Would this bother you...dozens of female friends

[SixDinners]

Been seeing a guy, and he has so many female friends. He telephones them, texts them, goes out with them to pubs,events, has them round for meals. He tells me all about them. Some are single, some married, some nearby,some far afield. We see each other quite regularly but on the days or nights we don't, Ican guarantee that he will have been out socially with a different female every day. He tells me what they've talked about ( really personal stuff in many cases) , talks about me to them...
I'm definitely not the jealous type but the sheer volume seems crazy. I honestly forget who is who when he is talking about them.
Not had any experience of this and I don't have many friends at all...and no male ones. Looking for wiser MNetters opinions...

Does this seem off? I honestly almost go to sleep when he is telling me in great detail about Amy and her menopause or Jess with her divorce or Karen with her job loss etc etc.

Oh him not wanting you to meet them is a problem. Surely, you want to introduce your gf to your friends. Wondering if like pp said he's game playing to have you all compete with one another for his attention. As your relationship grows more serious you'll likely want more time with him and he'll enjoy you and his friends getting annoyed/jealous of the other. It's called triangulation or something I think.

Dude has definitely got issues.

Is he definitely doing all these things btw? Or just telling you he is? Would you know for certain if he's meeting them everyday etc. Could he be lying to make himself seem very in demand/trusted etc?

Does he have a job?!

My husband had a lot of female friends, but they weren't forced out of situations as this guys seem to be, more just old uni friends or from workplaces. He didn't bang on about them all the time, although over time I got to know something of their lives and I met pretty much all of them.

I wouldn't like this as it seems excessive, like he can't go anywhere without a partner (or substitute partner), is emotionally indiscreet, and he isn't that affectionate with you- so are you just another of his collection?

I think there's something off here, OP, and it's not to do with male/female friendships as such but his constant need for company and disinterest in affection with you. I think you know this already.

Sounds tedious. Very tedious.

The whole thing sounds strange to me. I have male friends but not a massive circle of them who I am meeting with weekly and sharing intimate information with.

As a pp said, how can you be sure that he's really meeting these women?

Have to be honest!

Gay! was the first thing I thought of, particularly the constant gossiping about other women!

To think he sent you the same photo as all the other girls!

Sorry! but he would give me the ICK!

He sounds self-absorbed and a bit narcissistic.

Like this is his personal harem to validate him.

The oversharing gets old fast.
Going on for an hour about people you don't know, my eyes would have glazed over from the boredom. I'd be tempted to pull faces, clip my toe nails, anything to see if he even noticed or was completely mezmorized by the sound of his own voice.

Give this one a pass.

Well...it gives me something to consider. I am sure he is genuinely meeting them as he will send me pics of them and him doing whatever it is they are doing ( and of course fills me in on trivia about them, so much so as I can now ask " oh did so and so sort her car/ get her loan/ buy her new goldfish)

Funnily there are aspects of his demeanor and interests that actually do seem a bit...well...on the camp side if I'm honest, so it is interesting a few PP have mentioned that.

Yes he does have a job but can work when he chooses and earns quite a bit.

@SixDinners

He's been married and had kids. So probably not gay....! No issue with him having friends of any sex at all and would never say anything. He does have male friends too but he seems to collect the female ones much more. And yes to the oversharing! Why do I need to hear an hours worth of what Jennifer's ex was like ( whoever she is...oh wait she is a third cousin of his next door neighbours sister)??? I've been married myself, had relationships since , and just not met anybody like this.

Wow - he is either a huge extrovert who is very invested/interested in people generally, and he happens to have female friends because of specific hobbies maybe, or there's more to it.

He does 't have any trauma in his past relating to men, does he?

On the more cynical side - he could be gay or enjoys amassing a group of women around him because it makes him feel good for some reason. Either he's saving them for a rainy day for sex, or he's making up for a lot of female sexual rejection he experienced in his youth so this bolsters his self-esteem.

Maybe he’s gay?
Sounds annoyingly indiscreet given he’s in his forties.

Does he like football etc? If not he might just find men boring to hang out with - many male friendships just seem based around watching sport (my ex's friends were like this). Women can be better at conversations sometimes.

If someone gossips to you they will gossip about you. so I suppose it's how much you mind your life being discussed with x number of other women.

@writergirl747474

Does he like football etc? If not he might just find men boring to hang out with - many male friendships just seem based around watching sport (my ex's friends were like this). Women can be better at conversations sometimes.

Every man with only women drivers thinks he's the only man in the world who doesn't like football

I dated a guy like this - at first I thought it was becuae he genuinly liked female company. I tried to not let the jealousy rear its head but started to get annoyed as he spoke about these female friends all of the time and would go to the sea side with them or nights out - as you would if you were dating them. It soon became apparent that he was a narcasist - he needed females attention and admiration and sadly he was also having sex with them.

I'd throw this one back op. He sounds like he likes a little harem around him, wants you all to know about each other and be jealous

He sounds gay to me too.

@SixDinners

Been seeing a guy, and he has so many female friends. He telephones them, texts them, goes out with them to pubs,events, has them round for meals. He tells me all about them. Some are single, some married, some nearby,some far afield. We see each other quite regularly but on the days or nights we don't, Ican guarantee that he will have been out socially with a different female every day. He tells me what they've talked about ( really personal stuff in many cases) , talks about me to them... I'm definitely not the jealous type but the sheer volume seems crazy. I honestly forget who is who when he is talking about them. Not had any experience of this and I don't have many friends at all...and no male ones. Looking for wiser MNetters opinions...

Does this seem off? I honestly almost go to sleep when he is telling me in great detail about Amy and her menopause or Jess with her divorce or Karen with her job loss etc etc.

How many is “so many” ?

@CallMeNutribullet
Got it one - this is exactly what he is doing