · 07/01/2022 12:37

Falling over a cliff is never a good idea.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 07/01/2022 12:43

"I'm of a mind that it’s my final chance to say to her that both our mistakes of the past aren’t as important as how much we care for each other and that I want to do everything to repair it and build something new after early March"

No, do not do this to yourself. You cannot act as either a rescuer or saviour in a relationship; neither approach works. Why is it your job seemingly also to "fix" this, perhaps too on your own?.

Why do you need to meet your ex face to face?. Wasn't your three hour phone call enough?. Ex's are ex's often for good reason and it really does appear that you and she should not be together at all.

scousemousex · 07/01/2022 12:50

What are you hoping to achieve from this "break"? It shouldn't be this difficult.

Original poster
Lastchancesussex · 07/01/2022 12:51

It’s my job as I messed her about.

I’m crazy about her and it’s taken me time to appreciate what she was offering me in terms of commitment.

Should I buy her some flowers?

OP posts:
crochetmonkey74 · 07/01/2022 12:51

Oh gosh OP is tonight's meet really important? Can't you start the separation period from now given you had the long call yesterday?

It just seems to be stringing it out and giving you more pain and upset

Original poster
Lastchancesussex · 07/01/2022 12:55

I just want to do it in person. It means so much more to see someone’s face and in person.

OP posts:
DirtyDancing · 07/01/2022 12:56

@crochetmonkey74

Oh gosh OP is tonight's meet really important? Can't you start the separation period from now given you had the long call yesterday?

It just seems to be stringing it out and giving you more pain and upset

This. Just pull the sticking plaster off. You sound like you are emotionally draining each other. Let her go. Don't drag it out and have yet another farewell after 3 hours on the phone last night. You both sound a bit needy and dramatic tbh.
Bowwowwowoh · 07/01/2022 12:59

You're dragging it out. The decision has been made. The mistakes of the past may not be as important as the future you envisage with her, but would she say the same?!

Original poster
Lastchancesussex · 07/01/2022 12:59

I’m in love. I can’t help myself and whilst it may seem like we are dragging it out, sometimes love can find a way.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 07/01/2022 13:04

I mean this kindly but do give your head a wobble here. Another highly charged emotional meeting/farewell along the lines of yesterday is not going to help anyone here.

Let her go. You can help yourself here.

girlmom21 · 07/01/2022 13:05

If you're having a break you need to agree on the terms of the break.

If you're separating give her everything of hers back because 3 months apart is a long time and a lot will change.

Bowwowwowoh · 07/01/2022 13:06

How much time did it take you to appreciate what she was offering you in terms of commitment? Why didn't you appreciate that when you were together?

Original poster
Lastchancesussex · 07/01/2022 13:13

She put on a lot of pressure when i had pressure at work, family and lockdown. It broke me.

OP posts:
Bowwowwowoh · 07/01/2022 13:16

What do you mean it 'broke' you?

Bypassed21 · 07/01/2022 13:19

Are you at the point of starting a trial separation - or are you splitting for good?

If it's a trial separation - I really don't think long emotional farewells will help - if it's a trial period - you both need to stay separate until March (if thats the planned end of the trial) to individually consider your futures - that's the whole point

Or - if it's a permanent split - why have you planned to meet again in March??

There's a lot of "I want" statements in your posts? Believe me no matter how much you think you love and care for your partner, or how much you want the relationship to work - if she doesn't love you back there's nothing you can do to "fix" the relationship.

And I would say absolutely don't buy her flowers.

PaniniHead · 07/01/2022 13:21

How long had you been together?

girlmom21 · 07/01/2022 13:22

@Lastchancesussex

She put on a lot of pressure when i had pressure at work, family and lockdown. It broke me.
Why do you want to stay with someone who broke you instead of supporting you?
MsJaneAusten · 07/01/2022 13:23

This all sounds like a lot of drama. Forget all the ‘falling over a cliff’ and ‘broke me’ crap. Just decide if you want to be together or not.

BestestBrownies · 07/01/2022 13:32

This sounds like the melodramatic emotional claptrap a cheater employs

Original poster
Lastchancesussex · 07/01/2022 13:34

Hahah.

We live in such a positive world.

I’m trying to be positive and acknowledge that 90% of what we had is good.

OP posts:
Bowwowwowoh · 07/01/2022 13:35

It isn't a percentages game @Lastchancesussex

lunar1 · 07/01/2022 13:37

It all sounds very dramatic and exhausting and is reminiscent of a breakup when I was 16.

Bringithome · 07/01/2022 13:39

Sounds like a hugely dramatic relationship that has ‘burnt out’ and is fuelled by drama and emotion. Let her go and don't bother meeting. This doesn't sound like love. It sounds like lust, control and infatuation.

crochetmonkey74 · 07/01/2022 13:47

How long were you together and did she leave you first due to your lack of commitment?

Yummypumpkin · 07/01/2022 13:51

She isn't going to get back with you.

Who pushed for the meet up?

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